I can’t stop thinking about him, 11 reasons and how to stop you

Is there a man in your life that you can’t get off your mind?

No matter what you do, or where you turn your thoughts, he just comes back again and again.

You wake up in the morning and think about him while going about your morning routine. You constantly see things around you that remind you of him. At night you go to bed and it’s the last thing you think about.

You feel conflicted and overwhelmed by your feelings. However, you don’t quite know what they mean.

Don’t worry, we are here to help you. Here are 11 reasons why this man is putting your mind into overdrive. Additionally, what does this mean for your relationship? And finally some effective techniques to slow down your mind.

But first let’s understand why it is common for people to experience what is happening to you.

the science behind

Without getting too technical, there could be a very simple explanation as to why you can’t stop thinking about him. And it is a matter of science.

There is a part of your brain called the “Reticular Activating System” or RAS. This is a small bundle of nerves found at the entrance to your brain. It makes sure that you only enter the important information.

For example, you see a pair of shoes that you liked, but you don’t compare them and leave them behind. Then, you start to see them everywhere. Your thoughts have been taken!

The same thing happens if you have thought about this boy. If he’s important to you, then it makes sense to keep coming to him all the time. Your brain is programmed this way.

But does it mean that you have feelings for him?

Find the answer by reading below these 11 points why you can’t stop your thoughts for him.

11 reasons why you can’t stop thinking about him

1) You are in love

This is the simplest explanation. You are in love with him!

going back to the science, you love it and your brain has realized it.

There are three scenarios you may be experiencing:

Both of you are dating other people, but you’ve fallen in love with him. This may have happened to you unexpectedly. Also, don’t dismiss these feelings. Love is love and you can’t control it. You love it, but you can’t have it. This, unfortunately, will not stop your feelings from developing. Just because you can’t have it doesn’t mean you can control your emotions and thoughts. You were in a relationship with him. Unfortunately breaking up with someone does not automatically make the feelings go away. It may take a while for your feelings to go away. Meanwhile, it may happen that he comes to your mind too often.

2) You are using it as a distraction

Another reason this guy can’t stop being on your mind is because you just don’t want him to.

Maybe you don’t have any feelings for him. You are simply using it as a distraction from something important that is happening in your life.

Whether your job has become extremely stressful or you have family problems, you may be looking for an escape. And certainly a guy you just met is a lot more fun to think about.

Maybe you start to analyze what you could wear for the next date. Where could they go or what could you do, what he likes.

It doesn’t mean you’re in love with him. It just means it’s a great distraction from other things going on in your life.

3) you are alone

You have been single for a while and this could make you constantly think about this man.

If you just met him, it could be because you love the idea of ​​thinking about someone new. If you haven’t been in a relationship for a while, then this is completely normal.

You love the idea of ​​being in a relationship. Have someone to talk to. Find that special person for you.

But this doesn’t mean that this guy is that person, or that you even have feelings for him. You just feel lonely and you fantasize about finding that person.

4) He hurt you

Not physically, but emotionally.

Don’t confuse the thoughts you’re having with the fact that you’re still in love with an ex.

Instead, consider that he has hurt you emotionally and that you are finding it difficult to move on.

All relationships tend to leave their own scars. If you wonder if you are affected by the breakup you had with an ex, then ask yourself the following questions:

Do I feel like a worse person right now than I did at the beginning of the relationship? Do I blame myself for the negative ways he treated me? Has this relationship changed my whole perspective on men? Do I believe now that love does not exist?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, you likely have emotional scars.

It can be helpful to talk to someone about it, so you can come to terms with the consequences of your last relationship and how it affected you.

As always, time is the best healer of all wounds. If he is constantly on your mind, give him time.

Acknowledge your thoughts to him for what they are: your mind dealing with the past.

Over time, it will hurt less and you will think less about it.

5) You admire him

Sometimes, it’s not about love at all. It’s about respect.

You respect this person and value their opinion. You want to consult him about all kinds of issues that arise on a day-to-day basis. This is why you can’t get it out of your head.

Of course, there is a very fine line between respecting someone and having this respect turn into feelings.

So how do you know the difference?

Consider how you feel about him as a person and ask yourself these questions:

Attracts me? I want to kiss him. Do I think what it would be like to date him?

If you answer no to these questions, then you probably just respect this man and his opinion.

6) He is a huge influence on everyone

Maybe you can’t stop thinking about him, because no one can.

Some guys have a certain charisma that seems to attract all women.

Even boys and girls want to be close to him.

Seeing how much others love you can provoke those same feelings in you. This is completely normal!

The same way every girl wants to be with the popular guy at school. Going out with him automatically makes you popular.

It may be that you are looking for this influence for yourself or that you really like it.

Think about your feelings for him and consider if you would feel the same way if he didn’t have the respect of so many people.

Think about what it might be like on a one-on-one date with him. Consider whether you really like him, or just the idea of ​​him and what he has to offer.

7) He is very sure of himself

As in the previous point, a man who exudes confidence becomes very attractive to anyone.

Research has shown that women are attracted to confident men.

As Gottman says: “women are attracted to men who are the CEO and the president…of themselves”.

We are very good at picking out the confident man in the crowd. His body language and his gestures tell us everything.

The hardest part? Forget this boy.

We are naturally drawn to it, making it difficult to get it out of our minds.

It could be just a fleeting attraction or it could be so much more than that.

To realize what your case is, you must give yourself time and see if you forget about him or if he persists in your thoughts.

8) Your hormones are going crazy

It may be a simple matter of your hormones having gone into overdrive.

Our body contains a certain amount of hormones, which can cause attraction:

Estrogen Serotonin Adrenaline Oxytocin Dopamine

All of these hormones peak at certain times of the month, when you get your period.

Think about your feelings for this boy. Do they seem to intensify at certain times of the month?

This could be a good indication that your hormones are kicking into high gear and fueling your attraction.

That’s not to say you don’t really like it! It’s just that you have to analyze a little more, what’s behind that hormonal rampage.

9) Actually, It’s About Sex

There is a chance that you are not even interested in a relationship. What you have is just a purely physical attraction to him.

You just want it for sex.

You want to know how it feels. You want to establish intimacy with him and nothing more.

There is a way to get it out of your head and that is: take it to bed.

Of course, this could lead to bigger problems if he starts to have feelings for you.

Or that you develop feelings for him.

Either way, think it through before you jump into bed with him. Who knows where this could lead.

10) You are ready for the future

If you’re already dating this guy and can’t stop thinking about him, it may be because you’re ready for the next step.

You’ve imagined a future together and now you can’t get it out of your mind.

While this is completely normal, it is important to be in the present moment.

They may be destined to grow old together, but obsessing over this outcome could damage the present moment.

Just live in the here and now. And plan for the future with peace of mind.

11) You are confused by the signals it sends you

If there’s a reason to obsess over a guy, it’s when he sends you those mixed signals and you can’t figure out what they mean.

He likes you? They are just friends? Did that wink mean something? Was the way he touched me conveying something else?

If you find yourself asking these kinds of questions every time you see this guy, chances are you’re thinking about him as much as trying to figure him out.

You spend all your time trying to read her body language and figuring out exactly what she’s thinking.

A simple solution is to ask him. Or go ahead and start dating another guy. It’s the best way to get it out of your head.

an obsession

There is a fine line between a healthy focus on a crush and an obsession.

If you find that he occasionally appears in your thoughts, this may be completely normal.

But if you find that he is taking over your thoughts and preventing you from functioning normally on a day-to-day basis, then this is a problem. So now is a good time to seek professional help and get to the bottom of why you can’t stop thinking about him.

work out your feelings

Now that you know why you’re constantly thinking about him, what’s next?

Determine which reasons apply to you and find out exactly what they mean.

If you have a crush on him, then it’s time to explore those feelings, if you haven’t already.

Get closer to him and find out if you share the same feelings. If you are in another relationship, it may be time to consider that you are with the wrong man. Ask yourself if you are willing to break up with your current partner, to be with this new man. If you’re okay with your current relationship, there’s not much you can do. Perhaps the best thing is to get away for a while, so that your feelings settle.

Either way, don’t stop trying…