Pleasured: a sexual technique to connect with your partner

One of the duties that are usually assigned in sexual therapy is to find moments to caress oneself. This technique is part of sensory focusing, a series of methods that help the couple communicate and explore their sexuality beyond mere intercourse. From here comes the pleasure, where The couple caresses each other with no other intention than to enjoy that type of contact.

It is not necessary to suffer from a sexual problem to practice pleasure. It is simply about exploring the physical sensations of caressing and communicating them to the partner. It is an exercise of pleasure and fun suitable for anyone.

If you want to know more about this technique, here is everything you need to know to practice it. However, if you think that you and your partner need the help of a professional or you feel that something is not right with your sexuality, do not hesitate to go to therapy.

What is the pleasured?

After the Second World War, what is now known as the sexual revolution began: a profound change in Western society regarding the conception of sex, which challenged conventions on sexual morality, relationships and behavior regarding this practice. .

Within this current is the couple of authors of sensory focusing therapy, the gynecologist William Masters and the sexologist Virginia Johnson. Together, they studied the human sexual response and defined its four phases: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

When the sexual response became pathological, the consequences affected the entire relationship. That’s why, pleasure was born as a way to reconnect with your partner without resorting to intercoursesince it is based on the flat and simple communication of the sensations that caresses awaken on the naked body.

Applications of the technique

While it is useful for any couple who wants to explore their sexuality and improve communication, it also works for certain sexual problems. For example, It is widely used as systematic desensitization for those people who have some type of trauma with physical contact, such as victims of sexual abuse. When sexual contact produces anxiety and rejection, pleasure helps create a safe and relaxed environment to expose oneself to it progressively.

It is also useful for sexual dysfunctions such as premature ejaculation, pathological sexual inappetence or vaginismus.. Even so, those couples whose sex life has become routine and their relationship suffers for it also benefit from pleasure. Many people do not know their sexuality beyond the genital part.

How is pleasure practiced?

The pleasurer follows a series of steps ordered under the premise of the prohibition of intercourse. The ideal is to plan the day and the place to arrive with a calm and positive attitude. Once the setting is comfortable, relaxed and safe, proceed as follows:

One of the members of the couple lies down, naked, face down and with their eyes closed.. The other, also naked, begins to caress his partner gently from head to toe, skipping the erogenous zones. It is about transmitting feelings through caresses: calm, love, tenderness.When you reach the feet, whoever is lying turns around and starts the process again.also excepting sexualized areas, such as breasts or genitals.The person who is lying down sits up and spends a few minutes commenting on the exercise.: what sensations it has awakened, the quality of the caresses, etc.The one who has caressed lies down and closes his eyes to receive the same process.Once the exercise is finished, the couple decides whether they want to start a sexual encounter or not. In this way, sexual frustration is avoided in case of excitement, in addition to promoting assertive communication regarding relationships. Be that as it may, both members of the couple are required to respect the other’s refusal.

There are many benefits of this simple technique: degenitalize relationships, learn to give affection and pleasure without asking for anything in return, develop eroticism and create a bond of confidentiality and security with your partner. This is valid for any couple, whatever their characteristics.

Physical contact is vital for most animals, especially those that live in groups.. In the society of instant pleasure we sometimes forget that sexuality is much richer than genitality. This culture of immediacy is what anesthetizes the body when life is too frenetic, and it never hurts to rediscover the most basic sensations through caresses.

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