From a biological point of view, unfaithful behavior has a direct relationship with the brain’s reward systemassociated with the release of chemicals linked to pleasure, such as dopamine.

The system is activated when we have sex, exercise or eat tasty food. When we do these activities, we feel better, which leads to repeating them to feel good.

It’s inevitable. The reward system makes us always want something new, turning us into a kind of pleasure slave.

Women, in biological terms, are more programmed to be faithful than men, due to two hormones that act more intensely in females, oxytocin and vasopressin, also known as love hormones.

What happens when you are betrayed

The attitude, in the face of continued betrayal, of “what the eyes do not see, the heart does not feel” is recurrent in coaching consultations.

There are, in fact, women who mention that, if the infidelity is not shown, known, “it can be put up with” and the marriage remains.

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These women generally have three characteristics in common. They have low self-esteem (even when they are pretty and have a high level of academic education), a low sense of self-worth, and a wound of abandonment.

They tend to prolong relationships that aren’t good for them so they don’t feel abandoned. This leads them to put up with relationships with people who do nothing to contribute to their well-being. Especially in these cases, it is essential to have the courage to assess the personal situation in a very concrete way.

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Assuming a relationship where you are continually betrayed can prevent our happiness.

What happens when you cheat

At the same time, women have never been more likely to cheat. Socially and financially, cheating has become simpler. The economic independence of women is now greater and it is no longer justified to maintain a relationship for fear of economic survival.

When betrayal happens, the first desire that arises is to hide it, but over time, doubt settles in, especially among those who live the worst with guilt.

The topic is not consensual because it is conditioned by our system of beliefs and rooted values, but as a coach, I am radical in this matter. The truth always!

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Living with the weight of guilt is living in a lie, which causes high energy expenditure. It raises our levels of stress, anguish and anxiety. It floods us with negative energy. Guilt is highly corrosive to the point of making us sick, particularly with depression.

How to deal with guilt after cheating

Guilt corrodes emotions, alters the way we react and how we relate. It changes our personality and our behavior towards our partner and towards our family and friends.

Hiding the betrayal can work in the short term, but sooner or later, we start to not be able to live with that weight. Our brain refuses inconsistency and this will start to be reflected in the way we feel.

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And, consequently, in the way we behave. The relationship ends up degrading and the break becomes inevitable. A study by Cardiff Metropolitan University in Wales, released by the journal Evolutionary Psychological Science, states that, faced with an infidelity situation, women tend to blame their partner’s lover more. But this one is not spared either.

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How to tell a betrayal?

There is no escape. counting! Have the courage to admit that we have failed. No excuses. Without evoking special reasons. Without blaming the other. Regardless of whether we no longer love our partner or he cheated on us in the first place, nothing, in my opinion, justifies keeping a lie. This is also the opinion of many who betray. Still, not everyone has the courage to do so.