How to treat a man who only looks for you when he wants to

Getting over someone, who looks for you when they want, can often be difficult. Also, accepting that he doesn’t have the same feelings as you can take some time.

It can also happen that your relationship lasts too long and you start to get anxious and even fall into depression.

I understand you, I was in your place. Fortunately I got over it, thanks to a long learning process, which I will tell you about in this article. Surely my experience can help you solve your problem, in less time than it took me. Let’s start…

5 keys to deal with a guy who only approaches you when he wants something from you

1) Avoid contacting him

If someone clearly only reaches out to you when they want to, you shouldn’t continue with them. This type of behavior is indicating to you that he is only using you for his own benefit and is neglecting your well-being.

And you are responsible for ensuring your own well-being in the first place.

The reality is that if you’ve been with him for a while and they wanted to start a relationship, they would have already done so. Do not you believe it?

Once you realize that you are not getting what you want out of a relationship, you should stop contacting this person.

Don’t see this guy at social events, don’t text him, or call him.

If you’re tempted to reach out to him, do something for yourself or go out with your friends.

You can even make an agreement with one of your friends that every time you feel tempted to contact him, you call her instead.

In some cases, it is not possible to completely isolate yourself from someone. For example, if you work or go to school with this person. So in this case, the best thing to do is keep interactions to a bare minimum. Do not get involved in anything that is not necessary, if he is there.

2) Ignore their late-night texts and phone calls

If a guy only looks for you when he feels like it, it can happen that he texts or calls you late at night.

For example, you might get a text at 1 am asking if you’re still awake. This is a very likely sign that he just wants to sleep with you.

Do not reply to these texts. You will only prolong the situation, which will cause you to hurt yourself more and more. Start simply ignoring this type of contact.

If the guy keeps sending these kinds of messages, after you’ve ignored them for a while, send him one saying something like, “I don’t want this kind of relationship anymore. Please, he stops contacting me”.

Sometimes there are men who are used to behaving in a certain way and they get what they want. But suddenly, if this stops working, he starts trying harder, for a while, before giving up.

Hold your ground and eventually he will leave you alone.

3) Stop being friends with her on social media

It can be hard to let go of social media. It’s common to hold onto past lovers through Facebook and Instagram.

However, constantly seeing someone online, who doesn’t reciprocate as we wish, will only prolong the anguish.

It is best to block or remove it on social media profiles, or at least unfollow it.

You must realize that checking an ex’s social networks will not make you feel better. So do your best not to fall into the habit.

Whenever you are tempted to click on his profile, remember that it will only make you feel bad and make it harder to get over him.

Focus on the work that cost you the decision to quit and the effort you’ve made so far to forget it. I’m sure this will make you think twice before throwing that effort away.

But it is also normal that you are wrong sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up for it. It will take a while until you achieve it. Remember that no one is perfect and you are in the middle of a process, which is not easy.

You may even consider taking a break from social media altogether until you feel stronger.

This can help you focus on other activities and take good care of yourself.

Another option is to simply remove these apps from your phone, leaving only the less convenient option of using your computer.

4) Avoid social gatherings that share

If you have met him within a group of friends or acquaintances that you frequent, it is very likely that you will come across him at an event they have. When you suspect you might run into him, try to find out, without being too obvious, if he’ll attend. If so, better avoid attending that meeting.

If you inevitably run into him, then do your best to stay away. If he approaches you, tell him you need to go to the bathroom or start talking to someone else.

If he insists, it is best that you withdraw from the event. If you feel emotionally low when you leave, you can call or meet with someone who can provide support.

Remember that the more you manage to avoid it, little by little you will forget it and you will leave open the possibility of finding the right man for you.

5) Manage your emotions

A very important step is to allow yourself to experience your feelings in depth, to strengthen yourself. In this way you will also be able to know how to treat a man, who only looks for you when he wants to.

Nobody likes to feel bad, because they are not valued as they deserve. However, it is impossible to recover from a bad experience without going through negative emotions. Allow yourself to feel them, instead of denying them or trying to bury them inside yourself. Otherwise, they can arise later in a worse way.

Also, if you get over this difficult situation, it will be easier to face him and tell him that you don’t want to know anything about him anymore, because he is not available to you, as you need him to be.

This can be a painful and confusing experience. Be compassionate with yourself, while ordering your emotions.

Remember that being sad sometimes is part of human nature. People may tell you to cheer up or get over it, long before you’re ready. They just want you to be okay. But it’s okay to be sad for as long as it takes for you.

Although you shouldn’t give this more time and space than it deserves. You must be clear that life goes on and that you are not going to waste time for someone who does not deserve it.

Take a few minutes each day to experience your feelings, good and bad. This will allow you to heal. You can also talk to a trusted friend to help you process these emotions.

6) Prepare to be strong, if he seeks you out in person

Men in general don’t like being rejected.

That’s why when you start to ignore him or tell him that you don’t want to know anything about him, he’ll probably start to insist on seeing you.

If he doesn’t convince you, then he can force a meeting somewhere that he knows you frequent, like the store or a park near your house.

For when this happens, you must be prepared. She imagines meeting him and thinks that you will tell her, so that she understands that you no longer want anything with him. Keep in mind that he can be very insistent and you must hold your ground, thinking that you are doing it for your own good.

It can be an uncomfortable and complicated situation to navigate. So, if you want to get out of it gracefully, think that you are giving yourself a new opportunity to meet someone who does want your good.

What can you do to get over a guy who has used you?

1) Make a list of your flaws

Sometimes it can be helpful to remember the things you didn’t like about someone when you’re trying to get over a romantic rejection.

Noticing little flaws in him can remind you that the relationship and the guy weren’t perfect.

Think about everything that bothered you about him. He maybe he talked too much about himself, he didn’t answer whatsapp messages or he didn’t like the same books or movies.

You can also focus on small details, like you didn’t like his haircut or he didn’t cut his toenails often enough.

Write them down and review them regularly. You can even stick them on your mirror or somewhere you will see them regularly.

This will help prevent you from idealizing the relationship.

2) Rephrase your feelings in neutral terms

When you start to feel angry or bitter, become fully aware of your feelings. Process them completely so as not to hold resentment.

Additionally, do not allow these feelings to sink you into anguish and depression.

To do this you must translate these thoughts into neutral assessments of the situation.

For example, if you think something like “He’s an idiot. I was too good for him,” he rephrases this in neutral terms, for a more realistic assessment of the situation. For example, “We clearly wanted different things and were at different stages in life.”

If you apply this you will see how your emotions will come into balance.

3) Be kind to yourself

Following a rejection, it is easy to fall into reflections of the type: what did I do wrong?

You may think things like “why doesn’t he want to be with me? what’s wrong with me?”

Try to ignore these kinds of thoughts.

The reality is that there are many reasons why someone may not feel love for another person and it probably has nothing to do with you.

Maybe he liked you and was attracted to you, but felt that you were on different paths in life.

Perhaps you have had previous relationships that have hurt you and you are not available to start something new.

He may simply prefer a different type of woman for a committed relationship than for casual hookups.

Whatever the reason, it probably has nothing to do with you as a person.

You may have rejected people before and it probably wasn’t because there was something wrong with them. They just weren’t his type.

It may also help to think about what you’ve had with him, as an experience on life’s journey.

It is easier to deal with problematic situations when you feel that they are meant for you to learn from them.

4) Be realistic about what your relationship was like

As hard as it may be, you must acknowledge the fact that you were used.

When you realize that this person wasn’t interested in you, beyond having sex, this can help you accept that they weren’t the right person for you.

Also, what would have happened if they had started a true romantic relationship?

Surely there would be difficulties and fights. For something it didn’t happen. Possibly they have many incompatibilities.

And if they had gotten together as a couple, they probably would have broken up, which could be even more painful.

The fact is that this guy is interested in only having sex with you and if he were your partner, he might not have much to offer you.

5) Seek help

If you haven’t been able to get over this guy for a while, then it might be a good idea to seek professional help.

Talking to a therapist can help you find your way out much easier.

On the one hand, you will be able to put into words everything that happens to you and get it out of you.

On the other hand, the professional…