Learn to miss. Especially for those who know where to find you

Every now and then the only remedy is to step out of the picture for the show to continue. Learning to be absence when everything has already been said, demanded, explained. Stop being insistence to be abstinence.

Controlling your impulses may seem simple, but it is one of the hardest things to achieve. So many opportunities to be happy happening outside and people insisting on focusing on the person who left.

It is necessary to understand that while we insist on checking the times when the other “last viewed” the message we sent him, a lot of life is happening and being left behind.

Of course, in the beginning it will be more difficult – it is not overnight that the heart understands the changes in plans – but little by little, little by little, we learn to miss it.

Disappear from the map of those who know where to find you and so far didn’t care; of someone who had all your smiles and never valued them.

Leave the scene from whom you heard countless “no’s”; of those who never believed in you, of those who had little relationship and got tired of a lot.

Disappears from the map of those who live with doubts and have never been sure; of those who have not learned to row together and to act with kindness.

Learn to be missed by those who have gotten used to your presence and have unlearned to smile when you approach. For those who have forgotten how good your company is and prefer to take refuge in a cold life.

To be missed is to hold back the impulse to search, scour, ask. It is to stop the will to understand what can no longer be explained or to justify what does not deserve forgiveness.

Missing is not calling, not texting. It’s going out to have fun with friends, go for a run in the park, take a deep breath and find meaning in solitude. It’s relaxing to calm the thought, it’s giving up looking good when you’re not well, it’s cutting your hair to renew your spirit, it’s staying away from the phone while having a drink and enjoying the beauty of the sea. It is, above all, acting with oblivion for those who always seemed to forget about you.

Whoever is by your side is not always with you. When we disappear, we find out if we are really needed. When we disappear, we discover how important our presence is or not. Vanishing is a risky strategy, I know. But it also defines a lot of unresolved things. It also brings the answers we seek and do not always find.

Fabiola Simões