5 steps to overcome a traumatic memory

Overcoming a traumatic memory is, in most cases, a difficult task that must be faced before it harms people throughout their lives and changes their personality and way of being.

Trauma is defined as a psychological wound that people suffer as a result of a negative event. in their lives, which affects them dramatically, causing pain and emotional distress.

We can’t change the pastthat experience that caused us so much pain (the death of a loved one, a complex relationship or having suffered abuse in childhood) is part of our existence and, sometimes, has great value as a vital educational experience, although not Let’s be aware of it: It teaches us and prepares us to face similar situations in the future.

Resilience: the evolution of traumatic memory

It is curious how in the face of a traumatic experience there are people who come out stronger. Traumas and our weaknesses can be transformed into a positive practice as long as we are able to integrate them into our lives and adapt.

Extracting a positive experience from a traumatic event does not depend only on the capacity of a person but on the achievement of events. in which several people and elements intervene to emerge stronger from that situation and, therefore, learn from it.

A clear example of resilience is the story that the Álvarez Belón family lived in December 2004. That day María and Enrique were enjoying their Christmas vacation in Thailand with their three children.

When the tsunami wave hit, their personal experiences changed forever. Today, many years after that tragedy that took tens of thousands of lives on the shores of the Pacific, the family’s life goes on with absolute normality, living with the change that the strong impact of the event produced.

Blocking memories as a defense mechanism

Our memory works selectively with the memories it stores and in traumatic situations; that is, in these cases Our memory activates a defense mechanism to ignore the past and be able to continue forward.

This defense mechanism in an effort to protect ourselves against the traumatic situations experienced, It blocks negative memories to avoid the suffering of having to relive those moments. Amnesia acts as a protective shield against what we cannot assimilate due to the pain it causes us.

It is common to avoid thoughts associated with traumatic memories and even avoid those situations, activities, objects or people that lead us to remember what happened. However, the situation of not remembering these traumatic situations does not eliminate the negative effect that those events had on us. The pain, sorrow, fear or anger are still present.

How to overcome a traumatic memory

Trust those around you

Try to surround yourself with people who listen to you and support you. Talk about what is happening to you, express your feelings about the memories that torment you and prevent you from enjoying life. Trusted people will support you and empathize with you.

It may happen that sometimes the trauma is the result of what was perceived and not really what happened. For example, a person felt rejected or unloved during their childhood, but this does not mean that this was actually the case. However, having lived it as if that were the case, he will suffer all the consequences that arise from emotional trauma.

Take your time to recover

After any traumatic event there is always a recovery process until we redeem ourselves emotionally again. If you have had such a negative experience, your body and mind will be affected. This situation entails changes physically, behaviorally and in the way you face your life from that moment on.

The completion of the recovery process will depend on each person, It is difficult to set a limit, since we are talking about emotions. It is considered a key moment when we are able to look back at the past and remember what happened without intense pain.

Seek professional help

On certain occasions the cause of the trauma is not clear. The main thing in this case is to discover it to understand the reason for the problem and from there find a solution. It is advisable to go to a professional so that through therapeutic work the origin of that emotional chaos can be found.

Take time

Try to redirect your life by reflecting on how you are going to face the future. Look for support groups that talk about similar experiences to express your doubts, fears and emotions, in a welcoming environment where they will understand you.

Resume your social life, meet with your group of friends. The important thing is that you stay active. Going to a course or meeting center will serve as a distraction and increase your self-esteem. Do physical exercise. Strength, flexibility and balance They are the three pillars on which our health is built, especially when the traumatic memory grips us.

Give meaning to your life

If you look for meaning in your life, your personal value will increase and you will find a justification for your actions. You will prevent anguish from undermining your mood and, apart from enhancing your resilience, you will prevent traumatic memories from invading your daily life.

Viktor Frankl said that The search for the meaning of life is the essence of our existence. That our happiness depends on the attitude of explorers with which we move through the world.

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