Kerophobia, the irrational fear of being happy

Although it may sound contradictory, the fear of happiness exists and is known as cherophobia. It’s about a irrational fear that possibly has a lot to do with anxiety and that prevents us from getting involved in activities that bring us happiness.

If we stop to think carefully about it, we will realize that we have observed this phenomenon on some occasions, either in others or in ourselves.

The term could have its origin in the Greek χαρά -happiness, joy, rejoicing- and φοβία -fear, dread-, although it is difficult to trace the origin of the word since the disorder it designates is not found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

Who is afraid of being happy?

The people who suffer cherophobia They tend to reject situations in which the feeling of joy is implicit. This does not imply that they want to be unhappy or sad; on the contrary, people with cherophobia They reject happiness because it is accompanied by sadness.so it is not being sad that they are looking for.

Whether because happiness is not permanent or because exhibiting happiness can show those around you that they are not happy by comparison, a cherophobe will frequently reject a social event in which they would feel happy or any situation that, in some way, awakens a feeling of well-being in him.

They also tend to distance themselves and prevent any type of positive change in their lives. In short, they tend to distance themselves from any possibility that invites them to feel good, happy and with a certain well-being. Hence some of their most common thoughts are:

“If I am happy, something bad will happen to me later.” “Proving to be happy is bad for me as well as for others.” “Trying to be happy makes me waste time and effort.”

Furthermore, it is common for this type of person to position themselves defensively and not allow themselves to be convinced in interactions with other individuals. They tend to be insecure, since they do not control their emotions very well and are insecure. So, This accumulation of negative emotions can lead to rejection of fun and, therefore, happiness.

Examples of events that a person would not attend cherophobe

If you know someone with cherophobia, try to keep in mind that Inviting you to certain social events may cause an argument or annoyance on your part.

A clear example could be birthdays. In this type of celebration, the center of attention is someone else, but it is expected of the attendees positive emotions and fun, something that a person with cherophobia is not willing to show. In the same way, a family meal will also be a source of stress for him.

Business dinners, meals with friends or other types of meetings social are also examples of situations rejected by a cherophobe. In short: any occasion that revolves around the gathering of people.

However, although our tendency is to not invite that person or not attend an event they are going to attend so as not to feel worried, uncomfortable or experience embarrassment, the solution is far from going through any of these two named positions. .

How to overcome kerophobia

Since it is not a clinically recognized disorder, There is no specific treatment for it. Despite this, it is advisable to go to a mental health specialist. A psychologist will be able to recommend exercises that benefit the cherophobepropose solutions to your problems or offer possible treatments.

Now, it is important, in the first instance, accept that there is a problem. This is often the most complicated step in a therapeutic process and, therefore, it is normal that the person affected may need outside help before deciding.

1. Avoid isolation

Family and friends should be very aware in case a loved one begins to isolate themselves in a worrying way. This would constitute the first warning sign.

It is important complement visits to the psychologist with a gradual adaptation to social lifeurging the affected person to re-enter social circles and situations previously avoided.

This does not mean that you can change someone’s personality: you have to taking into account the person’s preferences affects on a social level when configuring therapeutic progression.

During this entire process, the affected person must be accompanied. This will help you become more aware of the problem and obtain greater benefits from being more involved in your recovery.

2. Be patient

Changes as big as overcoming the cherophobia They don’t happen overnight. As he cherophobe As people who want to help you must be patient and accept that the process is slow.

That’s why, It is better not to set expectations too high, to prevent those who suffer from cherophobia from reaching high levels of frustration.

3. Seek help

Sometimes, people affected by a psychological disorder are the only ones in their environment who They are not aware that they need support for their recovery process.

This can be done well by denial of the problem or shame when it comes to externalizing it. They are not able to take the step and request professional help.

In short, Only a professional is capable of managing the situation and giving the keys to the patient. to gradually overcome your problem. If we ourselves find ourselves in the role of the patient, it is important listen to those who recommend that we seek professional support.

If we are part of the circle in which the cherophobeIt is important take on a protective agent role. As we have said before, patience is essential, but so is action: we cannot remain aloof from the problemsince we would also be harming the person affected.

In short, this difficulty is something that we should think about if we observe that a person in our close circle begins to distance themselves on a social level. Like all psychological problems, it must be treated quickly and with professional help.without forgetting the people around the patient, who are vital elements for his recovery.

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