Open your eyes! A love that is begged is not love

Love should be reciprocal, it should never be begged. Demanding something that does not come naturally can be very dangerous for self-esteem and mental stability. We reflect on it below.

The love that is begged is not love, it is a lack of dignity, of self-respect. Because when you really love someone, you take care of them and avoid pain if you can, but you don’t cause it or create it.

That’s why, If you do not take care of those “false loves”, if you do not avoid pain, you are not loving yourself.. In this sense, doing so is the first step to living love fully, to avoid falling into manipulation, abuse or victimization. Probably in that situation we think and feel that suffering is inevitable, but it is not true.

Any human being is capable of overcoming himself, of making it impossible for his feelings to be taken advantage of, and of assessing how a relationship does not deserve us because it does not offer us any happiness, joy, or growth.

The duel for loving someone who doesn’t love you

Realize and Saying goodbye to a love that does not love us and that does not show us attention or affection requires that we respect our time of mourning.. A mourning that in itself requires a space for understanding what has happened to us.

Grief for love needs reflection and overcoming, because the anguish of realizing that someone doesn’t love us makes us feel like something is eating us up inside. We feel that that “no love” He has betrayed our feelings and laughed at our ability to love.

Read Also: Maturing is seeing love in people's souls

You have to allow yourself time to get angry, to deny reality, to fantasize. Also to be horrified, to break down, to ignore and know the parts that have been broken and those that are still intact, to recompose the found feelings, etc.

All this is essential to love ourselves, to feel important and value ourselves. After all, When you leave a “not love” behind, a process of emotional freedom begins which is framed in well-being by saying goodbye to pain.

Lack of interest kills affection

Love must be shown, not begged. To do so is to subject our capacity to love to the worst of executioners: indifference. Indifference lives off the imbalance in a relationship and is sustained thanks to the weakness of the foundations.

There is nothing better than continued displays of disinterest to begin to open our eyes when we felt forced to close them.

Then we realize that not everything “love” It is true love, which is not always “want” obtains reciprocity and that To be happy as a couple it is necessary for both members to laugh together, be accomplices and good lovers.

Only in the absence of lies, excuses and disinterest can a love be created that essentially bases its freedom on healthy behaviors and not on submission. We deserve that relationship that, having the freedom to choose, is close.is based on appreciation, shared time and thoughts of mutual affection.

It is necessary to nourish our self-esteem, love ourselves well

No one can make you unhappy without your consent. To build a happy relationship, you have to care, love and value yourself. That is, we must show each other that we love each other every day.

Once we achieve this we will be in a position to not look for anyone who does not miss us. and do not show interest, do not surrender to the emotional executioner of indifference that tries to subdue us with ignored messages or unfounded silences.

Read Also: 5 tips to increase emotional intimacy in your relationships

It doesn’t matter what loves disappoint us, it doesn’t matter if we feel like we are next to the love of our life or if we don’t believe in eternal loves. True and indispensable love is love for oneself and it will be from this feeling that we can separate and assert what we deserve and what we do not deserve.

Images courtesy of Benjamin Lacombe