I married a Turk and I’m willing to tell you what it’s like to live in Istanbul

“Svetlana, the wife of the Turkish sultan” is the ironic name of the blog of a woman who has lived in Istanbul for a few years. Svetlana Aktcha grew up in St. Petersburg and there she met her future Turkish husband, who was traveling in Russia at the time.

Let’s go together with the awesome.club find out what life is like for this Russian woman in Turkey. And at the same time, let’s find out why breakfast resembles dinner, and which American traditions locals can’t stand.

Everyone told me that a marriage to a Turk would not work. After the first year of marriage, when passions normally begin to wane, I began to receive new advice. They said, for example, that I shouldn’t have a child with him, because in case of divorce I would never see the child again.

Today we have two children. Has our relationship changed? Yes definitely. I really understood that I’m married. “Mom is beautiful and Dad is working.” Yes, now I can say that with a smile, after having worked for 12 years, 5 of which were without days off or holidays.

My husband and I met in St. Petersburg at the end of 2010 and we soon started to communicate in Russian.

“Liar!” — one day he shouted this to me on the phone, seeing a man’s comment on my social media feed. “Liar”, in his mind, would be a derivation of the word “lie”. At that time he still didn’t know many words in Russian. All of this sounded funny to me, and I chuckled.

But everything changed after a few years when I was in the same situation. I once sneezed and someone said to me, “Chok yeshe” (“Health”), and I replied, “Sen de get” (“You will too”).

“Monster”, “puppy donkey”, “thrush”, “son of a dog”: this is how they can refer to my son on the street, and I hear it smiling. Because? Because I go through all this for the second time, as my oldest daughter was usually called “ugly” or “witch”.

This is because people here are afraid of bringing bad luck to babies. Therefore, they dare not praise them, nor call them with affectionate words.

My husband hates it when I walk around the house in a long shirt. In fact, when I’m dressed like that I can’t even go out on the balcony. It’s just that in Turkey the buildings are very close together, and the neighbors can see me from their windows.

He doesn’t like it when I cook pork at home and serve it to the kids. He says it’s unhealthy and it smells bad. But between the two of us, lamb sometimes smells much worse.

I don’t like breakfast here. For a long time, I had a complex about this: what kind of blogger am I, even more Turkish? And why does this breakfast have olives, sausages and jam?

Almost all desserts are somehow topped with a very sweet sugar syrup. The main dishes are prepared with tomato paste and an absurd amount of oil. And here on every corner they sell shawarma, which is called by the hair of döner kebab, which means “turning skewer”. Because of the unusual way of roasting the meat, the fat runs down the sides, but as it does not fall into the fire, it does not return to the food with harmful particles.

If you’ve come to visit, don’t forget to take your shoes off at the door. Don’t you dare take a step with your shoe, even in the hallway. Here it is unacceptable to walk around the house with shoes on. The Turks are shocked by the Americans in this regard. And always take your shoes off before entering a mosque, which is considered a home for everyone.

Every January 1st, like most people in Turkey, we go to the mall. For what? To exchange gifts. It so happens that at all special events the Turks give each other clothes as a gift.

And there’s nothing surprising about that, because the clothing industry is pretty good around here. This year, my husband and I bought sweaters for our mothers and ourselves. Not all the new clothes fit us in size, but that’s ok. When you shop, you always ask for an exchange stamp, so that the recipient can exchange it for something without any problems at any store on the same chain.

I’m not going to lie that a good education in Turkey is for the smart or the rich. You can only enroll your child in the free Kindergarten from the age of 4, and only 4 hours a day (from 8 am to 12 pm). Generally in Kindergarten there are groups that can stay longer, obviously for an extra charge, for which the child’s stay can be extended until 5 pm.

In private schools, you have to pay for everything, like food and school and sports uniforms. Since the first grade, the child already has an iPad, which she takes to classes to do some tasks online. The cost is calculated annually, and trust me, it’s high (generally starting at €3,000 per year).

In Turkey women give birth in private hospitals. Prices for childbirth range from €150 to €3,000. This cost also partly covers state insurance, which is mandatory.

Here they do a lot of cesareans. It is more convenient for the doctor, and many women, for fear of vaginal delivery, ask to have the surgery. Payment to the hospital is calculated per night. So after a normal birth you can go home the next day, but after a cesarean you have to wait another day.

Today there are many young couples in the country who do not hide their relationship from their parents, travel together and sometimes even rent an apartment together. Most are students who have moved to another city.

But in small towns that kind of freedom is not acceptable. Conservative traditions are still strong in the east of the country, where cousins ​​can marry by arrangement but can’t even think about going out together on a premarital date.

A real phenomenon has been taking place in Medicine here: while the technologies and equipment in the best local hospitals are at the same level as the largest American and European hospitals, prices are around 20 to 30% lower.

Most of the time people come for cosmetic surgeries: breast implants, facial harmonization, rhinoplasty and lip fillers. On the streets of Istanbul you can find many men with bandages on their heads. That means they were recently in the hospital getting a hair transplant.

Another popular procedure around here is the injection of botox in the stomach. This is not a surgical intervention, just an action that neutralizes the function of some muscles to decrease appetite.

To plan your travel budget, of course, you cannot forget the costs of the most important things. Let’s consider, for example, a district of Istanbul called Avcılar.

Renting a beach house there costs around €1,000 a month. Already renting an apartment can cost, more or less, € 200 per month. A midsize car rental costs €31 a day, while a bicycle costs €15 a day.

A basic grocery basket for a week costs around €30 per person. A cup of coffee costs 78 euro cents, and a cup of tea, half that. The average bill per person for dinner at a restaurant overlooking the sea with alcohol is €43, while dinner at a local pizzeria costs around €6.

And don’t forget to also visit this hamam, or Turkish bath. They are mostly historical monuments. For example, Galatasaray Hamamı (pictured) was built in the 15th century by order of Sultan Bayezid II. This place is also famous for a visit by John Travolta, who tipped €100 there.

Traveling by train across the country is very comfortable. Very modern trains run here, similar to Russia’s Sapsan. The first two cars of each train are for business class. It is worth buying tickets for these cars, because the difference for economy class is only 50% more. Business class has only 16 seats, wi-fi and, every 30 minutes, food and drinks are offered included in the price.

Turks know how to speak beautifully, serve and make “big” discounts, but they also have their tricks. Therefore, always check the bags that pack very well at the time of sale. At fairs, choose your own fruits and vegetables. Take all the best, it’s your right. Locals do just that, and if they find a rotten tomato, for example, they even throw it at the vendor.

At the beginning of the 20th century, some Russian intellectuals arrived in Istanbul (then Constantinople). However, most of them came penniless, because of revolutionary persecution. It was they who opened the “Rosa Preta” tavern, where Alexander Vertinsky, great poet, singer and actor, sang. The Turks, even without understanding Russian, were delighted with his talent. Nearby was also the Russian restaurant “Rejance”, where tartlets and borsch, a traditional Eastern European soup, were served. The Russian intelligentsia of Istanbul gathered there.

In this photo I am close to the “Rejance”, which has been closed since 2011 and there are only offices. The “Rosa Preta” is also closed. The buildings that housed these places are on Isticlal Avenue, which starts at Taksim Square.

You have every right to consider yourself a native Turk if:

after drinking an afternoon coffee, turn the cup to find out what your destiny is preparing for you; seeing uninvited guests at the door shows contagious joy, so guests believe that you made their favorite cake recipe for them; it’s not late, just lingering; when you’re at a restaurant with friends, you don’t think about how much the bill was. You simply pay and convince them that the next one is on them; driving the car you are not ashamed to honk freely for everyone to hear (shouting outside the window is also good); yogurt for you is not a dessert, but an additive to any ordinary meal; ⠀ kiss all…