I allow myself the luxury of pushing away what exhausts my patience.

In the mid-1970s, a series of laboratory experiments carried out by Robert Zajonc demonstrated that The mere exposure of individuals to familiar stimuli was enough for them to be rated in a more positive way, in comparison to similar stimuli that had not yet been presented. This effect is known as the “mere exposure” effect or “familiarity effect” and is something on which advertising investment is essentially based.

That is to say, this experiment was saying that even if something is not very attractive, we are going to get used to its presence by the mere fact of becoming familiar with it. However, human psychology is somewhat more complex. At a certain point, Although something is presented to us many times, it can stop being familiar and become burdensome, heavy and demotivating..

That saying that “we can get used to even the worst” does not always seem to be true in reality.. There are events that have been wearing down our patience and we want them to stop being familiar to us, we want that discomfort out of our lives. It is the luxury of getting away from that which exhausts your patience. It is a luxury, because sometimes it is out of our reach and because its benefits turn out to be a complete elixir of serenity and calm.

Putting our patience to the limit: a not fun game

There are many abilities that are amazing when put to the test in extreme situations. The same is not true of patience, that capacity that seems to be exhausted and consumed by certain people and situations that play with it to the limit too often.

People who continually ask for “forgiveness”, who justify continuous misunderstandings, rudeness and lack of consideration. Monotonous and eternal situations, which are reproduced over time over and over again, varying in form but not in substance: you always end up exhausted, sore and irritated.

All this accumulation of sensations leads us to a reflection that is evident in theory but not so much in practice: Playing with our patience is not fun at all, it is exhausting and frustrating. Turning a blind eye over and over again to attitudes that harm us is the opposite of assertiveness, it is emotional masochism.

Value my patience, over the years it is an energy that runs out

Before analyzing and judging what fills our patience, we should analyze ourselves. If you expose yourself again and again to what irritates you, you are exposing yourself openly to a battalion of knives that are increasingly sharper, increasingly more precise and accurate in the damage they cause to you.

If you already know what you have to do and you don’t do it, it is not someone else’s responsibility, but your own. You already know what you are exposing yourself to, receiving new disappointment is a matter of time. You are playing Russian roulette with your patience and dignity. Even if you think you are doing it because you are not avoiding conflicts with people you appreciate, you are giving carte blanche to anyone who does not take you into consideration.

Patience is a limited capacity, therefore. It is a virtue when we put it at the service of something that we are interested in achieving in the long term or when we need it greatly in exceptional situations, such as a big tantrum from a child or enduring a long delay from someone we had arranged to meet.

Therefore, patience should not define us, but characterize us: I have patience for that which deserves it or for which I cannot find any other remedy. I have no patience for what continually irritates me for no apparent reason, expecting absolute complacency and silence from me. That is not being patient, that is harming myself without any need, without having any certain reward other than pain.

Set limits for others so that our patience does not reach its limit

The key to preserving our patience on what needs it is, therefore, not to waste it on what does not require it. If a friend always changes our plans at her convenience, if a co-worker arrives late without exception or if someone lies to us on a regular basis, we must make her see that we do not like her behavior and that we are not willing to continue tolerating it.

Silence regarding attitudes and behaviors that harm us makes us complicit in the pain that others cause us. Kindness and patience have a limit and it is the loss of the naivety of assuming that things will change on their own, without us taking sides in the situation that directly affects us.

Getting away from what exhausts your patience is a luxury and a good decision, because we do not have to go back down the paths in which we mostly always find excuses, lies, inconsideration or contempt. Wanting to keep your patience is loving yourself.

Some will be shocked by cutting corners, since they lack a sense of self-criticism and are not aware that your patience is a limited asset and that the energy to endure continuous rudeness has to be used for something better.

Patience should be directed towards something that does not always make you feel uncomfortable and nervous. No matter how familiar that may have been in our lives, everyone has the ability to say “that’s it” or “I don’t want to endure this one more time.” Our patience is a value, but also a beacon that identifies people who only test it anecdotally.

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