Ten obstacles that prevent good communication

Each of us often believes that we are expressing ourselves clearly and that our communication is appropriate, but that is not the case. How do we find out? Basically because others look at us, ask us questions, respond to us in a different way than we expected, etc. So, Our words, attitudes or silences have consequences, even if we do not realize it.

In order to express ourselves in the best possible way and at the same time, obtain the desired results, It is necessary, before speaking, to ask ourselves the following: What do I really want to say? How am I going to say it (or am I saying it at that moment)? Why do I want to express it? Am I starting the conversation in the right place and situation?

There are many reasons that do not allow us to start a conversation, debate in a more efficient, entertaining, natural way or simply transmit what we want to communicate to our interlocutor. Communication also has its ins and outs. The main obstacles that prevent good communication are:

Hinting can obscure our message

It may be difficult for you to talk about certain topics, whether because you are ashamed, sad, upset, angry, etc. If you also need to refer to it because you want to solve it or because it is not good to “keep everything inside”, first get the habit of “insinuating” out of your head.
Insinuating means talking in an unclear way, hoping that the other person realizes or interprets what we are talking about. But it is not possible for that to always happen, since the interlocutor (or listener) does not have a crystal ball or does not know us well enough.

If we do not speak clearly, the other can interpret anything, which is undoubtedly not favorable. Even when we have been living with another person for a long time, it is advisable to be clear and express what we want without letting the other person guess and us assuming about their behavior.

Rushing with our message has its consequences

On the other hand, it is very difficult to talk about a topic that upsets you or that you know will lead to an argument or a fight. Trying to start a difficult conversation in the most pleasant way possible, without much preamble, but also not “getting to the point” without groping is the most appropriate.

The other person may not feel well, may be having a bad day, or may also be overwhelmed by the issue, etc. Just in case, Analyze the situation first before starting. Remember that asking or communicating is not the same as attacking and attacking.

You have to know when to say things and how.

Furthermore, we do not all have the same abilities, for example, one may be good at speaking, the other at listening. Recognize in your interlocutor what profile it is. Addressing you in the wrong way is your problem, not the other person’s, and if you know that that person is a better “listener,” don’t try to get information from them, ask them questions, or ask for their opinion. Respect who the other person is and only let them speak when they want to or feel necessary.

An opportunity to learn to communicate and manage emotional aspects in your conversations and relationships with others can be found in the course “Improve your communication” of Javier Cebreiroswhich will introduce you to the wonderful universe of communication, providing you with strategies and resources.

No listening

Not listening is almost a universal habit. Often, while we pretend to “listen” we are thinking about what we are going to say. Practicing the skill of listening is more difficult than it seems and if not you can prove it…

Big conflicts arise from not listening because instead of a conversation, what happens are monologues. If we listen we will be able to detect in a more adequate way what our interlocutor is telling us and therefore, we will be able to understand it.

Furthermore, another of the interferences present in communication in relation to listening is the excessively high tones of our messages or voices. If in the middle of a talk you start attacking or yelling, don’t expect a good response. It is best to stop and think about how you are saying things. No matter how angry you are, or whether you think it’s a lost battle, remember this saying: “don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.”

Suppose

The evil of many is to assume what the other is saying or thinking to us. Do you really think that because you’ve known that person for a long time you can guess what he has in his head? To assume is to create a story with your personal perceptions…
The best option in a conversation is to ask, ask and ask. There is nothing else. But to do this, you have to first catch yourself making your assumptions about the other… If you are attentive, you will find yourself doing it.

Talking at inappropriate times and places

Another determining factor to be successful in our conversations is recognizing if it is the right time and place. Calling your husband when he is in the office to argue is not a good idea, nor is starting a fight with your girlfriend in the middle of the street.

An important communication needs a suitable place and time. And above all, let it be private. Experts say that to know when and where to discuss or treat a topic delicately, think that instead of talking you are going to get naked. Is it okay to do it in a restaurant, in front of your parents, or on the bus? Well, if your answer is no, it’s not the place to start a discussion either.

Be careful, also, not to let time pass without talking about the subject, because it leads to accumulating hatred and tension, forget what is important and have bad times in the meantime.

Disrespect and labeling others

Disrespect and criticizing, or even judging the other person will not do you any good in the middle of a conversation or argument. Criticizing the person does not improve your argument, it is only proof that you have no valid reasons, you are angry or you simply do not know how to react. when faced with something that is not to your liking.

Previous unresolved issues

Resorting to entrenched past issues to remind the other that they are not perfect or the damage they did to us is also common in arguments and one of the biggest obstacles in communicating with others. But At this moment we are not talking about the past, that is over and if not, we can also decide when to talk about it so that it is settled but at another time.

The important thing is to focus on what has happened now and not start airing dirty laundry or silenced opinions. that we did not bring to light at the time.

A lot of anger or tension

Anger, stress or tension can play tricks on us and cause us to rush and be impulsive in our conversations. It is better to relax, be patient and leave the conversation for a time when we are more calm. than under the experimentation of these sensations.

Have pride

Pride generates consequences in our personal relationships. Sometimes, we will have to give in or take the first step ourselves, we cannot wait for the other to always be the one to start. Our ego loves to be directed towards it to magnify itself but we have to know how to overshadow it.

Lack of clarity about our feelings, desires or thoughts

Not knowing what is happening to us, how we feel or what we want to say will hinder our communication because we will send an ambiguous message. Before speaking, review your feelings and thoughts and decide what you really want to communicate.

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