Love yourself to learn to love

Loving oneself is part of a fundamental process in our liveswhich will allow us to love others more honestly.

This process lasts a lifetime, since are many circumstances that continually test us: disappointments, frustrations, mistakes made, goals not achieved, breakups, discouragement. There are endless daily tests we undergo, and we let them influence our perception of our personal worth.

“Love yourself It’s the beginning of an adventure that lasts a lifetime.”

(Oscar Wilde)

Where are we placing our value?

Personal value does not depend on what we achieve or what we have, It depends rather on the attitude with which we face each step we take in life, to come to love ourselves unconditionally.

It is very complicated to give what you don’t have, and If a person does not have love for himself, he will hardly be able to give it to others. You may believe that you are loving others, however you will be continually falling into manipulation, demands and emotional blackmail.

When a person has not learned to love themselves unconditionally, they look for this love outside, in others, making your value dependent on how others treat or value you. In such a way that it is completely exposed to external evaluation. In this way, we are leaving our happiness in other people’s hands instead of taking responsibility for it.

This type of dependency harms us, to the point of begging for love and affection.; drawing attention and emitting pleasing behaviors, to obtain the looks, approach and care of other people. To know if you love yourself, it is important that you ask yourself the question: Does my personal value depend on external causes?

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Learn to take care of yourself and love yourself

In our culture, It is very common for us to give great importance to the external, to what is happening around us to form an impression about ourselves.

Even, The fact of loving oneself is often considered a selfish act. This is a totally wrong belief, since love for other people begins with oneself, in turn forming part of universal love and love for humanity.

The way we take care of ourselves has a lot to do with how we perceive ourselves, and the state of mind we are in. Not taking care of oneself implies aggression and a lack of listening to one’s own needs..

“Taking care of yourself is taking yourself into account. Listen to your own needs. Recognize that we exist and occupy a place in the world, and that we have the right to feel good, to seek our well-being in all areas of our existence.”

-Fina Sanz-

Incorporating mutual care into our lives allows us to attend to our needs, without putting those of others above them, for this it is essential to know them and investigate them. What it would mean to learn to take care of yourself.

Accepting yourself: an act of compassion

Accepting what we are means accepting ourselves with our flaws, discovering our skills and limits, abilities, virtues and resources we have. Admitting, in short, the group that we make up from a global and profound perspective. Better self-knowledge implies greater understanding.

When we pay attention to and understand ourselves, we are able to not judge or blame ourselves for the mistakes we may have made; so that we embark on a path towards acceptance of who we are.

Through acceptance we approach unconditional love, as an act of compassion and understanding towards who we are. Without our own demands limiting our ability to love ourselves, and consequently love others.

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Being so, in an honest way, We will be able to establish relationships that are not based on the search for recognition. By loving ourselves, we can truly surrender to the act of being able to love other people also in a compassionate way through acceptance.

“Love unconditionally, don’t ask for anything in return. You will receive a lot without having to ask for it – you will turn it into something else – but do not be a beggar. In love be an emperor. He just gives and watches what happens: you will receive a thousand times more. But you have to learn the trick. Otherwise you will continue to be a miser; You will give a little and expect to receive something, and that waiting and that expectation will destroy all the beauty of your actions.”

-Osho-

Loving each other does not depend on how much they love you

As has been discussed throughout the article, in some way, we have been taught to take the external too seriously in order to love ourselves. However, it is important to know that Neither our achievements nor our success in life should determine whether we love ourselves more or less.. Love for oneself is independent of the money we can amass, or the job we have.

Loving yourself depends on respecting yourself, understanding yourself, understanding yourself and forgiving yourself. Learning every day from our mistakes will help us connect with our interior and enrich ourselves. Once we love ourselves in a healthy way, we will be prepared to love others. Because if this is not so, We run the risk of falling into dependency relationships and needing another person to be happy..

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Howard Gardner, father of the theory of Multiple Intelligences, assures that one of the intelligences we enjoy is Intrapersonal Intelligence. It is an intelligence that allows us to know ourselves and delve into our feelings and emotions.. Thanks to this type of introspective intelligence we can understand and understand each other. Therefore, fostering this intelligence in us will be of great benefit to learn to love ourselves. Because by loving ourselves in a healthy way, we learn to love others without dependencies or demands.