Family myths and their effects

Family myths are fictitious beliefs and hopes shared by an entire family. Such beliefs have to do with the family itself and the ties that unite it. They are assumed as “truths” and determine the individual and collective behavior of that human group; They also determine the roles of each one.

The most common thing is that family myths are preconscious; That is, they move on the border between the conscious and the unconscious. This means that the family acknowledges having certain beliefs, but is not clear to what extent their scope extends, or why these ideas are considered valid.

Although family myths are defined as a fictitious belief, the truth is that behind them there are almost always truths that are painful or intolerable for the family.. Generally, the signs of these myths are found in the secret or implicit rules that each family group implements within itself.

The characteristics of family myths

One of the characteristics of family myths is that they take shape mainly in the assignment of roles in the family.. These beliefs define who is “the black sheep” or what is the “role model”, etc. The most common thing is that there is strong resistance to changes in these roles; In some cases this even becomes a taboo subject.

Other characteristics of these myths are the following:

They shape intrafamilial relationships.They represent the image that the family has of itself. Any attempt to change beliefs results in strong resistance. They fulfill the role of covering up a reality that the family refuses to accept.They always have a basis of truth.They are transmitted from generation to generation. They are present in all families, to a greater or lesser extent. They represent the way in which the family relates to the culture. They are generally not lies, since they have to do with historical events in the family. .

Among the positive aspects that myths provide is that They provide identity to family members and provide guidelines for behavior and functioning. However, on their negative side, myths sometimes prescribe very rigid or demanding behaviors.

Every myth comes from a set of elements that regulate and guide behavior, prescribing interactions that family members must have with the outside world. These myths are basically of three types: harmony, apology and reparation, and salvation. Let’s see.

Harmony myths

The myths of harmony correspond to those families that build an idyllic image of themselves. They develop a whole series of behaviors to convince themselves that balance, unity and fraternity prevail among all their members. It is as if there were no problems within that family group.

In general, this type of family builds that image for others. There is a guilt that they want to cover up and the idea of ​​perfect harmony serves as a means so that they are not investigated or judged by others. There is often depression and boredom in these family groups, as well as strong unresolved hostilities. These families try to appear happy to others, presenting a façade of harmony.

Apology and reparation myths

The myths of apology and reparation are a little more complex, since they involve deeper elaboration. In this case, what happens is that Responsibility for family misfortunes or problems is placed on one or more people. These people can be alive or dead. Sometimes someone outside the family, but who is related to it, is also blamed.

The most obvious example is that of the “scapegoat”; Whoever occupies that role is blamed for what does not work well or for the problems that exist. This frees other family members from responsibility.. What operates in this case is fundamentally a projection mechanism; in this case, collective.

Salvation myths

When family myths of salvation are present, Family members construct the figure of the “mythical savior”. This is a character from whom a redemptive intervention is expected, whether in the face of a specific problem or difficulties in general. It is believed that said savior has the power to provide what is needed or unblock what is not working.

The figure of the mythical savior may be embodied in one of the family members, but it could also be someone external. It is very common for family groups to assign that role to the psychologist, when they are in a therapy process.

Finally, the more pathological the family relationships are, the more frequently these myths tend to appear and consolidate. These are the wrong way to address, without addressing, problems that must be updated in their approach and solved.

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