Law of the mirror: what you see in others is your reflection

When building each step of our personal growth, we focus excessively only on our interior, when much of what we can learn resides outside or in our trusted environment. Countless legends taught us since ancient times that What we see in others reveals information to us about who we are ourselves.

There have been many studies on personal psychology that affirm that The exterior acts as a mirror for our mind. A mirror where we see reflected different qualities, characteristics and personal aspects of our own essence, of our most primitive being.

We talk about the situations that frequently arise in our daily lives when we observe something we don’t like about others and feel a certain rejection, even disgust. Well, we are faced with the law of the mirror, which establishes that, in some way, that aspect that we dislike about a certain person exists within us. Why does this experience happen? Today we will share with you its function and the origin of this law.

Is the defect we perceive on the outside or in ourselves?

The law of the mirror establishes that our unconsciousness, helped by the psychological projection that we carry out during that moment, makes us think that the defect or displeasure that we perceive in others only exists “out there”, not in ourselves. Psychological projection is a defense mechanism by which we attribute unacceptable feelings, thoughts, beliefs or even our own actions to others. for us.

Psychological projection begins to kick in during experiences that cause emotional conflict or when we feel threatened, both internally and externally. When our mind understands that there is a threat to our physical and emotional integrity, it emits all those qualities as a rejection to the outside, attributing them to an object or subject external to ourselves. Thus, apparently, we place these threats outside of ourselves.

Projections happen with both negative and positive experiences. We transfer our reality without a filter to the outside world, constructing the external truth with our own personal characteristics. A characteristic experience of psychological projection occurs when we fall in love and attribute to the loved person certain characteristics that only exist in us.

We project our own reality onto the environment

The law of the mirror is reflected when we claim to “know” other people very well and in reality what we do is project our own reality onto them. When this situation occurs, we are superimposing our projected vision of ourselves on the physical image of said person captured by our senses.

Being aware of what we project on others allows us to discover how we really are. Allowing ourselves to be aware of this mental mechanism makes it easier for us to regain control over what is happening inside us to be able to take charge and work on those aspects of ourselves that we do not want to maintain or want to transform into positive ones.

It is essential to remember that everything that comes through our senses we take as true, often without recognizing the part of interpretation or subjectivity that exists in it. We live according to this way of perceiving reality, creating negative distortions or that cause us discomfort when it comes to interacting with the people around us, even with ourselves.

If we want to use this natural resource -projecting- in a healthy and complete way to obtain healthy inner growth, meditation will help us draw this border, making it easier for us to learn. to see things as they really are. Always remembering the premise that “observing says more about the observer than about what is observed.”

How to use the law of the mirror to our advantage?

If you want to take advantage of the law of the mirror to enhance your personal growth, self-knowledge and improve your personal relationships, below, we will present a practical exercise that will help you achieve this.

The first thing you should do is remember a time when you felt bad about something that happened with someone else. For example, after having an argument. After that, Ask yourself what that situation reflects in you, for which there are four possible alternatives:

1. The opposite

It disturbs us to interact with that person who is the complete opposite of us. For example, if we are very organized and the mess of others bothers us, it is possible that what really bothers us is that we demand too much of ourselves in terms of organization.

In this sense, We have to reflect: could we be more flexible with this? Is it really so necessary to be so rigid with order? If we stopped doing it, would it be very terrible?

2. Similarity in the mirror law

Another possible scenario is that we are bothered by a part of ourselves that we do not want to see. In other words, it is something about us that we do not want to accept and, therefore, it resists and persists. In this case, we must reflect on what exactly is hurting us about the other person, and then consider whether we behave the same way in other situations.

By seeing it clearly, that part of us will stop fighting against our own shadow and that will be what helps us change what we don’t like. Keep in mind that without acceptance there is no possible transformation.

3. Selfish expectations

When we have high expectations about a situation or person, and we begin to notice that they do not match reality, we begin to get upset. In these cases, The ideal is to begin to accept that there will always be situations that are beyond our control and that reality will never be the way we want it to be.. When we are aware of this, we will take a weight off our shoulders.

4. Do the same thing they do to the rest of us

Happens when we find ourselves feeling like victims of a person who is hurting us, and we don’t realize that we are doing the same thing to someone else. In these circumstances, the ideal is to reflect on the things that make us feel bad about how they treat us, and then review them carefully. Thinking if we are acting in a similar way with someone different. This will undoubtedly change our relationship with others for the better.

Benefits provided by the law of the mirror

Reflecting on the interaction between one’s own perception and what is projected is very useful for certain processes. Let’s see the most important ones:

Greater self-knowledge: After all, using introspection is always a good technique to get to know ourselves better.Know your dark side: essential for emotional management and learning to relate in a healthy way.Development of empathy: The moment you put yourself in someone else’s place, you accept the imperfection of others, since you also perceive it in yourself.Personal balance: Connecting with your own person helps to better balance psychological processes, as it increases self-awareness.Get rid of the ego: Accepting yourself and others in their pure essence is the key to placing your ego on the same level as that of the rest of living beings.Liberation from victimhood: You stop giving up your personal power to others to start taking responsibility for yourself.

And, ultimately, more wisdom and freedom for you, that is what the law of the mirror brings. It generates knowledge about oneself and others, frees one from many biases and empowers. Never deny yourself introspection, as it is essential for daily life.

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