Should I tell all about my ex to my current boyfriend?

Imagine that you start a relationship and everything goes well, until your partner starts asking you about your previous relationships. Will it be healthy to tell him all about your exes?

Undoubtedly, everyone has passed. In the same way that your partner has probably been involved with other people, you also have stories of romantic relationships before you started dating him. The problem with talking about these relationships and revealing the details is that he can feel jealous, which is understandable. On the other hand, if you don’t answer his questions on the subject, he may think you have something to hide. Difficult decision, but we have tips to help you overcome the impasse.

Make sure he wants to know

Of course, in a relationship, it is common to comment on the experiences lived by both. You can even do this, as long as it’s sparingly and without exaggerating the wealth of details, so you don’t give the impression that you miss your ex.

If you notice that your boyfriend insists that you bring up the topic, ask him directly what he wants to know, but be prepared: curiosity can seem exaggerated and it’s up to you to give a satisfying but short answer without unnecessary details.

If, on the other hand, your boyfriend seems annoyed when you talk about your ex, you have to police yourself not to do it too often. In some cases, you may want to ask him to open the game with you and tell him what bothers him when you bring it up.

Make your position clear about your ex

It may be that your partner is uncomfortable when you talk about past relationships simply because they feel insecure, under the impression that you miss or would like to get back together with these people.

In that case, a frank conversation is the best way out. Make it clear to him that you don’t intend to go out with your ex again, and that the fact that you’re mentioning his name or some situation you went through together doesn’t mean that you miss that phase.

He needs to understand that if you’re with him now, there’s no reason to worry about the past.

don’t compare

It is very difficult to make the guy feel safe if you are constantly comparing him to your exes, especially when you praise the qualities of others, pointing out the flaws of the current partner. This kind of attitude demonstrates a lack of respect and very serious consideration for those around you.

To understand how he feels when you act this way, switch places. You wouldn’t like it if he started comparing your body to the bodies of the girlfriends he’s had, or claiming that you’re not as smart or beautiful as they are. This exercise helps you get a broader sense of how offensive these comparisons are.

In general, the past should be treated as such. The experiences acquired throughout life have allowed you to become who you are today and it will not be possible or even healthy to try to erase them once and for all. When you name your ex, let it be on a topic that will bring some evolution to your current relationship. Likewise, when you hear him talk about his ex-girlfriends, take it easy, calling the cat’s attention only if he disrespects you in some way.

Maybe that story that “ex good is ex dead” (in the figurative sense) is really true, but it’s always better to look maturely at those choices that you regret today.