I hate wait

My love, I don’t like to wait!!!!

Just like that, with a lot of exclamation. I don’t know how I was able to wait those long months to be born naturally. Waiting means standing still waiting for others to act for me.

I can’t even stand standing in line at the ATM, because while I wait, the world moves, life renews, a thousand things are being done and mine are there, stopped, just waiting…

Although I don’t like the wait, I’ve waited several times.

I waited in line at the bank, because the performance of my movements depended on it. I waited for the bus at the bus station, because it took me to different places, friendships and loves. I waited on people, because I found personal fulfillment and I thought that maybe, just maybe, the payback would be worth it. Sometimes it was worth it, sometimes it wasn’t. I waited for time to pass, because some of my urgencies were only answered by him.

Despite being desperate at times, it ends up becoming a comfort in the end.

I waited for time to pass and I waited for you.

I waited because I thought it was the right thing to do.

I waited because that unresolved story hurt.

I waited because I don’t know how to go over it, without facing it head on.

For a furious moment I thought it wasn’t worth the wait, but I couldn’t be more wrong. Waiting for you showed me the neglect, the lack of attention. Waiting for you made me understand that if your life goes in circles, mine needs to follow another path.

Unless you change your mind and get tired of that old snowball that gets you nowhere and want to go down crooked paths hand in hand.

But now I don’t wait any longer. Now you will need to run.

Grazielle Vieira

SEE TOO:

The day I accepted that you just weren’t for me