May I speak to you on behalf of a ‘dumb’ child?

“A 5-year-old boy. In 2 damn hours he learned the letter ‘B’, so we moved on to ‘C’ and, after half an hour, he already forgot the ‘B’. Is it stupid? Or do you need to go to the doctor?

I see these messages on social media and I hear them in kindergarten. And I can’t just shut up. Not because I am a child psychologist or an experienced educator. I’m not even an experienced mother: my son is not even 2 years old! But everything is much simpler than it seems. I myself was this ‘silly child’.

My name is Asya Yavits, I have an honest and fun channel on the messaging service. telegram called “Days of a Bad Mother” and, specifically for readers of the awesome.clubI want to speak on behalf of all children considered to be dumb.

At the end of freshman year, my mother was called into school “for a talk”. The day before, each child had brought their favorite book to talk about. A girl brought The Little Prince. An outstanding student came with Jules Verne. And I took drawings of fairies to color. There was text! Well, something like: “She is the fairy Flora”. Or “Paint the fairy Fauna and the fairy Flora. What beautiful dresses they have.” But my teacher, for some reason, didn’t like it.

And it wasn’t easy for my mother. She had to stop believing in her fantastic mothering skills as an educator. What could you do, if you have a son who puts the chess pieces in the squares at 8 months, at 1 year and 5 months he recites poems and at 2 years old he already reads by himself, but your next daughter only starts to walk at 2 years old and , at 5, use chess pieces and books as dolls?

With Mathematics, it was even worse. My father, at the end of my third year, tried to explain for 3 hours that when a number is transferred from one part of the equation to another, it changes sign. But I survived it, even though my brain wouldn’t accept these logical explanations.

They took me to psychologists, showed some cards, gave me pills. Not only was I stupid, but I also sucked my thumb until I was 7 and played with my belly button. The doctors prescribed a pile of medication. A very experienced doctor, seeing one of these lists of medications, said they were a perfect recipe for “psychiatric sauce vegetables,” whatever that means. But he added that I would stop using the chess pieces as dolls.

Why do I say all this? It’s just that I have 2 diplomas and I graduated in Economics and Literature. In 3rd grade, I read better than all my classmates. In the 6th, I got the 3rd place in tests of selectivity in Mathematics among the students of the best school. It must have been the pills… that I regularly dumped in the trash.

How did it all happen? By itself. When the time was right, I was able to develop. Well, the reading didn’t come alone. But my parents never yelled at me or hit me.

After my mother had a conversation at school about the coloring book, she decided not to listen to the psychologists anymore, and for the whole summer I had to read a page aloud from a children’s book every day.

During the fall, my mother read me several books before bed. In addition to reading, she also had a lot of ‘unimportant’ matters, like cooking dinner, cleaning the house, preparing for a conference the next day. That’s why she started ‘not having time’ to read to me. And, of course, it was hard to go to bed and leave my favorite character crying alone in a dark park, not knowing what was going to happen next! So I had to start reading on my own.

But then Mom made time again to read them the stories. But by then, I was already a pretty good reader. Unaware of this, she read to me. Of course, I didn’t really like hearing the story I’d just read, but how could I confess to Mom that I’d learned to read?

One day, she found me doing this shameful thing, but he didn’t stop reading aloud to me, he just turned to the next page.

And with Mathematics it was even easier. In eighth grade, I had a great teacher who not only explained well, but was an interesting and knowledgeable person. At first it took me 3 hours to do my homework. Then, without realizing it, I understood that I was already doing well in the subject. It was great.

So if you’re the parent of a ‘stupid’ child who doesn’t want to make his brain work, I ask you to leave her alone. Give it time. Long time. Know what your motivation is. Find a good teacher. Not someone who just demands it, but someone who makes the topic interesting for her. In this way, the child will be able to overcome difficulties and develop.

Get rid of those stereotypes like “at your age, I knew a lot more”. Try to understand the child’s motivations and ways to create new stimuli. Think of a problem like “Mary had 3 apples and Peter gave her one more. How many does she have now?” Maybe your child gets lost in the interpretations. Play with him by questioning, for example: who was Pedro or, if he had a stand at the fair an apple plantation to give one more to Maria. Perhaps, the problem of “how many do you have now” is not so important to him. But, when the time comes, he will start to wonder about it. But if you don’t ask yourself, it’s also possible to be happy, right?”