Psychological signs that you are a victim of domestic violence

The overwhelming majority of the population knows that no person can be humiliated, attacked or insulted. However, when someone finds himself in the midst of a web of subtle manipulation techniques, he may not even realize that he is being methodically mistreated and taken to a dangerous point in human relationships. And the situation gets even more nebulous when the violent behavior comes from a loved one.

We often forget the fact that abuse is notin always occur physically🇧🇷 psychological violence presents itself in those situations in which one person controls the life of another in order to distort the sense of reality and the perception of what is really happening. It is common for the situation to be associated with emotions: the victim distances himself from his own life and tasks and focuses on fulfilling the aggressor’s wishes, that is, a person inclined to cruelty and manipulation.

Psychological abuse causes serious damage to self-esteem and causes a feeling of guilt and discouragement in the victim. It’s hard to notice when you or a person around you suffers this kind of abuse, after all, not everyone is immediately aware of the fact that something is wrong.

An abuser can be a person of any gender and age, and their strategies can vary greatly depending on the circumstances. Psychologists and employees of entities that work in these types of cases recommend taking seriously any worrying thoughts and feelings that exist in this regard. Therefore, the awesome.club prepared for you a list of alarm signals connected with the subject. If any of the following triggers a strong emotional response, your relationship may not be doing so well and you need immediate help.

You think you need to hide something so your partner doesn’t find out. You feel anxiety, apathy, depression, without finding the reason. Consider yourself ugly/ugly and think you don’t meet the expectations of the other. He believes that he will not be able to face any situation without his partner. The relationship goes from one extreme to the other: either everything is “very good” or everything is “very bad”. There’s no middle ground.

You have the feeling that problems appear meaningless, but you still feel guilty about them. He is afraid to share his secrets and experiences, knowing that the other person will tell everyone. He does something just to get his partner’s ordeal. You feel that no one is interested in you, except for your current partner. Give up your own desires for the sake of your partner. He thinks he is to blame for something and that he should be punished for it. He starts to communicate less with relatives and friends. Starts talking about something important, but the conversation is always interrupted and nothing comes of it.

He usually adopts a patronizing air that hides insults (“You won’t understand”, “Do you happen to know what professionalism is?”). He devalues ​​his achievements (“Anyone could do that”). Criticize your desires and dreams. Minimization is a very subtle manipulation, applied to make you see your own worries as exaggerated, so that the number of your needs goes down until you feel like an “insignificant person”. He says people around him have a bad idea about him and say nasty things behind his back. You lose your cool when you don’t follow instructions given (make coffee, prepare dinner). He can go hours or even days without talking to you. He alone controls the family budget, deciding for himself what can be bought or not. When he feels offended, he refuses access to money, freedom and physical proximity.

It controls how you dress, where and who you can hang out with. Makes jokes about you that make you uncomfortable. After meeting with friends, point out situations in which you would have behaved inappropriately. Gives ultimatums: “If you don’t do this, then I…”. Establishes conditions for love: “I love you, but…”. When you get offended, he gets angry in response. Many abusers try to put themselves in the victim’s shoes in search of more attention. Blame yourself for the other person’s failures, both small and large (“I forgot my umbrella because you didn’t remind me”). Guilt for things you didn’t do. It insults when you are alone, but in public, it wants to pass the image of the perfect couple. It oversizes all your imperfections (if you’re late a few times, you’ll say you’re never punctual).

Some abusers appear to be polite and caring people at the beginning of the relationship, but over time, they show their true colors. So it’s important that you don’t get stuck in the past and know that it’s practically impossible to get a person to change.

If you are experiencing a situation of psychological violence, first, get rid of the feeling of guilt and responsibility for all the problems that affect the couple. If the aggressive behavior continues for much longer, trust your instincts and look for friends and relatives, or entities that follow up victims of abuse. At the Public Ministry, for example, you can go to the Prosecutor’s Office for Domestic Violence or Human Rights. Try not to take it for granted when your partner says he’ll “go crazy” if you seek help, and don’t believe the promises that “everything will be different from now on”. You can find more instructions here.

Do you have any other tips for facing a difficult situation like the one described in this post? Please leave a comment with your advice!