I still remember you. And you will receive light whenever my memory betrays (or presents) me with the memory of you.

I still remember us. Forever I will remember… And although our lives have gone down richly blessed and different paths, I will share for eternity what I learned with you: we can love more than once in our lives, yea. We can’t always stay with the ones we love and we need to move on with a resigned heart and certainties shut in our chest. I loved you. Maybe I still love… in a different way now… But your place is preserved here inside me.

I would have married you. Perhaps I even imagined what our children would be like, whether they would have your shy smile or my indiscreet mannerisms. I would have given my body and soul to you if you asked, and every time you reached out, you reached for me. But it didn’t. I see in our eyes the wish that it had happened, every time we meet again, but it didn’t. You can explain? Me either. Did we really want to? I don’t know… It seems we did so little to make that happen.

But I don’t want to dwell on why we’re not building our story together. I want to tell you that every time I remember you, I feel my heart racing and that same heart, stubborn, sometimes wonders where you’ve been, if you’re happy…. It takes a journey in memories and imagination and for a moment I allow myself to stay there, just feeling life with its presence in it. That’s when I realize that despite time, our choices, you stayed in my heart.

Few people understand, you know? few people understand that we can move on in life, keeping in our chest a pure, preserved feeling, which after being this desirous love of the other, becomes just a sincere love, which sends light every time it meets the other in thought.. This is how I feel my love for you transform. This is how I live my life today, for which I am grateful daily. But I don’t know… Today I felt like telling you that you live here in a corner of my heart, in a different, special way… Permanent.

Sometimes I wake up like this, rereading certain turned pages of my life, just to kill the longing for good memories that revive when they are rescued. It’s a good longing to feel, it brings back a pleasant feeling inside the chest, like that grandmother’s pudding that we used to eat in childhood and sometimes experience as an adult, reliving memories. Sometimes it’s like that… I relive memories and miss you… Then I move on. I’m sure that wherever you are, you will feel today the good energy that I send you as I always send you, every time my heart rescues you and then moves on…

I still remember you. I will always remember. And you will receive light whenever my memory betrays me (or presents me) with the memory of you.

Luciana Marques

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Read this if you have no idea what to do with your life