Sociable love: the future of many couples

If you look around and compare the relationships of couples you know, you will find big differences. Some are in their initial stages and others have spent a lifetime in company; There are those that exude emotion and intensity, and others that reflect profound stability (and, perhaps also, profound boredom). Of all the types of bonds that exist, there is one that is very common and interesting: the one based on sociable love.

We can observe this type of love in those deep and genuine friendship relationships that overcome the passage of time, gradually becoming a safe haven for its members. Furthermore, also It is very common to identify it in couples and marriages with a long history. Do you want to know what it consists of? We’ll tell you then.

Sternberg’s love triangle

Throughout history there have been many definitions of love; but, without a doubt, one of the most relevant is the one that arises from the work of psychologist Robert J. Sternberg. His triangular theory of love states that this state is made up of three basic elements, and depending on the combinations between them, different types of bonds are found.

According to Sternberg, complete love is the combination of three components:

Passion: make reference to physical attraction and sexual desire, but also romantic intensity; to that constant desire to seek out the other and enjoy with emotion and delight their presence and their company. It is very common in the early stages of the relationship.Privacy: Alludes to the complicity, connection and harmony that exists between both members of the couple. That feeling of affection and great closeness that arises when both mutually reveal themselves and nurture deep trust.Commitment: is the intention and decision to continue with the long-term relationship, to continue being part of it despite the adversities and setbacks that may arise. It refers to the will to create and sustain a common project.

Sociable love is very common in long-standing couples.

Sociable love: the sum of intimacy and commitment

As we have mentioned, passion is the main component at the beginning of a courtship. They are those “butterflies in the stomach” or those intense brain discharges of dopamine that make us feel like we are flying with the person we love and that motivate us to continue seeking their company without ever getting tired of them.

By the natural process of love, This intensity fades or stabilizes and gives way to calmer, more serene and stable states. The complicity, trust, and security that the couple gives us is what ultimately allows the relationship to last and deepen.

Therefore, in those couples who have been together for years, what is known as sociable love frequently takes hold. This arises from the combination of intimacy and commitment, but almost completely lacks passion.. If you observe your environment, you will be able to identify many relationships that follow this dynamic.

What does social love look and feel like?

sociable love It feels like a relationship of great friends.. It is not like empty love, in which only commitment or the feeling of duty sustains the bond. In this case, there is great connection and complicity, each person finds in the other the person they trust the most and the one they turn to to share their achievements, their failures, their dreams and their fears.

There is usually a good understanding achieved over time and with the decision of both to be vulnerable, support each other and bond on a deep level. People in this type of couple They know each other very well, they understand each other and they choose each other every day. In fact, they are very stable ties that provide security. Both are, above all, colleagues and there is a vital project in common.

In sociable love, the couple enjoys great complicity.

Dealing with the absence of passion is possible

This is a type of relationship that is very present today and For many people it is not a conflict so be it. They have assumed that the transformation of their bond implies the loss of passion and they feel comfortable with everything it brings them.

In many other cases, however, This absence generates frustration, dissatisfaction and unhappiness. We miss that romantic desire, that illusion of sharing with others, a greater physical approach and a fuller sexual connection.

It is true that love changes over time and that it is common for passion to fade, but there is no reason to resign ourselves to this reality. Passion can be recovered if there is intention on both sides, if it is cultivated and not expected to arise spontaneously, if the relationship is not neglected in this aspect.

Therefore, if you are experiencing a bond of sociable love and would like to see this last missing element resurface, get to work. Couples therapists and sexologists can provide the necessary keys to recover the passion and accompany the couple in this process.

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