Eros, Ludus and Storge, three styles of love

We all know that love is a complex phenomenon in which there are very varied manifestations and intensities. John Alan Lee, a social psychology researcher, proposed a classification of love styles. The result was a book called Colors of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Lovingin which he defines what he calls “amatory archetypes.”

The objective of defining the different styles of love, or love archetypes, was to establish some common traits in the different ways of loving and, from them, make a classification. In other words, group the different types of lovers into groups, to make a feeling that intrigues us all more understandable.

What Lee did was define three basic love styles. She called them archetypes and established the “primaries” in this category. These are eros, ludus and storge. Then he found that subgroups were formed from these, which he called “secondary archetypes.” He identified each of them with a color, which suggests the sensation that each of these types and subtypes causes. Let’s see.

The first of the love styles: Eros

Lee called Eros to the most essential and primary form of love. He identified it with the color red and indicated that of all the styles of love, this is the most sensory. It is characterized by the search for beauty and sexual activity. Its main characteristic is the passion involved in the feeling.

People who love in a way Eros They usually choose their partner by intuition or chemistry. They don’t reason much about their choices, they just go with the flow. They value their partner a lot, but they do not become obsessed with them. This is one of the styles of self-love of people with great self-confidence.

luduslove as a game

The second of the styles of love, or second primary archetype, is ludus. Lee identified it with the color blue and it corresponds to people who seek not to get deeply involved in romantic relationships.. They are also not interested in projecting themselves into the future, nor do they seek stability as a couple.

People who have a love style ludus They are not dishonest, nor frivolous. They always clearly show the rules of the game. They like to have relationships open and not feel conditioned by a single partner. However, they are sincere people and good companions.

Storgelove as companionship

This love archetype is identified with the color yellow and corresponds to the type of people who look for, above all, a friend in their partner. They greatly appreciate dialogue and tend to fall in love based on conversation and intellectual compatibility. He doesn’t do it right away.

The style store is prudent and seeks long-term commitments. The affinity in tastes is essential for them, as well as affable and affectionate treatment. Physical appearance and sexual desire usually take a back seat for them.

Secondary love archetypes

As we had already mentioned, Lee pointed out that From the primary archetypes, some subgroups emerge: the secondary archetypes.. These are also three: mania, agape and pragma. Let’s see what its characteristics are:

Mania. It is identified with the color purple and corresponds to irrational lovers. They become obsessed with their partner and do not mind forcing the relationship when the other person does not fully reciprocate. These people are afraid of loneliness and abandonment, which is why they are very jealous.Agape. It corresponds to altruistic love and is identified with the color orange. It represents people who love with extreme generosity and kindness. They are happier giving than receiving. An agape type person is capable of giving up his or her own interests for the benefit of the loved one.Pragma. It is identified with the color green and is considered ideal love. It is the love of those who have their feet firmly planted on the ground and choose their partner based on practical affinities. They know how to accept the other as they are, and they do not idealize the relationship but rather build it.

Finally, it is important to mention that John Alan Lee noted that people and lovers can move from one archetype to another over time. However, one of the styles of love will predominate in each person, since this is part of their temperament.

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