Men’s circles: benefits of an increasingly common practice

Men’s circles are a practice recovered from antiquity with great psychological benefits. In the past, it was common to gather around a campfire to share stories, solve problems, find advice, learn, vent fears, etc. Today, there are many men who find in these dynamics a safe space where they can listen and be heard for the first time.

Some people may find it strange and even unusual that a group of complete strangers gather in a room or a corner of the woods to find support., to voice intimacies, frustrations and doubts. It is even more so for the male gender, little given (on average) to sharing deeper and, above all, emotional aspects with other men.

We live in a society where masculinity, in capital letters, has fulfilled a very rigid hegemonic model for decades. The construction of masculine identity was almost like a mold to which everyone had to conform strictly and without question. In that inflexible scheme there was no room for doubts, for emotions and, even less, for vulnerabilities.

Michael Kimmel, founder and director of the ‘Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities’ at Stony Brook University in New York, points out that, fortunately, all this is changing.. Now we can talk about more than one type of masculinitythe range is expanded to include any type of identity, expression and need.

One way to delve deeper into this and other aspects is through men’s circles.

Men’s circles, what are they and what are they for?

Every year, the National Institute of Statistics (INE) offers us data on suicide that should invite us to reflect. One of them is the following: The number of suicides among men is triple that of women. In Spain, for example, 75% of people who decided to take their own lives were men. The same thing happens in other countries, showing us that when it comes to gender, it seems that they are the ones who opt for the most dramatic way out of all.

Now, from the World Health Organization (WHO) and in its report on suicide prevention, they tell us that there is no explanation as to why this happens. We do not know what the causes are, but we are clear that we lack resources. Thus, experts on the subject such as Dr. Brené Brown, research professor at the University of Houston, indicate that Men, in general, tend to feel high pressure about what is expected of them.

Being a man has always been synonymous with power, resolution, dominance, self-control and success. Realities such as unemployment, lack of prospects, identity problems, inability to manage failures, etc., often give rise to unfathomable voids. In most cases, The gender roles to which they are usually exposed leaves them isolated. It subjects them to a reality where there is no emotional honesty, where vulnerability transforms into anger and, from there, into mental health problems.

Men’s circles, connection spaces

Men’s circles stand today as an ideal resource to transform and cleanse the concept of masculinity.. In these spaces, groups of men who do not know each other, of various ages and social origins, gather. Thus, if there is one thing that most of us know, it is that, sometimes, talking to a complete stranger allows us to communicate and put out loud aspects that we would not share with family or even friends.

In a society so accustomed to judging or pointing out certain behaviors and words, men very often feel this weight. A burden that, in addition, is given in most cases through education, where they are encouraged to be strong, to hide feelings. In men’s circles, a safe space is therefore created in which to open up, be honest, and find validation and support from other men.

Purpose of these meetings and dynamics

The purpose of men’s circles is as positive as it is challenging. The goal is to empower men to feel emotionally mature, powerful and compassionate enough to heal their own wounds and help others.. It is a firm commitment to one’s own personal development.

The dynamics and benefits that each of them will find in these circles are the following:

To be listened to by other men with respect and closeness, without any judgment being passed.
Learn to express and communicate emotions, feelings, fears and painful experiences. Work on your own identity, whatever it may be. Learn to ask for help and advice. Form a brotherhood of support. Learn to listen compassionately. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.Being able to develop greater self-confidence.Clarify vital purposes. Develop a firm commitment to oneself and others. Be responsible, respectful and honest with your own emotions and needs. Work and update aspects related to masculinity.

Where are men’s circles located?