How to treat an authoritarian person

The authoritarian person is one who imposes his ideas on others.. His position before the world is that his opinions must always be accepted, or almost always, and for a very particular reason: they are his. With her attitude and her way of relating, she seeks to make people do what she says or wants. Contrary to him is an offense, in addition to being a reason for aggressive and degrading behavior.

Other people’s opinions are not important, especially if they go against your own beliefs. The other is perceived as someone who must obey without resisting. Power for the authoritarian is central and exercising it is key to dominating in every situation.

These types of personalities tend to be very dominating. By trying to impose their ideas, they subject others to their way of thinking. In submission they reaffirm their domination, their control and their power. The interaction dynamics of these three factors support their behaviors and ways of relating to the world.

Let us keep in mind that the way in which a person manifests his authority and displays his power and domination over others can vary from one person to another. The personality It is a complex pattern that is expressed in different forms and degrees. Therefore, in some people we can clearly observe authoritarian and domineering attitudes, while in others these attitudes and behaviors will be more subtle, almost imperceptible.

Authoritarian people are inflexible and always want to be right.

Characteristics of authoritarian people

Some relevant characteristics of authoritarian people are the following:

They try to impose their ideas without giving justifications. They always believe they are right.They believe they are born leaders.They ridicule those around them. They boast about their achievements.They have rigid thoughts.They feel superior to other people. They make people fear them.They tend to be aggressive people.They demand loyalty to their values ​​and ideas.

What to do when faced with an authoritarian person?

The first thing you should do is identify whether or not you are dealing with an authoritarian person, For this, the description we have made in the previous section may be useful to you. Then, what you should do is learn to use an assertive communication style, so that you defend your ideas, your values ​​and your beliefs without allowing the authoritarian person to walk over you or emotionally blackmail you.

In line with the above, it is necessary that learn to set limits because the authoritarian when trying to impose his will will cross the borders that divide their world from yours, their ideas from yours, their feelings from yours. Only by transgressing these boundaries is it possible to submit to what he wants.

Authoritarian people do not respect limits because these restrict their desire for domination, control and power.

Assertiveness to deal with an authoritarian person

Below, we offer you some assertiveness techniques to confront an authoritarian person.

1. Broken disk technique

Defend our point of view staying calm and without being aggressive. With this technique you do not attack the other, and it is also very difficult for them to attack you. By repeating your point of view over and over again, the authoritarian person is likely to give up trying to persuade you.

2. Fog bank

Look for something reasonable in what the authoritarian person has said that you can recognize as true, but without adopting a change of attitude. With this technique, you can give the sensation of giving in, without actually doing so.

3. Assertive postponement

If you don’t know what to say or do, Delay responding until you feel calm and able to respond.. For example, “it is a very problematic issue between us. If you like, we’ll leave it for later, because I have to work.” Always use a calm tone of voice.

4. Ignore technique

Apply this technique if you see that the authoritarian person is very aggressive or angry, so that you do not give them the opportunity to offend you. What you should do is reflect his emotion and postpone the conversation: “I see that you are angry, it is best that we talk when it is calmer.” Remember to be kind, understanding and respectful.

5. Assertive question technique

If the authoritarian person is criticizing you, Ask in-depth questions that allow you to better know and understand what he or she means. For example: “What exactly bothers you about…? How do you suggest I change so it doesn’t happen again?” If the criticism is malicious, the person will surely be left without answers. On the other hand, if it is based on serious and honest reflection, it may really help you change.

Other assertive techniques that can help you are learning to say no, knowing how to reject requests and requesting changes in behavior.

Assertiveness is a very broad social skill that you can use to deal with different situations.

How to set limits for an authoritarian person

To establish healthy limits, keep the following recommendations in mind:

Clarify your limits, defines how far you can go and how far others can go, what they are allowed and not allowed to do in relation to you. Take some time and define the horizon, that border, that you will not allow anyone to cross, neither physically nor emotionally.Set your limits little by little, Go from the smallest to the largest, but progressively. This will give the authoritarian person time to adapt to these new changes.Define the consequences that transgressing these limits will have for the other person.. Talking about these consequences with the authoritarian person when they are receptive can be helpful, so you can make your rights heard.Be consistent with your limits and consequences, This way you will have more credibility in front of the authoritarian. Consistency will also make him take your posture and limits seriously.Be assertive. Assertiveness will help you know how to express your limits, your thoughts and feelings without needing to disrespect or attack the other person. In addition, it will be a useful tool for you to know how to say no.

Dealing with an authoritarian person is not easy, but you can start by assuming an assertive attitude and ensuring that your limits are respected, both by him and by you.

Changing these types of people is complicated, so the best thing you can do when they resist change is to reconsider whether it is necessary to continue in contact with them or change our way of interpreting their actions.

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