Difference between solitude and solitude – Do you know the difference?

“Language created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone. And he created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone” (Tillich)

Hello friends!

During my PhD, I had the opportunity to study the work of Paul Tillich. Tillich is considered one of the most important theologians of the 20th century and his definitions of faith and ultimate meaning – despite being controversial – are very interesting for anyone studying the psychology of religion.

Yesterday I was researching some topics to write about here for the site and I found this magnificent quote by the German theologian in the book The Eternal Now, The Eternal Now🇧🇷

“Language (…) created the word solitude to express the pain of being alone. And he created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone.” In English: “Language… has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone”.

Etymologically, in Portuguese, both solitude and solitude come from the Latin solitudine. In our daily lives, we always use the word solitude and we see very little use of the word solitude. In English, the difference between loneliness and solitude best highlights the concept that Tillich is trying to describe. In German, the same difference is present in the words Einsamkeit (solitude – loneliness) and Alleinsein (literally, being alone, solitude).

We have to make these differences, because being and being alone or alone doesn’t necessarily mean it will be unpleasant, right?

In many ways, we find truth in the saying: “Better alone than in bad company”.

Loneliness – The pain of being alone

The evaluation of what is pleasant and what is unpleasant is always a value judgment. And value judgments are always very individual and also relative to a specific moment in time. In the end, we can say that we will evaluate something as pleasant or unpleasant according to our desire.

For example, imagine you are walking along the beach and it starts to rain. If you weren’t wishing for rain, the moment would be rated as unpleasant. But, if for a second you just feel what is happening, and even wish for rain, the scene turns from unpleasant to pleasant.

A single person who wants to find a relationship has one desire – the desire for companionship. In this way, loneliness will easily be linked to an unpleasant idea. As if to say: “I am without anyone. I wish to be with someone. Therefore, loneliness is bad”.

Solitude – The glory of being alone

However, being alone does not necessarily have to be associated with something bad. We can be alone to put our heads in order, put our thoughts in order, think about life, enjoy a landscape, dance alone in the dark…

According to the Michaelis dictionary, the word solitude is a poetic word. Poetics, in turn, refers both to the production of something new and to the appreciation and creation of beauty. That is, solitude allows time and space and silence to do what is useful or beautiful. It also lets you do nothing. It also allows you to develop spirituality, find yourself as a person different from others and accept yourself as you are – regardless of the approval of the other (the problem we talked about in the previous text – Emotional Dependence).

A characteristic present in solitude and that we don’t see a frequent reference to is the chance to be silent. After all, language serves to communicate. And if we are alone, we don’t need to communicate. Therefore, solitude makes silence viable. And silence almost always brings calm, tranquility and peace.

Conclusion

This text is a small compliment to the positive side of being alone, what Paul Tillich called solitude. For an extroverted society like ours, being alone (and wanting to be alone) is mistakenly associated with a problem. Like people who see someone go to the cinema unaccompanied and laugh at the loneliness of others.

However, the most delicious thing about solitude is freedom. When we’re in a relationship, it’s inevitable to give in a little there and a little here. I’m talking about any and all types of relationships. Sometimes we don’t want to go to a pizzeria, we’d rather have gone to see a movie, but we give in to satisfy the wishes of a friend, a relative, a spouse, a co-worker.

But why not go or do what we want later, alone? Nothing prevents and this is the feeling of freedom, of being able to come and go, and not needing anyone’s approval, anyone’s agreement, having space to remain silent and not having to talk about this or that. Solitude is therefore an opportunity. An opportunity for freedom and silence.

It is important not to confuse solitude with total isolation. As Balzac ironically said, solitude is great as long as you have someone to tell you that solitude is great. I mean, it’s hard to imagine a life without having people around us. However, why not have wonderful moments with yourself?

This is point. The point that complements the text on emotional dependence. So aloneness is being able to be independent. Even if independence lasts for an afternoon, a day, a trip or twenty minutes in the shower.

To conclude, another quote from a great thinker: “A man can be himself only if he is alone; and if he doesn’t love solitude, he won’t love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he can be truly free” (Schopenhauer).

See also – Psychology of Loneliness – Introversion and Extroversion

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