Psychological abuse: traits of an abuser

Psychologists or psychiatrists question whether psychological abuse is the consequence of an illness., but rather they lean towards an explanation that has to do with an unequal system. That is, an abuse of power or domination that affects society.

An abuser usually begins by harassing the victim, reducing their freedom.isolating her from her environment (family, friends, etc.), undermining her self-esteem, blocking her and undermining her perception of security, gradually transforming her into a dependent.

There are very common phrases among women who suffer psychological abuse from their partners: “He gets angry when I go out with my friends“, “He tells me not to put on too much makeup.“, “He doesn’t like that I wear a very short skirt“, “He doesn’t want me to talk to my male coworkers.”.

Reprimanding, treating her like a girl, considering her useless or clumsy, making her change her way of being or dressing, are also ways of carrying out psychological abuse. The abuser also usually abuses his power, whether economic or physical. and makes the woman feel guilty about her way of speaking, thinking, acting, etc.

The cycle of psychological abuse

The problem of guilt is very common in psychological abuse,Stockholm syndrome

The cycle of psychological abuse usually begins in the childhood of the abuser himself in many cases., or in some type of trauma that has occurred during the first years of life (until adolescence). The abuser may have lived in an environment with a lot of physical or verbal violence and has had to suffer fear, abandonment, retaliation, excessive control, beatings, etc.

“Violence, in whatever form it manifests itself, is a failure.”

-Jean Paul Sartre-

Psychological abuse: profile of the abuser

Next, We indicate the main characteristics of a person with a clear abuser profile.abuser or batterer, in which psychological abuse is part of their way of relating.

Read Also: 7 famous phrases from Marcuse

Possessive, dominant and demanding

One of the first actions of an abuser is to want to distance his partner from family and friends. .

This transforms the victim’s personality, deprives him of external support and makes him dependent. With the use of violence he exercises absolute power over what he does, what he thinks and what he feels, even in the most intimate part of his being.

Egocentric

For a person who practices psychological abuse the world always has to revolve around him, but it never recognizes him. He does what he likes at all times (the movie, the restaurant, the vacation spot, the outings) and if he doesn’t, he gets angry.

The woman is a simple “satellite” that has to move around her, depending on what he wants. Everything must be under her control and if she wishes to enjoy a little independence from it, she will show the most violent traits of her.

Bad temperament

Tantrums like children, tantrums, anger, threats, pouting, fights, etc. Everything is always justified because of the other person, not because of internal reasons.. He will say that such an attitude puts him in a bad mood, that such a response is the cause of his anger and a long list of etcetera.

The abuser never considers that he is to blame. Blaming others for everything that happens is another characteristic of psychological abuse.

Publicly ridicule or humiliate

Being at a family gathering or dinner with friends A psychological abuser will have no problem “showing” his partner’s defects to others. “Don’t you think she’s a little overweight?”, “she always makes mistakes,” “she doesn’t know how to make meat the way I like it,” “she’s messy,” etc.

Controller-paranoid

Psychological abuse makes the person who practices it think that others want to take advantage of him, of their money, their power, their contacts, their wisdom, their experience, etc.

The abuser has an obsessive need to control the couple every day, using questions designed to look for contradictions.

The abuser constantly monitors his victim’s movements, wanting to know where his girlfriend or wife is, who he is with, what time he returns, what he is doing and what he is not doing, who he is talking to, why he is late for a few minutes, etc. Consider the other person your possession, your object, not a person with a life of its own.

Violent and aggressive

The abuser starts little by little by breaking dishes until he reaches furniture or glass, hitting the walls, throwing things on the floor or against the person, etc. If this point is reached, it is necessary to file a complaint and immediately flee from it.not give him more opportunities.

It seems very simple to get out of a situation of psychological abuse but it is not, since The abuser keeps the victim “tied” in different ways, with a great psychological burden. However, if several of these points sound familiar, you are in trouble that you need to solve before it is too late.

Read Also: Why am I a cold and distant person with others?