If you look up from your navel you will see that you are not the center of the universe

We all know those types of people who believe that they are the only inhabitants of the world. Those people, no matter what happens, are always worse off than you, they have always suffered more and their lives have been much harder. Those people to whom we want to tell that if they look up from their navel they will see that they are not the center of the universe.

They lack emotional balance and live by being parasites before others, using grief as a weapon of seduction. They do not have a single face, but they disguise themselves as whatever suits them best to become the navel of their world.

They are children trying to get attention, and to do so, They do not hesitate to use other people’s feelings. They use the extremes of other people’s emotions to supplant their pain, based on tricks disguised as stories of their own invention.

Those stories that are usually exaggerations of some reality that they may have known, but after passing through the filter of their navel, if there is any resemblance to the original story it is pure coincidence. Thus, with these stories they try to conquer you by appealing to the pain they may provoke in you.

I-ism or the art of looking only at one’s own navel

I-ism or the art of looking only at your own navel consists of spending your life talking in the code of self. Yes, that yo-ism characterized by “and me more”, “mine is worse”, “I only know that the worst things always happen to me” or “I am the unluckiest person in the world”.

These people complain that they are not listened to, that no one understands them, but They are the first to stop listening to you to talk to you about their sorrows.. Many times this behavior is unconscious, because it is the only way to not feel alone.

In those cases, These are people with low self-esteem who do not know how to communicate their feelings correctly. In addition, they usually lack social skills that allow them to communicate better and, above all, understand others and put themselves in their place.

In other cases, they do this art of navel gazing completely deliberately. In this case they demonstrate their lack of empathy. They are selfish and harmful people. And it is because of this selfishness that they become emotional manipulators.

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Characteristics of emotional egoists

These emotional manipulators who are consciously selfish because they try to obtain a benefit from others by appealing to pity, They have the following identifiable characteristics:

Life dissatisfaction: They don’t like the life they live and therefore they invent a parallel reality. With this reality they try to attract the attention of those around them using dramatic stories.They find pleasure in lament: yesThey usually find pleasure in the act of complaining, because this way they better assume their role as “poor victims” and manage to attract the attention of others. But that only happens at the beginning, over time they are alone again. As they say, little attracts, but much exhausts.Emotional blackmail: because if you really appreciate these people you will not let them suffer alone. It’s that simple. That is their premise to continually ask you for attention through grief. Yesand it is basically to make us believe that we are bad people if we do not obey their demands.Deep egocentrism: derived from a lack of empathy. These people assume that they deserve more than others and, when they don’t get it, they complain. When they are not given the attention they believe they deserve, they complain. In short, they are the important ones and the rest is there to serve them.

How to deal (not confront) these people

It is very difficult to deal with this type of people and avoid blackmail and confrontations. A peaceful coexistence with these emotional manipulators is complicated because They vampirize all your resources while making you feel guilty.

The first thing you have to know is that, The usefulness of your complaints or your stories lies in getting what you want. Initially, the complaint may have arisen from a reasonable reason, such as a loss or a very negative experience.

At that moment, the person complained and found support from those around him. She showed that she was a victim (suffering and hurting) and was probably given more attention. This attention made up for her own emotional shortcomings. So, Complaints and selfishness became their way of relating.

Therefore, it is a skill that can be corrected like any other learning. But it requires the admission on the part of the selfish person that he is being selfish by talking only about his feelings and by inventing stories to get the desired attention of others.

What you, as a connoisseur and sufferer of the selfish, can do is try to make him aware of his problem so that, if he wants, he can ask for help. To do this, using communication strategies such as “the sandwich technique” can help.

The sandwich technique consists of delivering criticism and ensuring that it is well received. Start by pointing out a positive quality about the person, then mention what you think could be improved and end with some positive words towards the person receiving the complaint.

In this case it could be: “I understand that what is happening to you hurts you a lot even though you are a very strong person, but I was talking about what worries me and I would like you to listen to me just like I do to you.” , since you usually help me a lot”

This way you can express your discomfort and at the same time not allow this emotional vampire to absorb you in its circle of selfishness.. Because, although we want to tell him to look up from his navel, so that he can see that he is not the center of the universe, it is not the most appropriate way to address people. If we want to receive good treatment, we must give it first, regardless of the recipient.

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