Selfish, and a lot of honor!

The ego has a very bad reputation and selfishness even worse. Someone selfish is the one who does not take others into account, only himself. But that’s not entirely true. Because there is a way to be selfish while taking others into account and that, in addition, it can be a great source of personal growth.

First you

Let’s get on a plane. Surely the vast majority of us have noticed safety standards placed in the bag in front of our seat. In them they explain to us that, in the event of depressurization of the cabin, the oxygen masks will jump and, if things get worse, we will even have to put on the life jacket.

all these rules they insist that we must first save ourselves. Then, and only then, can we help. The rule is clear: our safety comes first, then that of others.

Selfishness? Yes, selfishness that tries to improve things starting from oneself and, thus, have a positive impact on others.

Why does selfishness bother us so much?

The problem is that From childhood we are taught otherwise. First them, then me. And so, selfishness is very frowned upon, even in its definition in the dictionary: “Excessive valuation of oneself.”

Can a valuation be excessive? For whom? Of course, always for the other. It is like the famous phrase of Jean Cocteau: “An egoist is someone who insists on talking to you about himself when you are dying to talk about yourself.”

We must change our vision of selfishness, understand that we need to be more selfishwhich means being aware of ourselves. and serve us well. Serve each other, listen to each other, understand each other and see that the world begins with us.

Can selfishness be positive for others?

If we don’t understand each otherwe take care of ourselves, we respect each other and we attend to each other, it will be impossible to do anything positive for anyone.

We have said that the world begins in us, but that world continues in others. That is the big difference. We must start from ourselves and go towards others.

As in the example of the plane with which we started. More and more voices are raised in favor of selfishness. Even from the realm of sciencewhere the important role that selfishness plays in relationships is being addressed.

Like the research of Professor Casey Totenhagen, from the University of Alabama (USA), who published a study on the benefits of selfishness in the happiness of the couple.

Selfishness plays a fundamental role in the couple, since it makes us not give up our passions or hobbies… nor ourselves. And so, frustration, reproaches and distances do not arise.

Being selfish, the key to happiness

But beyond couples, selfishness also plays a role in feeling greater happiness, since it helps us to:

Have a High self-steembecause we know each other. Because we are aware of who we are and also who we want to become. Knowing how to say no, what it means put limits on others; since one’s own conscience determines that line in which no is no. Knowing how to say yes, that is, express what we want, say it, make us understand. No silences or guessing. Simply because we care and we think it’s important. Have more self-confidence, and dare to leave our comfort zone and take risks and new challenges. And that helps us to further improve self-esteem.Give security to the group. Because a secure person provides security, that truism is so obvious that we tend to ignore it.Treat others better. And surely this is the best and most important virtue of egoism, because a true egoist knows that there is no better thing to be well than to be well and at peace with others.

Yeah, let’s practice selfishness. Let’s put ourselves first. Let’s do our best to be okay. And so, like on the plane, we can help and care for others later.