Keys to connecting with an introverted person

Connecting with an introvert requires finding the right moment. It involves approaching them sincerely and without artifice to discover that they can be excellent conversationalists. We will also realize that beneath that sometimes distant appearance lives a person who knows how to listen, who avoids gossip, who fills us with enthusiasm and who forms strong and loyal bonds.

If we briefly review the literature on introversion we will realize one aspect. It was not until 2010 when this type of personality put aside its negative image to showthanks to books like Silence, the power of introverts, a whole series of virtues and characteristics that make this profile a real potential to discover.

In 1935, psychologists Davis and Rulon published a study where, for the first and only time until the beginning of 2000, they talked about the interests of introverts. They were not defined by social withdrawal, as many thought, nor were they the exact reverse of the extraverted personality.

On the contrary, they had sufficient skills to become involved in the objectives of any society. They were distinguished by their commitment to their ideals and their great skills as conversationalists.

This last piece of information was harshly criticized at that time. In those years, introversion was associated with that pathological shyness where the person lacks social skills. Today, that idea has already been banished. Above all because of a detail that we cannot forget: introversion is not a unitary trait. Each of us is located at a point within that continuum between introversion-extroversion.

How to connect with an introverted person?

We already know that introversion is not the same as shyness. We also understand that in this type of personality there are no deficiencies in social skills, no withdrawal, nor any pathological component that makes it difficult for us to connect with them. In reality, what defines them are a series of behavioral dynamics that go in conjunction with their mental approach, your emotions and even with a brain that processes information differently. Let’s see it:

They prefer quiet environments. They do not avoid socializing or encounters with large groups of people, however, these types of scenarios with a great excess of stimuli exhaust them psychologically. They are introspective, observant, imaginative. They have few friends, They prefer small circles of friends with whom to establish strong and meaningful ties.They prefer deep conversations, they don’t like gossip or attracting attention. They are detail-oriented.They are motivated by intrinsic motivation, they are faithful to their values, they do not need to get along with everyone.They have artistic passions: music, writing, drawing…

Knowing this line of tastes, behaviors and dynamics that profile the introverted person, let’s see now What keys can help us connect with them?.

1. Go slowly, respect time and communication channels

To connect with an introverted person we must understand one aspect. Her world moves at a different pace, slower, more serene, more cautious. Therefore, we must avoid that first contact where we impose our presence, overwhelm with a monologue and end up asking for their phone number. All of this is a mistake.

The ideal is to accept their rhythm, their times. A success is start with a contact meeting where a topic that is of interest to both parties comes up. Likewise, it is important to understand that there are certain communication channels that introverts tend to avoid. They don’t like regular phone calls. Better and better spaced messages, without pressure, without stress.

2. An onion with interesting layers

Introverts have many layers. They are like an onion that hides an interior as valuable as it is luminous. Knowing how to reach them to connect authentically requires not only respecting times, but also removing layers little by little. Something like this requires a great dimension on our part: trust.

Only if we are sincere, close, humble and consistent at all times will we be able to establish a good friendship/relationship. with that person.

3. Don’t make them the center of attention

Avoid preparing surprise parties and do not organize his/her birthday where the guests fill a room and he/she is the center of attention. Something like this would work with an extroverted personality, but not with this profile. Create special moments where everything is simple and spontaneous, where there are just the right people, where you don’t feel pressureno other people’s glances, nor do you have to feel forced to do something that makes you uncomfortable.

4. Meaningful conversations

Avoid monologues or superficial dialogues. In these cases, said profile will serve you politely, but will not be listening to you. To connect with an introvert, choose more intelligent, deep topics… Without a doubt, The ideal is to discuss common interests with that person, such as books, television series, goals, projects... Related values ​​that unite you both.

5. Pleasure for silences

Sharing silences with another person can lead to magical moments. Because it is in those moments where trust lives, where each one allows themselves to be naturally, without having to force anything, neither attitudes nor conversations. Thus, to connect with an introverted person, there is nothing better than looking for quiet environments where calm predominates, where silence creates the bond between both and that complicity that can last a lifetime.

6. Respect spaces

There is no need to meet every day or call every two hours. There is no need to explain everything we do or don’t do. Introverted people need their spaces of solitude to recharge their energy, to nourish themselves, to be themselves in the balance of their loneliness. with your tastes and passions. Just because they act like this doesn’t mean they love us any less, whether as friends or as a couple.

In conclusion, Connecting with an introvert can be easier than we think. Even more, if there is something that will be above all satisfactory. They are treasures in the depths with which we have the opportunity to establish extraordinary connections.

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