Just the end, life that goes on…

He broke up with me…

I still haven’t digested the thought of being an ex and I can still hear the loud slam of the door and a goodbye that’s stuck in my throat.

What a ridiculous thing… all relationships end, all are doomed to end, whether by routine, differences of opinion or the fact that love has ended.

It’s like that with all couples and it wouldn’t be different with us, of course not.

SEE TOO:

I want to love the right guy

Maybe I’m bad for the fact that this time I’m on the other side, because it was always me who ended it, it was always me who put an end to every relationship, but this time it was him, in big letters.

I feel a mixture of sadness, emptiness and at the same time happiness, because in the times I finished, without any demagoguery, I swear I wanted to be in the other’s place, I swear I didn’t want to be seeing all that suffering without power do anything to change the scenario, because I didn’t feel love anymore and automatically, I couldn’t continue in that relationship.

But I’m suffering, a strange little pain in my chest, his energy is still impregnated in my house, in my things, it’s still impregnated inside me and it’s going to take a lot of effort to get every bit of him out of me.

I’m trying hard, I think I’m doing well, deep down. I am a person attracted to changes, and I adapt very well to them.

I’m going to take some things out of the place, separate some photos that no longer match the decor of the house, tidy up drawers and of course, make room in my heart.

Like every good leonine, I’m going to take all of this out of words, I’m going to live the grief of the end, I’m going to cry, try to understand, try to find the point where the chain broke, maybe I’ll even get drunk listening to our favorite song… it’s not the what does everyone do?

Of course I’m going to mentally curse him countless times for all the times he lied, he faked, and how much he cheated on me.

Anyway, I will live every moment of this cesspool in an intense and true way, without guilt and without dramas.

After this period, I don’t know how long it will last, but I hope it doesn’t take too long, I’m going to live a new phase.

Am I going to enjoy my singleness, gather my friends and have a party and maybe open my heart to a new passion?

Then it’s time for reason to act, after all the emotional turmoil, I’m going to thank the heavens for taking it away from me, I’m going to feel how good it is to live life without lies, I’m going to be myself again, without that unnecessary suffocation, I’m going to put my clothes that I love so much, without anyone saying I look like a slut, because that’s what he said (wow, I can’t believe I heard that).

I’m going to find my friends and not have to hear that they’re interested in me.

I will speak what I think, the way I think, act according to the concepts I believe in and exercise my right to freedom.

Then it will return to normal, I will be happy again, because I was born for this, to be happy.

And if anyone asks why it ended, I’ll just say: In a novel, only two people can fit, if there are three, it’s because someone is left over and in this case, I was left over.

Only the end, life that follows…

Meire Rodrigues

SEE TOO:

Nothing like a new love to make the soul reborn.