Psychological manipulation techniques of which you may be a victim

They are in the places we frequent most often. It could be your boss, the upstairs neighbor, a coworker, a client, a distant or close family member, or any friend. We are talking about people who perfectly master certain manipulation techniques and who use them to confuse us.

Even though they are around us, It is not easy to detect these people. Their characteristics and personality traits are not evident. Nobody wears a sign on their forehead warning that they are a narcissist or a sociopath. So how can we avoid them?

Why me?

These types of people feed on other people’s pain. Therefore, it is not that you are weaker, vulnerable or special, but that you are another victim for them. One more number.

We have all experienced guilt or mistrust after certain situations in which we find ourselves involved. And the worst thing is that we feel it without knowing: neither how nor why. But the fact is that the consequences affect us, undermine our morale, complicate our lives and increase our insecurities. How do they do it without us even realizing it?

What are the manipulators looking for?

In general, there are many types of manipulative people: sociopaths, narcissists, liars or the so-called psychological vampires. And detecting them is more of a practical than theoretical issue.. Therefore, if you have ever been victims of them, it will be easier for you to anticipate them.

However, it can be considered that the objectives of manipulative people are very clear, instrumental and follow a certain pattern. Some of them are:

Override your willpower: They seek to sow doubt and make you remain under their protection.Destroy your self-esteem: take issue with everything you do or have done. They are not constructive, they just try to bring out flaws.Passive-aggressive revenge: They punish you with their ignorance. When you need them, they leave you aside; So all you have to do is ask them for something, for them to stand you down or not even speak to you again.distort reality: They enjoy confusing people and creating arguments and misunderstandings. After having generated a dispute, they stay on the sidelines having fun with each other’s disputes.

Learn to avoid their manipulation techniques

The consequences of its manipulation can leave a very deep mark on each of us. Therefore, it seems necessary that we know what manipulation techniques they use most frequently. The question is learn to anticipate and not to be their puppets.

These people tend to laugh at our opinions, blame us or make us feel guilty, subtly attack, interrogate us, delay what doesn’t interest them, self-pity, deny truths… Everything necessary to control the situation. But, What manipulation techniques do they use to achieve this?

Gaslighting

Known as “gaslight,” it is one of the most insidious. “That has never happened”, “You imagined it” or “Are you crazy?” These are some of the expressions they use to distort and confuse your sense of realitymaking you believe something that has not happened.

Barton and Whitehead (1969) They defined “gaslighting” as “the intentional pursuit of making a person appear crazy and obtaining a benefit from them.” It instills in victims an extreme sense of distress and confusion, to the point that they no longer trust themselves, their own memory, perception, or judgment.

In an investigation of Galan and Figeroa (2017) describe doing “gaslighting” with denial of the harm caused, creating lies, offering false information and disqualifying the feelings towards the victim. It is also a method to confuse the partner, manipulate, blame and downplay the experiences, and in this way destroy the victim through her mental health.

The communication from attacker to victim is hostile through silences, complaints, harmful jokes and humiliation, threats, etc. The consequences on the victimAccording to the authors, there can be several:

Feeling of guilt. Disorientation. Panic. Anger. Grief. Low self-esteem. Lack of autonomy. Emotional dependence. Alcohol consumption. Even suicide.

Projection

The manipulator transfers their negative traits or shifts responsibility for their behaviors to another person. Narcissists and psychopaths overuse it, claiming that the evil around them is not their fault, but yours.

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Pointless conversations

Ten minutes of conversation. That’s how long it will probably take you to abandon the talk. Manipulators say nonsense, illogical explanations, smoke screens, events from the past…

They only mess. They do monologues and try to envelop you with their verbiage. An advice? Cut to the chase. And if you can leave after 5 minutes, the better. Your mind will thank you.

Generalizations and disqualifications

They make general, vague, non-specific statements. They may seem intellectual, but in reality, they are lazy. His conclusions are too general; your goal is dismiss you and throw away your opinions.

For example, “you always want to be right”, “everything bothers you”, “you never agree”. Keep calm. You can use irony, with a simple “thank you,” or ignore him with a resounding “I think you’re a little upset, we’ll talk later.”

The absurd

Remember that they seek to undermine your morale and make you rethink what you believe in. They can put words in your mouth that you haven’t said, they will make you think that they have the superpower of “reading your mind.” But no, they are just tricks and goings-on. You can help yourself through simulated claudication. You tell him he’s right to believe it, but you maintain your position. You can also respond to her blackmail with an “okay” or with laconic phrases.

The important thing is that you take your self-esteem out of their hands.. They think it’s what they want to throw on the ground so they can control you. Once they have weakened you, the task for them is much easier.

Kindness costume

“Yes, but…” If you have just bought a house, they will tell you that what a shame you still don’t have another one on the beach; If you have become more elegant than ever, he will point out that other earrings would have looked better on you… If you have completed an impeccable report, he will notice that the clip is not securely fixed.

But don’t let it affect you, you know your worth! Your achievements and your virtues are worth more than their manipulation techniques. Don’t give it credibility and hang out with people who spend more time emphasizing what is right and encouraging you; those who flatter you when they have to and issue constructive, not destructive, criticism.

Resist his attack of rage

When you oppose a manipulator, The most normal thing is that his anger increases in a few seconds, especially if you do not play along.: Your tolerance for frustration is usually not very high. He may begin to say atrocious things and even insult you and refer to you in derogatory and pejorative terms. It is the result of his own distrust.

These are the most subtle and frequent manipulation techniques that these people use to humiliate you. Mastering your emotions and keeping a cool head: the only way to escape their control. If you don’t succumb, they will get tired and end up looking for another victim. Life away from toxic people is much better.

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