Marriage or free union: which is better?

When a couple decides to move to the next level, they often face a dilemma: marriage or common law? Of course, those who are very attached to religious values ​​have nothing to decide, since their beliefs have an answer to that question. The less religious and the skeptics do tend to weigh the two alternatives.

Sometimes, the dilemma between marriage or free union is approached from the most peripheral and trivialized. In reality, it is not about choosing between signing or not signing papers, but about structure a particular type of commitment between two persons who love each other and have decided to live together.

Nor is it about “pleasing” society or conventions, but rather setting parameters for coexistence.. The choice between marriage or common law will, to a large extent, shape the type of relationship, and will also have different legal effects and on the children. How to approach that decision?

Marriage or free union?

Faced with the dilemma between marriage or free union, the first thing is to point out the differences between these two types of union. Marriage has more defined parameters. The religious figure or the judge expressly points out the commitments to which the two people who join are subject..

Generally speaking, marriage means a promise of fidelity and loyalty, basically. Both commit, religiously or civilly, not to exceed certain limits. In the same way, in religious marriage there is usually a definitive promise: “until death do us part.”

In civil unions, formulas that refer to the intention of both parties to give permanence to the bond are also common. In a world as changing as the one we are in, That commitment, explicit or implicit, to maintain the union indefinitely is perhaps what is most uncomfortable to many couples.

In the free union, meanwhile, the existence of imprecise parameters usually prevails. The most common thing is that the couple has more expectations what commitments. The union actually takes place and both are open “to see what happens.” The burdens are accommodated along the way, depending on the way the relationship flows.

Advantages and disadvantages of marriage

Precisely because of the explicitness and punctuality of the commitment, those who get married are stepping on firmer ground. They have formally declared their willingness to comply with agreements and are betting on the stability of the union. In that sense, marriage protects, to a certain extent, from uncertainty.

In marriage, an idea of ​​love is assumed, or should be assumed, that does not rest only on the liveliness of the feeling, but on the decision of those involved. That is The union is not only based on mutual affection, but to this is added a rational determination of the will.

On the other hand, many couples, especially in current times, They point out that this kind of “certainty” regarding the union takes away its charm.. In fact, statistics indicate that in many places there are a greater number of separations among those who marry than among those who live in a common law union. Perhaps this is because, in the end, sentimental events take precedence over the decision.

Advantages and disadvantages of free union

Free union, as its name suggests, provides a much broader framework, at least in principle. It is a space where “anything can happen” and, for this reason, the absence of certainties helps to give greater strength to mutual enthusiasm.. Neither one nor the other is sure that the relationship will last and this can motivate them to cultivate it more carefully.

In addition, In a free union there is implicitly the possibility of structuring and restructuring agreements and parameters. Although this can also happen in a marriage, cohabitation actually tolerates changes more easily. It also makes breaking the commitment much easier, from a formal point of view.

On the other hand, lack of definition can lead to misunderstandings, levity and, sometimes, a lack of stability. In the early stages this can be stimulating, but when love stops sending butterflies flying in your stomach, things can get complicated.

Finally, what determines the success of a couple’s union is not in itself the decision between marriage or free union, but rather many other factors. Even so, the issue would have to be addressed before taking one option or another. Candor is essential. Also enough realism to know that both types of union will require concessions and will have difficulties.

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