Maturing is seeing love in people’s souls

As we mature, many of our beliefs change, including our perspective on love. Maturing involves understanding love in another way, deeper and sometimes simpler. Mature love responds to an intense need whose satisfaction takes a long time of growth.

Each of us has a concept of what love represents, what is really important and what is expected in a relationship. In this process Preconceived ideas and personal beliefs have a fundamental weight in our way of experiencing love.

There are two kinds of love, adult love or marital love which is described as a loving friendship that includes affection, trust, respect, loyalty and intimate knowledge of each other. And passionate or infantile love, which is a wild emotional state, of confusion of feelings and emotions such as tenderness, sexuality, joy, pain, anxiety and jealousy. Studies say that this love is limited from 6 to 30 months, with the possibility of resurfacing sometimes.

Time is that cotton test that teaches us to see with the eyes of the heart and appreciate what is authentic. This is where the experiences They bring us closer to adult love, making us feel freer to express our feelings and be able to recognize their deepest states in others. Thus, we manage to see through more eyes than our own.

adult love

A fundamental concept in adults and in love is autonomy. It may seem like a contradiction to talk about the union of two souls and talk about autonomy, but autonomy and self-esteem are inseparable. Autonomous individuals understand that others do not exist only to satisfy their needs.: They know that no matter how much love and understanding exists between two people, each one is ultimately responsible for themselves, each one is responsible for their happiness.

As we mature we give a fairer value to each of the things we experience, appreciating the essence of the other and accepting it with its virtues and defects. Adult love teaches life lessons, valuing the essence of the person. On the other hand, selfish and infantile love seeks to hurt, locate or dislodge the other person.

Loving satisfies a longing, a desire to lavish tenderness. Being loved fills another need: the individual desire to be loved and appreciated. If loving constitutes a special kind of fulfillment; Being loved is the reward given. The principles that explain how we choose our partners are based on the interaction between one person’s characteristics and the other’s appreciation of those traits.

Loving and being loved is not the only pleasure within the relationship of a mature couple, There is also satisfaction in protecting, helping and guiding others.while feeling security and confidence.

Why do we live as a couple?

In the last 10 years, a profile of normal development in love from adolescence to maturity has been drawn, which describes a typical development process. In this profile it is observed that In the transition of maturity we become deeply committed to the important aspects of life, like love, separating ourselves from previous influences.

It is at this stage where we feel most prepared to commit to an intimate relationship with another person, formalize the relationship, live together, and get married. People pair up out of a need for security, self-affirmation, by moving away from our primary home and by the need to achieve a vital objective such as loving and being loved.

The vast majority of relationship problems usually come from inflexible romantic demands about love and the couple. that are very far from the foundations based on maturity and objectivity. These distorted ideas of passionate or infantile love can endanger even couples who complement each other very well.

In short, adult love is nourished by shared experiences, despite their internal conflicts and dangers. The true wisdom of this love lies in its own evolution, despite the fissures and wounds typical of emotional relationships.

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