Making excuses: the tireless habit that defines many people

There are people like that, who have a doctorate in making excuses., people who string together fabulous justifications for every oversight, undone task, failure, stumble, or unfulfilled word. It costs them nothing to resort to flowery pretexts that, in addition to being childish, demonstrate a clear irresponsibility towards their own lives.

The famous French writer Stendhal said that he who excuses himself accuses himself.. It is a great truth, since this type of behavior shows, above all, a type of self-deception with which to safeguard one’s self-esteem or deeper realities that one does not want to assume, such as indecision, insecurity, immaturity or even fear.

We have all known or are close to someone who is used to making excuses for almost every circumstance.. That subtle, but striking art, to avoid any type of responsibility, exhausts and wears out. Something like this generates serious problems at the work, family and, above all, personal level. Having as a partner a person who makes excuses their shields for every difficulty, problem or circumstance can undoubtedly be very harmful.

Understanding what lies behind this type of personality will be of great help to us.. Not only to be able to manage them a little better, but also to encourage, to the extent possible, appropriate strategies so that they are aware of the effect of their behavior.

Making excuses: the art of lying, procrastination and the trapped brain

The habit of making excuses starts in childhood. Already at school we can find more than one boy or girl capable of giving curious excuses to justify why they have not done their homework. At home, they are also agile and witty when they are called out for neglecting their tasks, for avoiding responsibilities, for placing blame on others that is their own. Nobody confronts them and little by little, they make excuses their way of survival.

Almost without realizing it, they become artisans of lies, great procrastinators., of those who leave for next year what they should have done yesterday. In their small universe everything has its justification and if the rest do not understand them, they do not hesitate to resort to anger and reproach, to “It’s just that you don’t trust me,” “it’s just that you never believe me.”

Now, it is necessary to understand a small aspect of those who have a doctorate in the art of making excuses: they are not happy people. They are by no means profiles that feel good about themselves. Whoever resorts to the pretext does so when he feels threatened, when his competence is called into question, when his error, his carelessness, his erratic behavior come to light. The excuse is a defense mechanism, a spring that serves as a shield to cover up weaknesses and inconsistencies.

The excuses that “sick” and limit

Excuses corner the brain in the basement of fear. Thus, those who turn to them for almost every circumstance are limiting their growth, their responsibility with their life and their own human potential. Because The habit of excuses is like a virus that makes a person sick, putting chains on change.to the obligation to take care of herself in a mature way.

«I couldn’t finish the report because my computer was infected with a Trojan», «I didn’t go to the job interview because the train broke down and I couldn’t get there», «I know I told you we would go on that trip but now I have to help my parents»… Behind these and other equally false pretexts lies something more than a lack of honesty.. It is the fear of facing certain realities that one should take care of for one’s own well-being, dignity and happiness.

Make excuses why they do it?

Making excuses is the easiest way to deal with any compromising situation.. If we have forgotten an important appointment, it is always better to blame providence, that car breakdown, that sudden illness that has us in bed.

Let’s see, however, what dimensions specifically trace this behavior:

Better to postpone than to confront (procrastination as a defense mechanism). If something demands a lot of us, if it is going to test us, it is better to leave it for tomorrow. Before facing what makes us feel insecure, the best thing for these people is to postpone it as long as possible (and credible).Safety and comfort before anything else (the fear factor). The person accustomed to making excuses not only lives, but hibernates in his comfort zone. Everything beyond is secondary, as well as threatening.

How to help people to end the habit of excuses?

As we have already seen, the roots of the bad art of making excuses often sink into the heart of fear or insecurity of those who resort to the pretext to safeguard their ego or their comfortable position in the comfort zone. Sometimes, of course, an excuse is nothing more than a lie.a ruinous strategy with which to hide certain realities.

Be that as it may, and even if we ourselves are the ones who sometimes resort to excuses for not making the changes we should, it is appropriate to take certain keys into account. Reflecting on the following points may be helpful in this type of situation..

Aspects to deactivate excuses

Every time we detect that someone gives us an excuse, it is important not to let it pass. The most advisable thing is to confront, to force the person in front of us to be honest, especially with himself. We must show in a respectful way that an excuse is a lie, but a lie that the person tells himself.a —> I didn’t go to that interview because I missed the subway—>I didn’t go to that interview because I wouldn’t know how to handle another rejection.If excuses are your lifesaver, take the plunge and learn to swim. There are many people who resort to the most imaginative justifications for not facing what scares them and which they put off. If someone wants to be respected and, above all, feel good about themselves, they must put aside excuses and simply act, face, resolve, transform…

In conclusion, Although it is evident that we have all used excuses on more than one occasion, we also know what it costs to completely get rid of them.. Let us, therefore, be patient with those who still use them and try to get them to leave them behind as if they were releasing ballast, like someone freeing themselves from a heavy burden.

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