Shy people: 11 phrases that will be very useful for them

Shyness is not a pathology In herself. In reality, we have all been shy in some context. Now, when this characteristic makes us suffer or limits our daily life, it is advisable to do something about it. Therefore, we want to offer you some phrases to overcome shame and shyness that can encourage you to reflect.

Shy and shameful people have difficulty forming new relationships and performing certain tasks that involve exposure to the judgment of others. This can interfere with their academic or work performance and sometimes even lead to unwanted loneliness.

However, a change in perspective can be enough to encourage us to take small risks that take us out of that comfort zone. We hope that the following phrases help you achieve this goal.

Phrases to overcome shame and shyness

Doctors, writers, philosophers, politicians and personalities from various fields have reflected on shyness, paying special attention to its origin and its consequences.

1. “Shyness is made up of the desire to please and the fear of not achieving it.” (Edme-Pierre Beauchêne)

Although they may seem cold, distant or disinterested, as a rule, and like everyone else, they hope to gain the favor of those around them. And it is precisely the fear of not achieving it that often paralyzes them, inhibits them and leads them to hide behind that mask of silence.

Shy people often feel very insecure.

2. “Many people tend to withdraw into themselves, although they will open up if you are interested in them.” (Sylvia Plath)

As a result of the above, it is worth mentioning the change that we can observe in a shy person if we offer them a safe space to express themselves. If we pay attention and interest, if we respect her rhythm and make her feel safe, we will discover a sensitive and rich personality, totally willing to open up to us.

3. “He who asks timidly invites denial.” (Arthur Schopenhauer)

This is one of the main negative consequences of shyness: it prevents us from expressing ourselves assertively enough to assert our desires and preferences. An insecure, doubtful and lacking confidence person is much more vulnerable against possible attacks from another person.

4. “Shyness has a strange component of narcissism: the belief that others really care about how we dress or act.” (André Dubus)

This is another interesting phrase to overcome shame and shyness, since it opens our eyes to a paradox. Although it may seem that shyness is related to humility, with giving little importance to oneself, in reality it is quite the opposite.

Shame arises from the idea that others have their focus on us and that what we do or say is really very relevant.

5. “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how little they do.” (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Curiously, most of people are always so focused on themselves, in their own affairs and concerns that they hardly notice others. That magnifying glass evaluation to which the shy believe they are subjected does not really occur; in the same way that others are not so implacable in their judgments or so severe in judging. Therefore, the shameful person fears what he imagines more than what really happens.

6. “To the timid and indecisive, everything is impossible, because it seems that way.” (Walter Scott)

Many times shyness and embarrassment can act as a self-fulfilling prophecy. I am afraid of making a fool of myself, of stuttering, of saying something inappropriate… Thus, I experience such a high level of anxiety that it paralyzes me, does not allow me to be myself and leads me to make exactly those mistakes.

The experience ends up being unpleasant and I convince myself that, indeed, I was right: I am not good at public speaking or making friends. However, if I had managed to get rid of those mental limitations, none of that would have happened. What I think is difficult for me is difficult because it seems that way to me.

7. “You’re always saying that people don’t like you, but people can’t like something that’s not there.” (Cath Crowley)

If you are a shy person, you probably think that people don’t like you, that you have a hard time socializing, and you may feel rejected frequently. Nevertheless, It is your own shyness that prevents you from showing yourself, that prevents others from knowing you and appreciating you for who you are.. You can’t connect with someone without daring to be vulnerable.

8. “The way to overcome shyness is to become so involved in something that you forget to be afraid.” (Claudia Lady Bird Johnson)

If you are looking for a method to overcome shyness, this is it: stop focusing on yourself and your social performance and get totally involved in what is happening. Pay attention to that conversation, to that person in front of you, get involved in the conversation, in what you are telling and listening to. When you remove yourself from the center of the equation and really get involved in the situation, that shame will disappear.

9. “Your shyness will bring you more emotional and material losses than all your other negative attributes.” (Amit Kalantri)

A shy person tends to inhibit himself and stay in the background in the hope of hiding his failures and clumsiness from the eyes of others. They say “If I hide, I will avoid being judged for my defects.”. However, this attitude will lead to much more suffering, isolation or rejection than daring to show yourself to the world.

10. “Deep rivers run calmly.” (Haruki Murakami)

Not everything is negative when we talk about shyness. And, as we have mentioned before, these types of personalities have some very positive qualities associated with them.

shy people They usually have a rich and complex inner world, they are sensitive, loyal and have great listening skills.. Valuing one’s own virtues is also very necessary.

Shy people are usually great listeners.

11. “If they are going to reject you, at least it is for being authentic.” (Walter Riso)

We finish this selection of phrases to overcome shame and shyness with a contribution from the famous doctor in psychology Walter Riso. And it is always preferable to expose ourselves to rejection for having allowed ourselves to be who we are than for having hidden behind a mask of insecurity.

In short, shame and shyness can be a drag on our development in different areas; and, most importantly, they can cause us great suffering if they are excessively present. We hope that the previous phrases have helped you reflect on this matter and have motivated you to take a first step to overcome that fear.

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