Is it normal to go days without talking to your partner? Everything you need to know

In many of my articles that talk about healthy relationships and couples advice, I talk about the importance of communication in the couple.

The way a couple communicates can greatly affect the quality of their relationship and their ability to solve problems together.

So, it’s natural to feel worried if you haven’t talked to your partner for days, and maybe you start to wonder if everything is still okay between you.

Sometimes your boyfriend, yourself or both can be very busy, or tired or just don’t have the energy to talk and that’s completely normal. Any healthy relationship will have and needs certain spaces for both of you.

But it is also true that certain silences can be a warning, so here we will see if it is normal to go days without talking to your partner. Also I will give you some advice if you are experiencing this uncomfortable situation.

Everything you should keep in mind to understand if it is normal to go days without talking to your partner

The frequency of communication in relationships

First I would like to develop the point of the frequency of communication in a relationship.

Is there a correct or average frequency of communication with your partner?

The truth is that this varies according to each relationship. Some prefer to communicate daily, while others communicate less frequently.

In general, the important thing is that both find a balance, with which they both feel comfortable.

The truth is that communication is one of the most essential ways in which people connect, and along with it, closeness is what helps maintain strong and healthy relationships.

So while there’s no general rule of thumb for the perfect communication frequency, the important thing is to know that it’s okay and healthy not to talk to your boyfriend EVERY day.

What should you consider when deciding if it is normal to go days without talking to your partner?

The time they have been together

Communication is not the same when you are flirting with a boy and they have just started dating than if they have been a couple for years.

In the second case, it is likely that they take it more calmly and do not need to send messages every day or every hour.

How comfortable are they in the relationship?

If there is trust, you will be able to determine how often you both feel comfortable communicating. Actually, you probably won’t need to talk about it since it will come naturally.

What is happening in their lives at that moment?

There are many reasons why there could be moments or days of silence between two people.

For example, there may be time or distance issues, perhaps they are in different time zones making it difficult to coordinate communication, perhaps the connection of one of the two is failing or weak.

Your boyfriend might be too busy or worried about his job, college, or some family issues.

But it could also be because of deeper problems in the relationship, such as a lack of trust, loss of interest or constant conflicts.

Take some time to evaluate what are the real reasons why you spend days without talking to your partner. Is it because of a communication habit, some passing matter, or could it be a more basic problem in your relationship?

In which cases is it not healthy to spend days without talking to your partner?

When they use silence out of anger or as a form of punishment

I’m not saying this should never happen. It can be a way of trying to resolve a conflict, perhaps even with good intentions.

It’s understandable, they could have gotten angry after an argument and that’s why they just stop talking.

Sometimes you might think that ignoring the situation could help it go away, but it isn’t. Hardly ignoring a problem will make it go away.

On the other hand, there are people who could use the silent treatment as punishment and a form of manipulation, hoping to generate a reaction in the other. This is not a healthy way to handle conflict, and you shouldn’t accept it for yourself.

Silence, when used as punishment, only generates more uncertainty, confusion, and resentment.

And if you need a space to process your differences, the important thing is to express it and not just disappear.

It’s as simple as telling your partner: I’m not in a position to discuss this now, I’ll tell you when I am.

They have nothing more to say

There’s a big difference between pauses in communication and feeling like you have nothing more to talk about with your partner.

If they no longer feel like they have topics to share, this is a red flag that the spark might be fading.

It doesn’t mean that all is lost, but they will definitely have to work hard if they want to stay together.

One of the two closes

This can be generated by external factors, such as stress, problems in some area outside the couple, such as work or others.

It implies that one of the two is not emotionally available to communicate and might avoid the other to avoid arguments or disagreements.

It could also arise within the couple, surely it sounds familiar to you: when you argue with a person for long hours without reaching any kind of agreement, not even close. Then silence simply appears, they have reached a point of emotional exhaustion that demands a break.

Again, the important thing here is to express to your partner how you feel and find another time of better emotional availability to talk.

You are no longer excited to write or reply to their messages

Although it is true that we cannot be glued to the mobile 24/7 to respond to our partner’s messages. We should even have fluid communication. If he texts you when you’re in a meeting, you could at least tell him you’re busy and you’ll text him later.

The problem is when you no longer feel like communicating or responding to their messages and the same is the other way around. It is when there may be a deeper problem.

How to deal with silence when it becomes a problem

If a couple is going days without speaking, and this is unusual behavior for the couple, it is important to address the problem.

First of all, it is key that they recognize that something is happening, and that a solution is needed.

Some of the options why he could go days without talking to you in addition to the ones we have already mentioned could be:

Is too busy with a project or work Is angry with you and hasn’t told you clearly Needs space to himself Is a person who prefers to show more with actions than words Is not really that interested in you Is talking or dating someone else

So the next step is to understand the reasons behind the silent period or lack of communication from either of you.

If the problem is external, such as lack of time or distance, both of you can look to find ways to communicate more effectively. They could schedule phone calls, agree to meet with a certain frequency or make video calls in case they can’t see each other.

If the problem runs deeper and they feel they can’t handle it alone, they might consider talking to a therapist or counselor to work through the problem and find solutions. And in some cases it could be the best solution to separate if the feelings that used to unite them are no longer present.

5 tips if you are going too many days without talking to your partner

If you feel like too many days go by without talking to your partner and you want to do something about it, here are some tips to help you get through it:

Put some effort on your part and be patient. Try to understand the reasons that your partner may have for this period of silence, it is possible that it is only a temporary need and he will appreciate your patience when he resumes contact. Express your needs to him. Tell him honestly what you’re feeling and ask him to schedule a time to talk even if it’s in the future. You can tell your partner that you understand their need for space, but that you would like to know when you could communicate again. Try to be honest and open when you talk again and avoid being judgmental.
Find alternative ways to communicate with him that are more effective for that particular moment. You can resort to text messages, make a call to ask if he is okay. You can propose to do a different program together, go see a movie, go to the theater, eat at a special place or simply have a drink. This could help you maintain the connection. If you see that nothing works, you can propose the option of consulting a therapist, perhaps he is going through a difficult time and does not know how to communicate it to you.

Conclusion

In conclusion, going days without talking to your partner is not necessarily abnormal, but it is important to address the issue if it is affecting the relationship. Communication is key in any love relationship, and couples should strive to find a balance that works for both parties.

The particularity of silence in human relationships is that it is one of the most misunderstood forms of communication and often leads to misunderstandings and misinterpretations. Which leads to people feeling hurt and rejected.

Not all silence is bad, sometimes it can be very necessary to take time for yourself and recharge your individual energies.

To avoid pitfalls, it is important that whoever needs it in the relationship informs their partner of this need before leaving. That way they will avoid any kind of confusion and stress.