5 tips to increase emotional intimacy in your relationships

Emotional intimacy is a feeling of closeness to another person, a real two-way sense based on empathy. When we maintain an emotionally intimate relationship we can share personal feelings without feeling judged, unaccepted or uncomfortable for not doing or thinking what is supposed to be right.

This type of intimacy is typical of true friendship, and should be present in every personal relationship that aspires to be authentic, combined with the rest of the characteristics of each specific relationship.

Emotional intimacy can exist between friends, in family relationships, and in romantic relationships. Some people even feel emotional intimacy with their pet.

The feeling of shared intimacy is important for both physical and mental health.

Increase emotional intimacy in 5 steps

Emotional intimacy is important in relationships, but sometimes it is difficult to feel close or intimate with those with whom we are supposed to have this intimacy. The following tips will help you connect more deeply with the important people in your life.

1 – Find out why you keep people away from you

Do you know why you keep people away from you emotionally? There is some reason why you keep people away and why you don’t have intimacy. It could be something that has caused you to distrust people or a disappointment from the past. Maybe it’s that you grew up in an environment where intimacy was conspicuous by its absence or that you developed a cynical personality towards others.

Whatever the reason, you will have to discover it in order to continue. There may be real reasons for not wanting to be emotionally intimate with someone. In that case, do not continue. But there may be other hidden reasons that have nothing to do with it and that may be hindering your personal relationships.

2 – Little by little, increase physical contact

Emotional intimacy has an important physical component in any type of relationship.. Observe your relationships and the relationships of the people around you. People with strong emotional intimacy touch each other. However, when this type of intimacy does not exist, there is hardly any physical contact.

To gradually increase emotional intimacy, it is necessary to start touching each other, to regain trust.. And that contact has to be sincere, not forced. It has to be done little by little, because when intimacy has been lost or a wall has been put up, it is very difficult to overcome it.

3 – Understand the difference between physical and emotional intimacy

Prolific romance writer Barbara Cartland once wrote: “Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy, in women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.” What truth is there in this?

Maybe it’s the fact that men can often tune out their feelings and feel like sex is just sex, while women can feel like sex is a bridge to greater intimacy.

Of course this is not an absolute general rule, but it helps us to see how Physical and sexual intimacy can be understood from two points of view. In any case, It is a mistake to assume that physical intimacy will inevitably lead to emotional intimacy, especially if it is not accompanied by building relationships outside the physical aspect.

In non-romantic relationships, we can apply the same. That there is contact between people does not imply anything, if this contact is made out of pure obligation or custom. In any case, emotional intimacy is not about being physically close.

The way you relate to others also determines levels of intimacy.

4 – Share with others, little by little

Another aspect that is necessary to work on little by little with others refers to sharing with them our feelings, ideas, desires, hopes or frustrations. This is how people begin to truly know each other, opening up little by little.

On the contrary, if you launch all your personal speeches at once, it is easy for the other person to shut down and withdraw, especially if you focus on the negative.

A good way to start is to share what you think about something specific at the right time.

Get into the habit of telling people how you feel about things, what you think, what you hope… little by little and at the right time.

5 – Don’t force things

We said at the beginning that emotional intimacy is a two-way street. If you try to force the issue, you may find yourself in a sticky situation. Emotional intimacy must be allowed to evolve naturally.

You also have to know how to leave in time or slow down when necessary. Don’t demand too much from the other person if you don’t want to ruin everything.