Now I just want peace of mind, what is behind this feeling?

“Now I just want peace of mind.” Many of us, at some point in our lives, have said this to ourselves almost as an exclamation, in the middle of a sigh and longing, indeed, for a bit of existential calm. Being calm is, after all, that necessary aspiration when we have been dealing with stress, worries and times of chaos for some time.

Publilio Syrus, a Latin writer from ancient Rome, said that when a sea is calm, everyone knows how to steer a ship. It’s true, In those times when everything seems to happen in harmony, peace and calm, we have the feeling that everything is under our control and that makes us feel safe. With your feet on the ground and your mind balanced and fixed on the horizon.

However, In everyday life there are many things that make us lose that stability and peace.. Sometimes, relationships are excessively complicated. Other times, work brings with it an excess of worries, fears and anxieties. The social context that surrounds us also saturates us with an excess of noise and deep uncertainties.

We have all, at some point, aspired to have peace of mind. However, that dimension is not found, it is something that is cultivated slowly and intentionally. We analyze it below.

Why now I just want peace of mind?

Some of us work in search of a dreamed and longed-for dimension: happiness.. This emotion is projected in a series of areas that, in our opinion, it is enough to make them ours to immediately experience that pleasant and effusive sensation. Love and passion, for example, are common horizons.

As are also owning certain material goods (houses, cars, mobile phones, etc.). Having success, a good job and a good social network of friends and acquaintances should give us large doses of what we call happiness. However, in reality the pieces do not fit together in such a simple way. In fact, at many times, More than longing for happiness, what we long for is to be calm.

But why? What happens so that, at a given moment, we tell a friend that “Now I just want peace of mind”? In many cases what there is is disappointment. In the end, we discovered that the formula to be happy that they had sold us does not work and that perhaps, it is necessary to rethink other approaches.

The external instability that breaks my calm

The word “calm” comes from the Greek word kaumawhich means heat. It refers to that midday sun with which nature relaxes and remains still because the temperature is higher. In some way, the need to find internal balance in an adverse context is evident, to put into practice a more adjusted behavior that allows us to protect ourselves from an external factor.

If we long for calm it is because we are or have been in a stressful circumstance. If we seek balance it is because we have lost stability as a result of a series of complicated experiences.. In this way, if we aspire to that mental and emotional stability it is because we have discovered that perhaps happiness is internal harmony and not external conquest.

The difficulty of having peace of mind in a world that disappoints

Epictetus said in his Manual for life that people have a defect: we insist on wanting life to fit our desires. That mental focus is the seed of restlessness and also unhappiness. Thus, throughout our existence We often find ourselves with fragments of a world that does not fit our schemes, desires and expectations..

So certain people act contrary to what we expect, breaking our emotional tranquility. It also brings nervousness, disappointment and even indignation that our efforts are not rewarded, that this reality is essentially too unfair at times, chaotic at certain times, and stressful at many times.

In this way, when we say to ourselves what I just want now is peace of mind, it is almost like a lament of tiredness and indignation. However, as the cognitive psychotherapist Aaron Beck pointed out to us, emotional balance comes when we are able to accept setbacks.. Assuming that life is sometimes meaningless and fallible is a way to find peace of mind.

Now I just want peace of mind, how can I achieve it?

The National Taiwan University has a study that is worth taking into account. Eastern culture cultivates another perception of happiness that is very different from that of the Western world.. For Asians, well-being is not about experiencing intense emotions. Factors such as passion, success or the accumulation of material goods are not an absolute promise with which to achieve happiness.

For them, Happiness is knowing how to be calm, have balance and above all, peace of mind. It is in that internal harmony where the person realizes himself, where things are seen more clearly. It is also that internal scenario from which daily difficulties are better faced and the good things that life brings are appreciated. How then to achieve that psychological state? These would be some simple keys:

Prioritize. Clarify what is a priority in your life and what is secondary.Focus your mind on the here and now. Yesterday no longer exists, tomorrow has not yet happened.If something worries you, resolve it. Worrying implies taking care.Transform your negative thoughts into useful thoughts. Discard what doesn’t make sense and replace it with more hopeful ideas.Surround yourself with people who calm you down, balance and positivity. Change what you don’t like and accept what you can’t change.

In conclusion, In an increasingly complex world, cultivating inner peace is a tool of power and transformation. Let’s put it into practice.

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