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Love is not enough in a relationship

Love is not enough for a relationship to work. To be a couple you need pillars that allow you to overcome difficulties and enrich yourself on that journey between two.

Love is not enough in a relationship. Loving a lot or feeling a blind passion for the other does not save the bond from the crises or challenges that arise on the journey of life. I wish that emotional correspondence would make difficult things easy, dissolve the problems of coexistence and communication and stand as the balm for every unmet need.

There are those who use the metaphor of spaceships to explain what emotional relationships are like. Love is like that energy that acts as fuel for NASA rockets or aircraft to leave Earth’s soil and head into space. However, once outside the atmosphere and the influence of gravitational force, those engines that propelled it are no longer so decisive.

At that stage of the journey, the wisdom, knowledge and good work of space engineers is everything. Somehow, We are all like little astronauts orbiting around relationships that we don’t always know how to attend to. for them to be successful.

“The ability to laugh together is love”.

-Françoise Sagan-

Why is love not enough in a relationship?

Woody Allen said that the best phrases that can be said to us in our lives are “I love you” and “it’s kind.” If there is something that offers us absolute happiness, it is knowing that we are reciprocated, that the person we love loves us too.. Many times—especially when we are very young—we take for granted that this is where everything begins and ends.

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If love is mutual, nothing can stop us. We believe we are invincible, the perfect and ideal couple. who, like any Disney movie, will be happy until the end of time and beyond. However, personality clashes soon begin. The “it’s just that you only think about yourself” or “it’s that only what you like counts here and that’s it” appear on the least expected day.

What had started as a joint trip to the stars sometimes ends with a saying that “you are from Jupiter and I am from Saturn”, two people who, even though they love the infinite, cannot live together. Because as studies by John Gottman and UC Berkeley psychobiology professor Robert Levenson point out, There are many causes behind the breakup of a relationship, but lack of love is not the most common.

Below, we analyze part of these causes of why love is not enough in a relationship.

You love me, but you don’t put yourself in my place

Love goes beyond a simple correspondence of affections and desires. What should truly build love is the ability to understand the other’s perspective, as well as connect with their needs and not just your own.

The ability to walk in other people’s shoes and see everything with greater perspective allows us to build healthier relationships.

Intimacy and emotional security, the glue of happy relationships

Love is not enough in a relationship because we must become good craftsmen of emotions too.

This involves knowing how to build a bond governed by intimacy and emotional security. A relationship in which trust is a central axis.

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Factors such as self-esteem, identity and personal growth are not only safeguarded, but enhanced. Authentic love knows how to create alliances through enriching, respectful and committed emotions.

Love is not enough in a relationship if there is no good communication

Without good communication there is no harmony or harmony. The smallest problems will be walls and the differences like gaps that open to create great distances.

Love is not enough in a relationship if agreements cannot be reached, if there is not that dialectical complicity in which, sometimes, early morning finds us having an interesting conversation in bed.

Thus, studies such as those carried out at the University of Georgia tell us that Good communication is an indicator of success in couple satisfaction. Let’s keep it in mind.

Laugh together, make plans together, be our daily refuge

Being a couple is also being each other’s best friend. Love is not enough in a relationship if there is no complicit laughter, the desire to place plans on the horizon and to share the same vital goals.

On the other hand, The loved one should always be that figure to turn to with any problem, concern, fear or need. If our partner is not our best refuge from day to day, that person cannot be trusted.

Love is the fuel that keeps the connection with our partner burning. However, that emotion must be completed with many gadgets, with behaviors, actions, commitments, social and emotional skills. Everyone can love, but not everyone is capable of giving meaning and significance to love.

Perseverance, taking care of the little things so that the big things continue

Love is not just a feeling. For this dimension to have meaning, it must be complemented with the perseverance of daily work. What you love must be taken care of and this is shown in the little things. Interest in others, in what they do, like, dream or desire is an example of this.

To love is to worry, to know if your day has gone well, to ask ourselves what we can do to make you feel better…

Emotional relationships are authentic crafts in which it is required to be skilled in multiple subjects. We can all develop them, we all deserve to be loved and love in the best way, the one that allows us to travel like true astronauts to conquer new worlds as two united in a common project.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Gottman, J.M., & Gottman, J.S. (2015). Gottman couple therapy. Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy, 5th Ed. The Guilford PressHarley, Willard F. (2001). His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage, Fifteenth Anniversary Edition. Revell Publishing.Lavner, JA, Karney, BR, & Bradbury, TN (2016). Does Couples’ Communication Predict Marital Satisfaction, or Does Marital Satisfaction Predict Communication?. Journal of marriage and the family, 78(3), 680–694. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12301Schoebi, Dominik & Randall, Ashley. (2015). Emotional Dynamics in Intimate Relationships. Emotion Review. 7. 10.1177/1754073915590620.

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