My son doesn’t want to go to school: why and what do I do?

Changes are usually scary, and even for the little ones.. That a little one doesn’t want to go to class from time to time is not a problem. However, when this happens very frequently, if not every day, it is essential to detect what is happening.

There are many reasons why a child may prefer to stay home, such as wanting to take a day off to recharge. Also keep in mind that school rejection can be related to anxiety. Studies indicate that intense school fears can affect up to 18% of children between 3 and 14 years old..

If you are going through these types of situations in your home, in this article you will find a guide to know what to do. Let’s dig deeper.

If your child went to school happy and from one day to the next he doesn’t want to go, it’s because something has happened to him.

My son doesn’t want to go to school: why?

There are multiple reasons why your child does not want to go to school. This type of rejection is a complex problem that has its roots in different causes:

Fear of separating from their parents.Fear of various school-related events such as being hit by a classmate, being teased, being criticized in class, speaking in front of the class, being sent to the principal, taking exams, undressing at sports time; Possible diagnosis of specific or social phobia. Problems of generalized anxiety or depression.

If your child doesn’t want to go to school, from one day to the next, after having been happily attending school, it is a sign that something has happened to him. If his refusal to attend comes right after the holidays, it is understandable that he does not want to attend because at home he is happy with his toys and without the responsibilities of doing schoolwork.

Another reason that can lead to school rejection is a change at home, in the family dynamic. A divorce, lack of affection or conflicts between parents can generate a natural feeling of insecurity in the child.

For example, if one of the parents looked for him when leaving, but it will no longer happen, he can motivate the child not to want to go so as not to feel the emotional discomfort caused by that absence that he will observe at the end of the day.

Another cause could be a health problem. Perhaps the problem begins to manifest itself through this rejection. And we have left the harassment for last. UNESCO studies (2019) indicate that almost one in three (32%) children around the world has been a victim of bullying on a one-off basis and 1 in 13 (7.3%) would have been a victim of bullying on an ongoing basis. .

How to find out the reasons why your child does not want to go to school

Below, you will find some questions that can help you identify the reasons why your child does not want to go to school.

Have you had any problems at school? Find out if your child has had any problems at school with their teachers or classmates.At what point did you stop wanting to go to school? Think a little about when your child started not wanting to go to school. This will be of great help to you to investigate if something happened to him.Have there been changes in the family environment? Not wanting to go to school is very common in first-born children, especially when a baby has been born and they see how he must go to school, while his mother is left to take care of the youngest child.Does it only happen to my son? Find out from other parents if their children don’t want to go to school either. If so, it may be due to a conflict with a teacher or classmate.Do you have any medical or psychological problems? Try to rule out any medical or mental problem. Keep in mind if your child has had other symptoms lately and, if so, consult with her doctor or psychologist.

What can you do if your child doesn’t want to go to school?

If your child has this problem, don’t worry, here we will tell you what to do.

1. Communicate with your child

Talk openly with your child to help them with school problems they may be having.. It is crucial that he feels comfortable with you so that he can talk more openly and calmly about what is happening to him. When talking, he uses a soft and calm tone of voice, even if you get angry. Listen to him attentively and actively.

2. Observe their behavior

If you notice that your child has trouble leaving the house and visiting other places, then the problem might not be at school but with him. If he doesn’t want to go to school and cries to stay at grandma’s house, then perhaps your child is an insecure and fearful child. Use some strategies to make him a self-confident child.

3. Validate your emotions

When your child tells you that he doesn’t want to go to school, instead of getting angry and scolding him, validates what he says and what he feels. For example, say, “I know you’re feeling a little (sad, angry, etc.) and that’s okay, but when you get to class you’ll see that everything will be okay.”

Help him name his feelings, even though it is difficult. For this reason, it is necessary that you work with your child on his emotional agility so that he has the necessary strategies to tell you what he feels.

4. Talk to your teachers

Contact your child’s teachers and Ask them how they are doing, if they get along with their classmates, or if something unusual has happened. They can give you information to identify the reasons why your child does not want to attend school. It is important that you make sure that the school environment is suitable for your child’s learning; if he is safe and does not trigger negative emotions such as stress or anxiety.

5. Motivate him to learn

Maybe your child doesn’t want to go to school because he or she isn’t motivated to learn. In this case, carry out learning activities that include the five “Cs”:

Context. It helps the child connect learning with previous experiences and knowledge, so that he can articulate them with the reality in which he is living. This motivates the child because it allows him to understand the reality in which he operates.Creativity. Stimulates creative resolution of real and meaningful problems. This process is motivating because it shows the child the applicability of what she learns and the usefulness of going to school.Curiosity. Awaken the child’s interest in what he is learning. This factor is an excellent mobilizer for children’s search for knowledge and learning, since concerns drive them to seek answers.Control. Provide your child with the opportunity to participate in what he or she is learning and to choose how to do so. With this you help the child develop autonomy and reinforce the ability to manage their own learning processes.Collaboration. To motivate your child to learn, it is important that you create a space for cooperation, interaction and exchange. Teamwork makes the child feel accompanied and supported in the process.

Motivating children to learn can increase their involvement and commitment in school.

6. Pay attention to their games and drawings

In games and children’s drawings reflect the reality they are living. Observe him when he plays with dolls, listen to the dialogues and pay attention to the situation that he has reproduced.

Allow him to express himself freely through drawing, Then see if there is anything that might tell you why he doesn’t want to go to school.

7. Ask for professional help

If the situation with your child continues to happen and you cannot find answers, you need to request the help of a professional.

In closing, if your child does not want to go to school, do not let the situation go unnoticed. Request the intervention of the professionals who work at your child’s schoolsince they are there to assist you and to guarantee the healthy development of your little one.

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