It’s all going wrong! And now?

Hello friends!

This is a text of philosophical and ethical reflection. We all either had or have or will have moments in our lives when everything goes wrong, everything collapses at the same time. When this happens, what to do?!? The purpose of this text is to point out some ways of organizing, clarifying our ideas during these times so that we can take the right actions so that things get right again.

Staying in mental and emotional states of extreme anxiety, sadness, anger only hinder the whole process, as they do not let us see things as they are. The first step is to stop, breathe and think about all the bad results you are having. Analysing, thinking about the factors that may have contributed to such a situation is of paramount importance.

After this “survey” of the situation, it is important that we think, that we put on paper the results that we would like to have. This is the second step. The third step consists of organizing, putting on paper the factors, actions, thoughts that can lead us to the desired results. Only after putting this step into practice can we see our mistakes, failures, and change the strategy.

When something doesn’t work out, it doesn’t go as we imagine, we must seek clear and practical solutions, change tactics so that the results are different. And it’s crucial that we know that we can only control our actions, our thoughts and feelings. We are responsible for planting the fruits we reap, always!!!

To make these steps clearer, let’s see the example below of a hypothetical situation:

Luana is not happy with her job or her relationship. At work, the tactic of trying too hard and never being recognized doesn’t lead to your desired promotion. Luana, to leave this situation, must analyze it and understand what her attitudes are that prevent her from being recognized and, consequently, promoted. As she is a very responsible, shy and humble person, she does not insist on showing her worth and, when she is praised, she does not accept it, stating that the good result of the work is everyone’s merit – even if only she did all the work. This attitude, when changed, leads to new results. Recognizing this, Luana can see more clearly what she must do differently to achieve her goal.

As for her love relationship, Luana is having problems with her boyfriend for pressuring him to get married. The boyfriend doesn’t want to get married, because, for him, they’ve only been together for a short time. Pressured so much, Luana receives an ultimatum from her boyfriend: either everything stays as it is or everything ends.

First of all, Luana must analyze the situation. By observing everything, she will realize that backing down, pressuring her boyfriend to get married was the factor that made the situation unsustainable. But what to do to achieve the dreamed wedding?

As far as Luana’s attitudes are concerned, there are only two options: control her desire, respect her boyfriend’s wishes and continue in their relationship, or break up and find a new boyfriend. Everything Luana wants for herself and her boyfriend, as a couple, depends on him too. The two options are those that fit only Luana’s choice, not involving her boyfriend’s choice. These are the factors that depend on Luana and they are the ones that must be recognized. Trying to control her boyfriend’s attitudes, thoughts and feelings is not up to Luana.

Things are not easy, they are not “black and white” as in our example. However, the intention here is to show how to put our ideas and feelings in order when the results we obtain are not desired. The purpose is, after all, to achieve what we seek.

While your thoughts and feelings seem too intense, don’t make any decisions! It is not possible to analyze the situation, causes and consequences clearly. Distancing yourself a little from extremes is essential for our new choices to bring our desired goals.

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