Let go of the anguish of the past and learn to live in the now

We all live with a certain pressure from the future and weight from the past, when in reality the only thing we have at our disposal is the now. Thus, limiting our way of life to what was and will be can plunge us into a negative state of mind.

Being and living in the present has incredible benefits; However, this, which means enjoying life in moments, remains a pending task. I see it in the patients who come to my consultation, when they present anxiety to me as the protagonist of their lives or how sadness has been integrated into their shadow. But in addition, I also detect it in common and shared habits. Have you noticed it too?

We nostalgically remember the past, those moments in which we laughed so much that our bellies hurt, and those others in which we could only think that we wish they were eternal. We imagine and make a thousand and one plans for tomorrow, hoping that they will be perfect and unique, which also requires arduous preparation. Thus, we We spend time, remembering and imagining, immersed in the remembrance of what has already happened.

The anguish of the past

We have to admit, we have all put our anchor in the past at some point. That’s ok. We are human beings, and as such we define ourselves based on our memories. As we live, it is tempting to return to the past when we do not find stimuli of positive feelings in the present.. Thus, we can come to hold on to the good moments (the already good memories), as if they were our most precious treasure.

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The problem appears when the desire to stay in the past ends up hindering our growth. We see ourselves fighting a battle that will potentially take a toll on our psychological health, especially when we relive the past in an obsessive way.

So there are memories they awaken emotions in us that generate great discomfort. We talk about sadness and guilt, that undermine our attitude, especially if we do not know how to manage them.

“You couldn’t do anything else, because you didn’t do it. Everything you did in the past is perfect according to the level of consciousness you had back then. If you can see it differently now, celebrate your awareness, but do not give the ego the pleasure of controlling you with its most powerful weapon: guilt.”

-Alejandra Baldrich-

The uncertainty of a future to be built

We’ve all experienced that mental cycle. That in which thoughts follow one after another uninterruptedly and that causes a excessive worry about the future. This habit, widespread in today’s society and framed in the prevailing lifestyle, condemns our mind to spend resources in a continuous state of alert.

The future scares, and the inspired fear is born before the imaginary drawing of the “most terrible threats”. We are talking about a strategy that, as a species, we have frequently used to survive. However, this strategy fails when we are not able to generate a degree of tolerance for uncertainty or use anticipation to develop prevention strategies and put a stop to uncertainty. anxiety.

“True generosity towards the future lies in giving everything in the present.”

-Albert Camus-

Here and now: our action scenario

The only reality that we can modify with behavior is todayis where life happens, is what is happening now while you are reading these lines. We can only enjoy every moment we experiencebecause in the end life is made up of that, of small moments.

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When we decide to travel to the past and the future, the important thing is to use our ability to objectively recognize the obstacles that drag us there.. Thus, it is essential that we learn to separate our emotions from the situation and be able to identify new routes to continue moving forward. One of the keys to achieving this is to place ourselves in the present moment and enjoy life in moments.

We know that it is much easier said than done, but with practice we can all incorporate this behavior into our repertoire. The first step may be to embrace the idea that it is okay to have changes come our way, Life is change and evolution and from the present moment these are our views.

“The past has fled, what you hope for is absent, but the present is yours.”

-Arab proverb-

Francisco Alcaidein his books and conferences on leadership and management, speaks clearly about how we can manage our emotions and have control of our life:

Look at the past with gratitude.Enjoy the present with enthusiasm.Build the future with hope.

And to you who read me, I tell you that you are where you need to be… to enjoy life in moments.

Enjoy life in moments

Frequently, we need to stop the inertia of our attentional focus, stop it and redirect its jumps. Stopping this agitation, or at least the harmful internal dialogue that we may be accustomed to, is essential. Only from this position can we adopt a perspective that allows us to place ourselves in the present moment and enjoy life in moments.

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For this we can resort to mindfulness. It is a technique that helps to become fully aware of the present moment. Thus it gives us the calm that is so necessary to respond, and not just react, to the circumstances that arise before us.

We just have to stop and think about each and every one of the moments that make up our lives, and if we look closely, the most endearing are those tinged with serendipity. We did not look for them, but we found them while we lived, in the here and now.