Insecurity and low self-esteem: living on a tightrope

Insecurity and low self-esteem have a direct relationship. There are many people who live on that tightrope where everything trembles, where you walk in fear, fearing that at the slightest mistake, a fall, and laughter in the background will arise. Not only does temperance fail, when one feels fallible and lack of self-love dominates everything, it is impossible to achieve anything. Not even happiness.

Nathaniel Branden, Canadian psychotherapist and author of The seven pillars of self-esteempointed out on one occasion that Without that internal security that gives confidence and authentic affection for oneself, it is impossible to face challenges. more basic. Social relationships, work, ability to achieve, personal projection and even love.

All these dimensions also tremble in the universe of the insecure person with low self-esteem. On the other hand, there is an undeniable aspect. The world is not good or favorable for those who feel this way. The insecure child is often the object of teasing and mistreatment at school. The adult who does not know how to defend her rights runs the risk of suffering from dependent relationships, the kind that further damage self-esteem.

What can be done in these cases?

Insecurity and low self-esteem: living on a tightrope

Low self-esteem always has a cost. Our entire emotional balance depends on that support, on that psychological muscle that acts as the most important psychological variable for our well-being. The psychiatrist Luis Rojas-Marcos tells us in his book The self-esteem that one of those explanatory factors would be in the way people talk to each other.

Beyond the multiple factors that are usually behind the link between insecurity and low self-esteem, We often neglect the great importance of internal dialogue. This soliloquy with oneself should always be kind, affectionate and focused on our virtues. Otherwise, we will feed that progressive wear and tear that always ends up affecting our mental health.

After alllow self-esteem is that dimension that revolves around a large part of psychological disorders such as anxiety and depression. Let’s get more information.

What is behind insecurity and low self-esteem?

We know that what we say to ourselves erodes self-esteem, but… why do we do it? Why does a person act like his own worst enemy and distrust his abilities? It is important to remember first of all that Self-esteem is not a stable dimension, it can fluctuate and be affected by our experiences..

In many cases, the origin lies in childhood and upbringing received. An insecure attachment bond, emotional deficiencies, isolation, abuse or even hyperdemand leads to such striking insecurity and lack of self-esteem. On the other hand, it is also important to highlight traumatic events: losses, accidents, the experiences of bullying either bullying can damage this valuable dimensionLikewise, we cannot forget the impact that harmful emotional relationships can have. The cost of a bond based on criticism, humiliation, emotional blackmail and jealousy can completely damage the self-esteem and personal security of any of us.

What is an insecure person with low self-esteem like?

We have the idea that insecurity and low self-esteem outline someone who is timid, elusive and not very determined. However, we forget that these dimensions can sometimes be behind aggressive and even narcissistic personalities. When someone perceives their shortcomings and weaknesses, they can develop defense mechanisms to shield themselves and try to cover those gaps.

Someone who does not love oneself experiences frustration, anxiety and psychological distress and all of this can (sometimes) translate into aggression. In other cases, the opposite can happen: instead of displaying aggressive behaviors, they are the focus of manipulations as they are the victim. , being that person who does not know how to defend himself, who does not dare to claim his rights. Low self-esteem dilutes potentials, opportunities and life itself. Lack of self-confidence puts us behind that comfort zone where nothing happens, where nothing happens. Last but not least, insecurity and low self-esteem suffer from multiple mental health problems and also physics.

For example, something that The close relationship of these dimensions with eating disorders has been demonstrated.. Thus, from the Infanta Leonor University Hospital, in Madrid, Spain, an interesting investigation was carried out in which it was shown that low self-esteem is a risk factor for developing these serious conditions.

How can I stop being my own enemy and awaken self-confidence?

Self-esteem does not recover overnight. Not if we carry, for example, the weight of a traumatic upbringing, the wound of having spent many years suffering bullying at work or the suffering of feeling firsthand the impact of a dependent emotional relationship. What can we do in these situations?

Psychological therapy is the best resource to work on the origin of these insecurities.. Addressing these triggers and providing the person with skills and tools to improve their internal dialogue is, without a doubt, the best strategy.Likewise, It is also appropriate to keep a journal in order to identify unhealthy thinking patterns. Detecting negativity, irrational thoughts and that voice that acts as a punisher, and not as a guardian of our potential, is another essential step.It is also interesting to set simple goals and objectives on a daily basis to achieve them. These small advances strengthen our security.

Likewise, it would be highly recommended to start new projects. Sometimes, The changes place us in new scenarios in which, almost without knowing how, a new “I” emerges. Someone who is excited about life and, above all, about himself.

That’s the key.

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