How to overcome the fear of my partner leaving me

The emotional dependence It arrives without us knowing. We believe that we have everything under control until we find ourselves in this situation that traps us without realizing it and this is the danger that we must take into account to avoid falling into it.

Before starting, consider how your situation is. Your partner goes out with his friends and you stay at home, do you call him constantly? You need to talk to your partner constantly and if one day you don’t talk too much you worry. Or perhaps you have put aside some friends, not necessarily completely but partially, and you don’t see them as much as before because you say almost nothing or nothing. Your life focuses on making plans with your partner whether at home or away. And it’s okay to spend a lot of time with your partner, but perhaps it has become the basis of your life. Do you still take time for yourself? Or have you given up activities that you used to like to do?

How to know if I am dependent on my partner

When many people fall in love, they detach themselves from who they are without realizing it, that is, they lose their entire personality and let themselves be carried away by the relationship, not as something bad but because they themselves want to. They stop dedicating time to themselves to dedicate it to their partners and this makes them each one loses his individuality and lead to dependency.

Dependence on another person makes you become increasingly distrustful and this means that you come to test your partner. You ask him how much he loves you or if he loves you constantly and you need his affection, whether it be his words, affection or simply his presence. Without realizing it, you are creating a rope with which you are tying your partner. This happens because you are becoming insecure. You have spent so much time with him that you no longer conceive of life without that person, because you have stopped being yourself. This can have consequences such as instead of bringing your partner closer, you distance them, or even cause problems for yourself, since if one day the relationship ends you will not know how to be alone and the pain will be even greater.

If you continually ask yourself questions that all they offer you is pain or suffering around your partner or an uncertain future, or thoughts like “he’s going to leave me” or “I’m sure he’s tired of me” you should be aware of this, because A very strong obsession and addiction is being created: emotional dependence. All this will lead you to realize that you reach feel afraid of losing your partner and although in some circumstances it is normal to have fear of losing someone you loveit is not always something justified, much less good for you or the relationship.

Dependency also occurs if your relationship has many ups and downs and there are many arguments, but deep down you continue with that person because you think that they do you or you do more good than harm. You are not seeing what is happening and although the people around you think that a relationship like this is unsustainable, you continue to think that your relationship is strong and that in all relationships there are arguments. Think carefully about whether you are grasping at straws simply because you don’t want to leave that person or if there really are more happy moments than sad or angry ones.

An emotional dependency is reached from the beginning of the relationship. For this reason, both parties have to act so that this does not go to the extreme. When starting a relationship, it is normal to spend a lot of time with that person and get to know them little by little. It seems like you like her more and more and every day you want to spend more time with her. Be careful, at this moment you may be crossing the line without realizing it. You start to put aside some things to be with your partner or, on the contrary, she begins to ask you for more time together. As we have seen, in a relationship affection is not measured by the time you spend together.

This must be taken into account because at the beginning of relationships everything is very beautiful and it does not have to stop being so with the passage of time, but for that you have to know how to see things and not be blinded. You have to know how to set limits and know how to be with yourself to be able to be good with another person. Spend time with your partner but also with other people. As you spend time with this person, leaving aside everything else, you lose yourself.

Furthermore, it is most likely that idealize your partner. You begin to idealize him, thinking that you don’t deserve him or that he puts up with many of your things. But think for a moment: if a person wants to be with you, he will be there regardless, just as you are also with that person apart from his flaws. If I didn’t want to be with you, I wouldn’t be because no one is obliged to be with anyone, so stop thinking that that person puts up with your attitude because you also do it for him or her and it’s because you want to and you love him or her and this is reciprocal. .

Your partner is not as good as you think, it does not mean that he is a bad person but you may be giving him more positive things than they really are, that is, exaggerating and idealizing as we have mentioned. Pay attention to people who speak to you from the outside since you see it with a blindfold, as they say. It is important to trust the people around us other than the couple as they will give us an objective view of the situation.

To know how to overcome the fear of your partner abandoning you You have to start by thinking that your life is an accumulation of things and one of them is love, but it is not the main one. Therefore, Imagine what would happen if you based your entire life on love and leave aside the others. When love ends you will feel without anything. What if the relationship doesn’t end? We are not talking about it going to end no matter what, but keeping in mind that things can end will help you a lot to endure this situation. You can keep in mind some keys to know if a relationship has a future, like the ones we tell you in this other unCOMO article, but keep in mind that anything can happen.

Don’t take anything for granted because in this life nothing is known other than what happens in the present. Anything can happen, there are couples that last forever, others that call it quits as soon as they start, and others that think they are going to get married and suddenly break up. There are also those who get married a month after meeting each other and end up starting a family. A thousand things can happen to change the situation. People can also stop being in love, but just as it happens to the other person, it can happen to you. If you are with someone it is because you love them just like the other person, so why would they leave you? And thinking that the other person would not want to, then ask yourself: would you like to be with a person who you know does not want to be with you? It is better not to retain people, if they want to be there they will be there and if not, they will not be there.

Think for a moment that you no longer want to continue the relationship and what is the worst that could happen. If you have a shared house you will have to talk about it, sort out paperwork. Or if you have a child in common, you should talk about custody. If you don’t have any of this, you avoid these paperwork and legal aspects and family problems, therefore, what else could happen? Yes, you’re not going to spend any more time with that person. When we get into a relationship we get used to being in a relationship and when we leave it It’s just about getting used to it. The affection will go away little by little, time heals that, like almost everything, so you must be patient.

Leaving aside the pain that you feel at the beginning and that will surely heal with the passage of time, even if you don’t see it now, the only thing we have to do when a person abandons us is to get used to it, return to our life in solitude. And this will be much easier if we have not put aside our activities, our life. The best thing is to focus on going out with our friends and family, lean on other people and keep ourselves busy.

That is why it is so important that you do not let a relationship absorb you and become dependent and toxic. And think that if your partner leaves you, the worst thing that can happen, if you don’t have a house or children, is that you will suffer the loss for a while but everything will return to normal. Therefore, lose the fear of your partner leaving you because, you see, it doesn’t have to happen and the world isn’t ending.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to overcome the fear of my partner leaving mewe recommend that you enter our Sentimental Relationships category.