I search and I can’t find… Why don’t I have a partner?

Google, the information giant in the world, indicated that the question The most common thing people ask their search engine across the planet is: “Why don’t I have a partner?”. Millions of searches are done daily trying to find that answer. Millions of entries appear that apparently answer it. But even so, the next day, it is once again the most frequently asked question.

Despite the revolution in telecommunications and the fact that it is now easier than ever to connect with others, everything seems to indicate that many human beings, especially young people, are having great difficulties in finding a person they can call a partner.

The meeting pages swarm. You enter your data and in a few seconds thousands of partner options appear, taking into account your features and your tastes. However, it seems that all this technology does not have the expected results in the long term. People feel alone, since they cannot establish connections transcendent and gratifying couple. What’s happening?

Studies on the absence of a partner

Some investigations provide data that could be considered worrying. For example, a demographic study conducted in Japan. Those in charge wanted to know in detail what the sexual behavior of people in their country was like.

This is how they managed to know that 40% of men under 34 years of age had never had sexual relations in their life. But not only this. It was also determined that seven out of ten men under the age of 34 had never had a relationship.

You might think that the Japanese are different from the rest of the world, but that is not the case. Similar research was carried out in the United States and the results were consistent. In that research, led by psychologists Jean Twenge, Ryne Sherman and Brooke Wells, it was established that Only 7% of young people between 20 and 30 years old have several sexual relations a week.

Communication and the impossibility of finding a partner

The great paradox of our time is that communicating has never been so easy, but neither has it been so impossible. We have some extraordinary technological devices at our disposal. We can talk to people from any country, at any time, as if they lived in the house across the street. But what has been lost are communication skills.

People seem increasingly unable to communicate what they feel or think. Having communication skills means being able to express what is in the internal world, but also be in a position to listen to what the other has to say. And it seems that currently both abilities have diminished.

The idea has been imposed on the world that you should think only of yourself. Let others think of themselves in turn. Let each one defend what is theirs and not get involved in what others do. Such ideas, promoted too frequently, have resulted in a world made up of a multitude of islands. In these conditions, there is no place for love.

The contradictory thing is that one also longs to have a partner. But the partner is no longer seen as someone with whom you can build intimacy in the broad sense of the term. Rather, it is perceived, at first glance, as an item to be completed. A satisfaction that you cannot miss. A plus that you should not give up.

Don’t get too involved: don’t love

Another idea that has been making a career is that love, as such, is equivalent to a certain weakness.. It seems as if many think that love and couples are not two concepts that should go hand in hand. You have a partner “to go out”, or to have sexual relations, or to have a social companion, but not to build a great love.

For all this, relationships are made and broken with overwhelming ease. Couples are not the result of conversation, empathy and time, but of anguish, need and impulse. That is why the ties that are built are fragile. They are also selfish bonds, in which each one wants to get the best out of the other.

Now people ask Google about their loneliness. They find millions of answers, but none of them really answer them. When asked “why can’t I find a partner?” A social network user gave a synthetic and masterful response. One user said: “With the question, you answer yourself. It is because of his poor social tools and, as a result of that, his low self-confidence.”.

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