Home » Amazing World » Stop trying to control the uncontrollable

Stop trying to control the uncontrollable

Trust yourself and your actions. Only in what depends on you. Maintain equidistance with respect to others and those external factors that we cannot control. Accept this reality and you will have eliminated a large part of the anxiety and frustration you feel.

Last update: July 1, 2019

Can you control the uncontrollable? Control means that we can, through our thoughts, emotions and actions, modify some aspect of the environment or our life. If we control something, we have power over it and we can decide its course.

We would all like to be able to control the world around us. But the truth is that there are very few things we can do that about. On a theoretical level, this is nothing new and we are aware of it, but on an emotional level we forget very easily, which leads us to discomfort. We can control what is exclusively within our control, but not with what is beyond our control. That is, we cannot control the uncontrollable.

People, generally, We tolerate uncertainty quite poorly. Also, frustration when expectations are not met just as we wanted. The truth is that it is quite unpleasant when this happens, just as it is sometimes disturbing not knowing what is going to happen in a given situation.

What can I control?

In the external world, nothing. In yourself, your entire being, it’s that simple. This reality makes us free and calm, if we keep it in mind and believe it. There are countless problems and stressful or unfortunate circumstances and it is logical to get excited when they occur. The emotions that arise due to a threat or loss are totally normal.. Besides, They help us react to the present problem.

Emotions help us solve problems. They prepare us for action, if they are not too intense, long-lasting or frequent.

When your emotions, on the other hand, become too intense, frequent or long-lasting, it is because something is wrong. Probably, it’s because you’re trying to control the uncontrollable. Maybe you are telling yourself that things should be different, just the way you would like.. Therefore, this way of thinking ultimately frustrates you because things are not going to be that way just because we want them to.

Internalize the idea that there is nothing you can control but yourself and you will become a flexible and strong person on an emotional level, capable of enjoying what you have at hand.

Tolerate uncertainty and frustration

To grow on a psychological level, it is advisable to learn to tolerate uncertainty and frustration. Uncertainty appears when we face something and we do not know with certainty what is going to happen. Some people react with anxiety to uncertainty because they “prepare” in case what is going to come is something dangerous.

Read Also:  If they treat you badly, remember that there is something wrong with them, not with you.

Thus, they implement the strategy of continuous concern. The point is that No matter how much we worry about something, that’s not going to stop it from happening in the end, if it has to happen.

Although I worry a lot because I have noticed severe pain in my head, that is not going to make me have or not have an illness. Another different thing is that if I am finally diagnosed, I should be responsible and take care of it, something totally logical and sensible.

On the other hand, we find frustration, that feeling that arises when our expectations are not met. I expect life, others, even myself to act according to rules that I make up myself and if that’s not the case, then I get angry, depressed or anxious.

The end result is that the world goes on its way and I prescribe unpleasant anger to myself. Two problems for the price of one, is it worth it?

Keys to stop controlling the uncontrollable

Some keys that you can use to stop controlling the uncontrollable and tolerate that feeling of uncertainty, are:

Accept and tolerate that certainties and securities do not exist.: In this world the only thing we can be sure of is that one day we will die, but nothing more. We cannot be absolutely certain that our partner loves us and will never abandon us, nor whether we will get sick or whether we will be successful in our work.Even though I put a lot of effort into something, that doesn’t mean I’ll achieve it: It is true that if we do things more or less well, we will obtain better results, but this is not always the case since the world is unfair by definition. That’s why, It is better to forget about the results and put our attention on enjoying what we do, no matter what will happen in the future.Forget rigid rules about yourself, others and the world: Nothing, or almost nothing, is going to turn out exactly the way we want. Getting angry, depressed or anxious about things that are beyond our control is a waste of energy and time.Take responsibility for yourself: Since the good news is that you can control yourself, start doing it now. You can observe reality from many angles and you can also strive to be more flexible and care about everything a little less. Of course, without reaching the point of passatism, which, in reality, is another way of being controlled by fear.You might be interested…

Read Also:  Daughters who did not receive love: what are their emotional relationships like?

All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Leal, P., & Contreras, A. (1998). Low tolerance for frustration and addictions. LiberAddictus, 17.Páez, MB, Luciano, C., & Gutiérrez, O. (2007). Psychological treatment to cope with breast cancer. Comparative study between acceptance and cognitive control strategies. Psychooncology, 4(1).Wilson, KG, & Soriano, MCL (2014). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Pyramid Editions.

Are You Ready to Discover Your Twin Flame?

Answer just a few simple questions and Psychic Jane will draw a picture of your twin flame in breathtaking detail:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Los campos marcados con un asterisco son obligatorios *

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.