“I love my daughter, but I hate being a mother.” The sincere testimony of a woman and the debate about the regret of motherhood

Karla Tenório is an actress, writer and mother of Flor, a 10-year-old girl. Karla always wanted to have children and never imagined that the decision to be a mother would be a reason for so much regret.

Being a mother is a difficult job that requires dedication 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. O awesome.club knows that taking care of a child is not an easy task and, therefore, defends people’s freedom to decide whether or not they want to go through this experience. Today’s article brings a very interesting perspective on this topic. Check it out and be sure to share your opinion in the comments.

Karla loves her daughter very much, but she never liked the responsibilities that came into her life when she had to take on the role of mother. Before giving birth, Karla spent two years planning and preparing for it, but was completely lost when she realized that nothing she had read before becoming a mother reflected the reality she had come to face.

“I’ve hated being a mother from the moment I saw my daughter’s head during birth.” Karla had some complications during childbirth, so the whole process was very delicate. At that moment, she was overcome by a feeling of sadness and realized that she was already at the point of no return. Over the years, she suffered from postpartum psychosis, or puerperal psychosis, but still did her best to be a perfect mother.

Karla stopped doing a lot of things she did before because she constantly felt guilty. That is, she wanted to be a perfect mother. Over the years, she began to read more about the subject and, little by little, felt more free to talk about her feelings. It was then that she realized that there were other women who felt the same way as she did.

About 10 years later, Karla told the truth and said she felt like a sorry mother. In one of her Instagram posts, she wrote: “Understanding my feeling, welcoming my regret, thinking about it and saying out loud that ‘I am a sorry mother’ freed up space inside of me for other feelings to arise🇧🇷 The lack of room for guilt made love and happiness grow, and I understood that I have something to offer the world. It might not be perfect, it might not be complete, but that’s what I have! And I think it’s beautiful.”

“Why doesn’t she like being a mother?”, “How can she be a good mother if she doesn’t like being one?” As time passed, all sorts of questions began to appear, but Karla tried to explain that having a child and being a mother are different things, and that it is possible to hate motherhood and at the same time love children.

“I don’t like being a mother, I definitely don’t. But I love my daughter. I love her in a way I can’t explain. And I always try to give her my best. We love each other so much. We are mother and daughter, but we are also friends, partners. Our relationship is strong and it works for us. And it is based on love and truth and respect.”

“Being a mother is very complicated and changes a woman’s life. In addition to a lot of satisfaction, it also brings many complications. I’m sure many people think the same way, but few talk about it. She says that she loves her daughter, which I think is very important, because there are people who love being a mother, but actually don’t act like one. It’s really important to recognize how we feel about motherhood and do the best we can for our children.” © Isabel Suta“There are women who are born to be mothers; there are others who don’t—but that doesn’t mean they can’t be good mothers and love their children. The problem is when they don’t feel complete, as the woman comes after the mother; In other words, the role of a woman takes a back seat, because having a child means living for it.” © Maria Victoria Ruiz Osorio

Karla thinks that romanticizing motherhood can be very harmful and can cause sadness, depression and even death. In addition, she believes that it is very important to prepare women who have not yet had children, and who are planning to have children, and to explain in a realistic way what motherhood involves.

Karla created a movement called “Repentant Mother”, which supports women who don’t like motherhood. “I want to hear the stories of other mothers. This initiative is about love. And for what, when my daughter grows up, she can make a real, conscious choice about motherhood🇧🇷 The main objective of the initiative is to free the voice of women who are not happy as mothers and feel guilt and suffer for it.

“I feel like I threw my life away when I decided to have kids; yes, I understood the compromise, but if I had known that things would turn out the way they did, I would have given up. I’m very jealous of women who don’t have children. I always think about how my life would have been without my son around. I know I love him very much, but I can’t remember the last time I was really happy.” © Rio102010“It was supposed to be a magical experience, but 95% of the work is boring, with endless vomiting and crying. It should be a worthwhile experience, but it doesn’t. I feel like my old life was so much better and I desperately want it back.” © weldlie_stucknow“No one told me that motherhood was lonely, or that I would feel isolated and alone in my own family. My feelings and efforts are invisible; it is useless to explain my feelings and why they are important; in addition, both child care and marriage itself (which suffers after the arrival of children) are emotionally draining.” © bump12e

What is your take on motherhood, and what about the open debate about Karla’s views? Do you think it’s possible to love your children and hate being a mother?