Psychologists reveal 9 tips to speak the same language as the child

Conflicts with children occur in all families. This is inevitable. Psychologists point out that the most common causes come from the invasion of the child’s personal space, of which he becomes aware after 3 years. From that age, she begins to resist her parents’ orders. Their quest for independence begins at age 3 and continues at age 7 and 9, taking different forms. So, how is it possible to find a common language, so necessary for the coexistence and understanding of our children?

we, from awesome.club, we decided to find out the best way to talk to children, impose the necessary standards of behavior on them, avoid bitter arguments, and demonstrate what really matters.

Nobody likes to be criticized. Remember how you feel when you are rudely criticized or banned from something. That way, you will be able to feel the wave of indignation that invades a child when this happens.

From the moment she feels offended or irritated, she stops communicating and, even worse, stops doing what is asked of her. She learns to soften the situation, even if it sometimes seems very difficult. Reproof accompanied by praise will have a completely different result. Is better!

We know that it is necessary to have a routine, to follow a defined schedule to carry out household chores and duties for adults and, especially, for children. Often, the resistance to this is not due to the fact of what should or should not be done, but the prevailing tone. Offer your child an alternative, but not too complex: consider their age.

The ability to choose and make a decision greatly increases your child’s self-esteem and, at the same time, you maintain control over their behavior.

Such a simple rule, but one that is often difficult for parents to follow. Simply because most child occupations seem unimportant to us adults. Is your child playing with Lego? The first thing that comes to his mind is, “So what? It’s just a game and I need to talk to him now🇧🇷

Is your daughter talking to a friend? Soon you think, “Anyway, they must be talking about silly things while grandma is waiting to show you how to bake a cake.”

Do not devalue activities that bring pleasure to the child, considering what you choose to be much more important. Respect personal space. Imagine how an adult would react in your place.

The idea here is to always try to ask the child whether or not he can postpone his activity at that moment. This is something you should also consider in these cases.

When an adult plays or plays a board game with a child, they often understand that all the rules of the game are “written in stone”. When we force a child to comply with these rules, it can seem that we are teaching something valuable at that moment, since in adult life we ​​have to face obligations and duties, and it is necessary to accept and fulfill them.

But following this precept, where do we leave the creativity, initiative and imagination of the little one? He can become an adult loaded with fixed and boring boundaries. When that is the case, he prefers to let the child invent his own rules, give the game another name. What if this new game is much more fun and interesting than the traditional one? If not, it will serve as an example to show that something new does not necessarily always have to be better. Worth trying!

When the child takes time to get dressed or is constantly confused when carrying out some tasks, we immediately feel a desire to do it for him to finish faster! At these times, adults lack a lot of patience.

Try to stay calm, stay “zen”. Do not impose your help if there is no urgent need, if you are not late or in a hurry. Do you want your little one to be self-sufficient? Be patient and let him ask for help if he is unable to do something. The typical phrase: “Let me do it for you” will make the child become a dependent adult and will end his initiative. Allow your child to make their own mistakes.

And even if the child asks for your help, assess to what extent he is already prepared to do it on his own. And if you are, tell her you might want to try again.

It’s a very pleasant feeling when someone asks you for advice. This means that the person values ​​your opinion. This is especially effective with younger children: between the ages of 6 and 10, children are eager to take on more responsibilities.

Ask direct questions, help your child make decisions. This will allow him to feel like a
serious person, while you show him the importance of an environment of trust between the
close people.

When a child tells us about their problems, we are usually hurt and want to “get inside their head”, to dictate how to behave correctly so they don’t suffer. That phrase: “I told you so!” many times it leaves even against our will. Mothers get nervous, worried, give advice about emotions and often criticize others. However, such attitudes can alienate children.

Don’t put yourself above your child, don’t belittle his suffering. Just stay by your side. Does he feel like crying? Let him do it. Show him that his feelings are important, speak calmly about the situation, and consider how you, together, can find a way out without criticism.

Talking about hypothetical situations concerning other children and their parents and reflecting on movies or
books is a very effective technique to teach your child something. But the key to success lies in doing this in a calm, peaceful environment where the child’s desire to talk about something comes spontaneously.

“Miguel started getting into a lot of fights at school. PWhy do you think he is doing this? Can your parents help you?”

A very important point: when talking about imaginary situations, one should not return to “reality”, with questions to the child such as: “Does this situation seem familiar?”🇧🇷 Don’t think your little one won’t understand what you’re trying to do. If the situation is familiar, he will think about it for himself, without the need for someone to point out. Also, try to listen to everything he says.
have to talk.

Revealing your true intentions to the child after making them imagine the hypothetical situations will destroy all “magic”.

Who better to teach kids a sense of humor than their parents? “Grace” helps to deal with complex situations and serves to eliminate all bad energy.

Funny imitations, talking toys and objects, the ability to simply laugh together while watching cartoons… all this is very important to create a good family atmosphere. Showing your artist skills and your ability to fantasize situations facilitates the child’s learning. In addition, many situations can be resolved more quickly with the help of good humor rather than demands and fights.

But be careful with this: children may not understand or dislike sarcasm or bad jokes.

Do you agree with this advice provided by psychologists? What techniques do you use to communicate with your child and address common problems?