Know yourself and others

To the question “who are you?” Most people respond by saying their name, age, marital status and their job. Let’s give an example: “I’m Laura, I’m 25 years old, I’m married and I work as an administrator.” Are we really just that? A number, an occupation, a personal situation? All of these are nothing more than identifying attachments. What one truly is is in the depths of our being. And to do this, you have to know yourself.

Whether you have a better or worse position, more or fewer possessions, whether you are married, single, separated, does not give important information about the most important definition. Who you are, as a person. To truly know yourself, you have to leave everything external aside and delve deeper into the interior, into sensations, attitudes, etc…
Now, knowing this… So, who are we? If I am not my job, nor my possessions, I define myself as a responsible, human, upright, intelligent person… But those definitions that you apply to yourself do not really describe you, because what you think about yourself may not be realistic. That’s what you think you are, but it could be that you were distorting reality, for different reasons.

There are those who have the ego very high and when it comes to defining himself he exaggerates things in his favor. There would also be the opposite case, someone with low self-esteem, which when it comes to defining itself, its virtues are undervalued and undervalued. So how can we know who we really are? Do I trust what I think? Do I trust what others think of me?

What we want and what we do

To know yourself thoroughly, leave labels and definitions aside. Think, for example, about more internal, more intimate and private things. For example, ask yourself the question about What really matters most to you in life? How would I like to live? What values ​​do I have? What virtues and defects can I improve?

We are what we do, not what we say. For example, imagine someone says that their highest priority in life is to become independent. It is what he wants most and he puts it before everything, but it turns out that this person is 41 years old and still lives with his parents, being able, economically and emotionally, to live alone.

What information does this situation give us? If a person really wants something, they will do everything possible to get it. So, what he says and does in this case is contradictory. Because? Probably because what he wants most internally is to continue at his parents’ house; but socially, he is frowned upon. That is why he tells the outside world that his desire is different, so as not to be rejected.

Do the words are gone with the wind

We can say a lot with words, but the real information is in what we do, the place where we are and the actions we take.
You can get to know yourself more with your behaviors and reactions, than with your convictions, ideas and beliefs.. Especially in the way we act when things are not going well, when there are arguments, confrontations or the need to show compassion and understanding. Those moments are also when you get to know others the most, right?

You can get to see the great quality of a person in bad times. For example, imagine two friends who have always told each other everything, even their most intimate secrets. But one day they argue and stop being friends.

The quality of the person will be seen in each person’s reaction. If, despite being angry, they do not try to harm the other further, or take advantage of the secrets they know about the other, it will tell us that people are one way. If, on the other hand, when someone gets angry he attacks the other person, he tries to harm them behind their backs, to create a bad image and rejoices in their misfortunes, We will be facing a vengeful person with little integrity.

Know yourself through others

Unfortunately, when circumstances are good, we all put our best face forward. But when things get complicated, not all people are there. And it is in their reactions where you truly know them. Therefore, to know oneself and others, try to find coherence in your actions and words; in what they long for and what they do; in what they want and how they behave.