Male sensitivity: beyond the myths

The world is full of myths. And male sensitivity is an important source of them. However, currently, this topic has acquired greater interest from many people, since it is observed from a different perspective and much more free of false beliefs.

Now, before continuing, we would like to clarify that in these lines we do not intend to enter into a debate about cultural relativism and what are the most accepted stereotypes in each culture. What we intend is to highlight the current transformation of the construct of masculinity.

During the last years, The masculine has been progressively associated with sensitivity, especially in certain aspects. This has meant a change in a wide variety of myths in some Western cultures. After all, sensitivity is typical of living beings and a man does not have to put aside his masculinity just because he recognizes it and accepts it as his own.

Let’s take a tour of the concept of masculine sensitivity and transcend myths, in order to find another perspective on what is masculine and, at the same time, observe some beliefs that are still maintained in this regard. Let’s dig deeper.

What is male sensitivity?

The Royal Spanish Academy of Language (RAE) defines sensitivity as ‘the faculty of feeling, typical of animated beings‘. So, if we talk about male sensitivity, what do we mean?

To answer this question, it is enough to look at the definition of the RAE: all beings, including man, have the capacity to feel; However, within the framework of certain contexts, beliefs and cultures, man has been stripped of this faculty. As we see, masculinity and the world of the sensitive, of emotions, have not always been able to reconcile each other.

Due to this, throughout history and in general terms, man has been given the role of protector from the execution of one’s own strength, regardless of the environment in which one finds oneself. For example, in various cultures, an identity was also attributed to him in which sexuality and money played a fundamental role as symbols of power. In that context, it was frowned upon for a man to demonstrate his feelings, as it was seen as a sign of weakness.

The novelty is that in some cultures an important change is observed in this regard. More and more men accept and allow their emotional world, their sensitive part. And this is only possible if sensitivity is embraced and the feeling of insecurity is transformed into empowerment.

Therefore, male sensitivity has always existed. It is an innate aspect of the human being, regardless of their gender: we feel to protect ourselves, survive… What has happened is that it has been assigned only to women in many cultural contexts.

Supermacho vs. sensitive man

There are some phrases that become commands if you use them so much throughout your upbringing. and in fundamental schemes for each of us that configure our identity. The problem occurs when they are not true, hold half-truths or are based on erroneous foundations.

Expressions such as “men don’t cry”, “that’s for girls”, “you fight like a woman”, “women are not attracted to good men, they prefer those who make them suffer” or “that doesn’t make a real man”. ” are a good example. Any teaching of this type encourages man to distance himself from his emotional part. and accept as the norm the figure of the strong man without feelings.

In this regard, cognitive psychology has shown us that beliefs are transmitted from generation to generation and that in this process they take root. Psychoanalysis, for its part, has helped us understand that this mythification happens through unconscious mechanisms.

Now, it is important to understand that every man has the freedom to choose other paths and that, of course, he can give more room to his emotional universe. Thus, it would be possible to go from the ‘super-macho’ man to the sensitive man, a ‘new man’ capable of establishing deeper connections with himself, with others and with nature.

So it would be interesting promote the notion that opening oneself to one’s own sensitivity does not make one less of a man. Simply, instead of following culturally established guidelines of manhood, one can be flexible with the emotional sphere and thus enjoy everything that sensitivity can offer.

What characteristics does a sensitive man have?

To speak of a sensitive man, understood from our current culture, would be to speak of a person who presents the following characteristics:

He knows that he has not given up spaces of masculinity.He has an openness that brings him closer to the feminine side. He is oriented towards the other person in his relationships. He is understanding.Value intuition.He does not ignore his feelings. He is spontaneous.Share tastes with girls, without reluctance.He knows that he should not demonstrate his manhood to be “more masculine.”It’s more introspective.He is better able to manage his emotions.

Although it is difficult to break away from social, cultural and family mandates, the possibility is real and exists: the men we call sensitive today They have taken a step further to reconnect with their emotional side.

Now it is worthy of mention that these commands of manhood They are not only imposed by men; Women are also, sometimes, participants in it. For this reason, to break down the barriers that deny the emotional world to men, both men and women must work together and be active participants in this change.

Male sensitivity: benefits

Accepting sensitivity as part of the masculine offers great benefits. Let’s look at some of them:

Empathy. Sensitive men develop a great ability to put themselves in other people’s shoes.Compassion. They understand the suffering of other beings and wish to alleviate it.Spiritual growth. They manage to establish connections with their spiritual world.Self-knowledge. They know each other and know about themselves in greater depth.Self realisation. They can achieve their goals satisfactorily by using their emotional side.Interpersonal intelligence. They forge better relationships with others, as empathy helps them establish stronger connections.

However, it is important to mention that although male sensitivity is increasingly accepted, doing so is not easy for most men.

As Walter Riso suggests in his book male intimacies, There are men who are afraid to cry because they may be labeled homosexual and men who suffer because they cannot get a living and cannot ask for help, since they hold the belief that men never give up.

Therefore, to accept male sensitivity, One of the first steps would be for men themselves to leave their self-demands aside. In this way, it would be easier to modify those virilizing phrases and beliefs that are promulgated as mandates.

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