How to remain a STRONG WOMAN within your marriage

The reason I am writing this post is because I believe that many women, especially Christian women, but even those who are not, have the wrong view of what it is like to be a married woman or what it should be like.

There are those who may fear that marriage will overwhelm them to the point where they are hardly an individual. Some believe that once they marry and become “one” with their husband, they literally unite their personality with him.

I’ve seen this before. Where a married woman said she doesn’t trust herself to make big decisions so she lets her husband sort things out because she would probably make all the wrong decisions.

But what?

I read this on a Christian blog a few years ago. And while I always try to really see other people’s perspectives and wonder why people think the way they do; to her, I’d like to say, please stop talking.

If you think you’re not smart enough to make wise decisions for your family, why would anyone, especially women who want to learn to become leaders, listen to you?

Now, as a Christian, I believe in submission. I mean, the Bible says, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord (Colossians 3:18).” So there’s no arguing with that if you believe the Bible. But what bothers me is the thousand different ways women and men interpret this verse.

As in my story above, there are some women who see the whole “submission” thing as basically being a slave to their husbands. Their opinions must fully conform to the opinions of their husbands. Her ideas are always surpassed by her husband’s ideas. And in pretty much every area, it’s his way or the street.

I want you to know today that this is not what this verse intended.

First of all, I think most of us get so caught up in the scary word SUBMISSION, that we totally forgot the second half of this verse!

The part that says “as is proper in the Lord”. What does this part mean exactly? I think there are two ways to interpret it, it is either fair to the Lord that you present yourself 100% to your husband, or a woman must submit to her husband. when he is in line with the Word of God. Submit to your husband in ways befitting the Lord.

What lesson can we learn from this exactly?

Here’s a black and white example to make things more solid:

If your husband comes to you and says, “I’m going to rob a bank and I want you to help me!” that’s not really going to be “belonging to the Lord,” so in my humble opinion, you don’t have to submit to it.

I mean, what would please God more? That you followed your husband and robbed the bank? Or that you would say to him, “Sorry, love, but this dishonors the name of the God I love. Then no!”

If you answered “the second”, I think we are on the same page.

But…

What if your husband says, “Honey, I think we need to stop spending so much on eating out. We have to save more money.”

What to do? What if you think you’re already saving enough? What if it means more work for you not to eat so much?

SEE ALSO: RELATIONSHIP IN CRISIS? HERE ARE SOME TIPS TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

It’s not like the Bible says, “So don’t eat out to give more to the poor.” So, what you do? This, I believe, is one of those “as befits the Lord” moments. Your husband’s intentions may be good, and there is nothing about them that can dishonor God. Then… even if that might mean cooking at home a few more nights a week, it would certainly honor God to submit to your husband like that.

Now, dealing with situations like this isn’t always as easy and simple as making dinner at home a few more times a week. This can be really very difficult!

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned by reading the Bible for what it is, and not using it for my own agenda, it’s that Christ never promised that following him would be easy. In fact, He promised it would be difficult! But He also promised that “would be worth it.”

Some time ago someone commented in one of my posts: “I believe that God wants us to be happy”. But I believe that what God wants for us is much deeper than being happy.

I believe that God wants us to find joy in every situation. Situations where things don’t go our way. Situations where we do much more than our fair share of the work. And in situations where it is really difficult to predict the outcome.

Jesus promises that He will be enough and, in Him, we can have joy in any of these situations.

Having said all that, now I’m going to tell you how to remain a STRONG WOMAN, even in your marriage:

1. Seek knowledge!

Knowledge is powerful, my friends. I know I’m not the first person to say this, but it’s true. If you want to be able to reach out to someone – your husband, your colleagues, other mothers, whoever – with a strong and valid opinion, you need to show that you know what you’re talking about.

Implement things in your life that keep you informed and learning.

2. Understand your personality and the strengths you possess

My combined skills make us a great team along with my husband and I am often able to be proud of who I am and how different I am now that I have realized that my differences are not weaknesses but strengths!

SEE ALSO: 10 ESSENTIAL TIPS TO BUILD A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR LOVE

I encourage you to take personality tests, both you and your husband, to find out more about why you are the way you are. Each personality type is special and has its own strengths. Discover yours and be proud of the strengths and differences you have and use them to work together with your husband’s!

3. Be a self-motivator

It’s hard to write about it because, honestly, it takes a lot to motivate me. If I were left to my own devices, I would often be lazy and despicable. I have to work really hard to find intrinsic motivation (motivation that comes from within rather than extrinsically, like bribing myself with a cake).

Usually, my intrinsic motivation comes from a desire to be a better version of myself. Paired with caffeine, of course.

There are some days where I really want to be the kind of wife who actually has a house that always looks so good you could take a picture of it anytime and post it on Instagram and make others jealous.

My point here is: don’t allow yourself to be motivated by just your husband or anyone else. I mean yes, my husband motivates me to do things. I love being married to someone who challenges me.

But your husband shouldn’t be the reason you choose to eat healthy, for example. Do these things, but do them for yourself.

4. Understand that your worth is not based on others

My husband and I will find out the sex of our baby tomorrow!! We are so excited! I was telling him last night that one of my biggest concerns about raising a little girl is having her be the kind of kid who doesn’t find her valuable in what others think of her, and wanting her to be the kind of person that she is. empathetic with everyone.

In high school, I was a very different person than I am today. I had no idea who I was. I didn’t understand that it was okay to be quiet and introspective. Instead, I tried to feel better about who I was by gossiping about others with my friends so they would notice others’ weaknesses before they saw mine.

I hope and pray that my son will not be who I was in those years of trying to figure out who I was. I pray that he or she understands what their intrinsic value is, and reaching out to the marginalized in society and being shunned by the popular does nothing to change that.

SEE TOO:

To be happy in love, we have to stop worrying about what others say!